What makes a member popular on SS?

[Crazy4u]

OP,

we don't interact much here. I don't respond to your posts much but I read most of them.

your last few posts indicate your stress level about the forum situation with journalists and prolifers. I think your stress is taking a toll on you. I say that as a member who cares about you not to criticize you.

I am not a likeable member myself and I am like that in real life. I felt very unwelcome in many places. I can rest assure you this place is very welcoming to many people including you and me. There are some annoying members but that's about it.

I hope you don't find my comment annoying. If it does, I apologize in advance.

 

[Mr2005]

Playing the victim makes members popular? Is "playing the victim" a euphemism for pretending to be someone you aren't/lying? Who here gets to decide that someone is playing the victim rather than telling the truth? Are the mods observing us on thousands of screens in some sort of control room? I better put my underwear on!

I like your posts but this is the first time I've been faced with one. Let me see, if it looks too good to be true it usually is. There's always two sides to a story so let's hear the other one

 

[motel rooms]

Let me see, if it looks too good to be true it usually is. There's always two sides to a story so let's hear the other one

You expect the members who claim they're victims to ask the (allegedly) abusive people in their lives to tell us their side of the story?

 

[Mr2005]

You expect the members who claim they're victims to ask the (allegedly) abusive people in their lives to tell us their side of the story?

Who says they aren't already?

 

[motel rooms]

Who says they aren't already?

But what can be done if an abuser decides to convincingly impersonate a victim on SS? We can only keep warning members to protect their anonymity & not to blindly trust anyone...

I've noticed that a couple of people contradict themselves/tell silly lies, but I think that's either part of their condition/illness or they're just giving their ego a harmless boost. It's easy to ignore them. Many members are starved for attention & some of them seek it in slightly tiresome ways (you mentioned self-pity), but that's perfectly understandable & forgivable. Nobody can force you to read their posts & contribute to their "popularity" by giving them a tiny hug...

 

[Snake of Eden]

Are the mods observing us on thousands of screens in some sort of control room? I better put my underwear on!

Mod Umber alert We got exposed!! I repeat we got exposed!!

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Many members are starved for attention & some of them seek it in slightly tiresome ways (you mentioned self-pity), but that's perfectly understandable & forgivable.

Attention is the basis for communication. "Seeking attention" is literally what everyone does when writing anything that isn't for the sake of information or favor. What you mean when you say this is that they seek emotional support.

Whether I make a quick comment, or vent about my life, I'm still seeking attention. Otherwise I'd be perfectly satisfied with just thinking it, there would be no need to send it to others.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Honestly, popularity is arbitrary to me. Especially here. It's superficial and in the face of the reasons we are all here, insignificant. That said, I don't feel there are any overtly popular people here, merely some people others relate to better than others. It's a pretty damn diverse group here so you're going to have a vast difference in opinions, likes, dislikes and overall opinions. Just my two cents.

P.S.

Popularity on a suicide forum?
What is this, High School of the Dead?

 

[noname223]

OP,

we don't interact much here. I don't respond to your posts much but I read most of them.

your last few posts indicate your stress level about the forum situation with journalists and prolifers. I think your stress is taking a toll on you. I say that as a member who cares about you not to criticize you.

I am not a likeable member myself and I am like that in real life. I felt very unwelcome in many places. I can rest assure you this place is very welcoming to many people including you and me. There are some annoying members but that's about it.

I hope you don't find my comment annoying. If it does, I apologize in advance.

You are probably right. Weirdly I got no more alerts for this thread. I have a lot of stress currently. Due to university and the articles of the NYT/journalists. Both have a bad influence on me.
I never have this paranoia thing fully under control. No matter how much medication I take. Maybe this is a warning sign that soon something very bad will happen. (A third psychosis) I think in this case I would need to ctb soon.

I really appreciate your comment and this is really a helpful feedback. I will talk with my therapist about it.
I feel very strained. I am really scared about the next weeks. I might have to kill myself soon when I get ill again. Maybe I should take some benzos. You are really right with your observation. Something is off currently.

 

[Snake of Eden]

I never liked being popular. It just feels overwhelming, unrealistic to maintain and too temporary. Being a nobody or an outcast is a much more comfortable place for me to be. God I hate the spot light. But that being said, i do enjoy asserting my views and defending them even though I am also flexible and open for other views and as to change mine when I am convinced. I am not too scared to speak up when I can if necessary. But yes i think I can get by with minimal level from outside attention and validation. But I cant live without

 

[yive]

the same as in all other places: populism, sociability and not very radical views. however, by telling the naked, honest and blatant truth, you will not become very "popular", because it is impossible to tell the truth and not offend anyone at the same time. human relationships are built on lies

 

[lostautist]

I was 'popular' in high school and after. Even online at one time for a good while. I don't care about that. I'm here facing the potential unpleasant future and sharing what I can. I'm very helpful and caring to the point of anxiety, but there's not much one can really do anonymously online. I have a few really good friends and emotional support and friendship from others, but nowhere I can face what I'm going through alone, which is why I'm here. I'm here for my own reasons, but I'm here with everyone for now. If it were possible I'd try to fix everyone else cause I'm like that, but I have my own burdens. I just want everyone to find their own acceptable peace without having to ctb if possible, but I know it's inevitable for some.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

I was 'popular' in high school and after. Even online at one time for a good while. I don't care about that. I'm here facing the potential unpleasant future and sharing what I can. I'm very helpful and caring to the point of anxiety, but there's not much one can really do anonymously online. I have a few really good friends and emotional support and friendship from others, but nowhere I can face what I'm going through alone, which is why I'm here. I'm here for my own reasons, but I'm here with everyone for now. If it were possible I'd try to fix everyone else cause I'm like that, but I have my own burdens. I just want everyone to find their own acceptable peace without having to ctb if possible, but I know it's inevitable for some.

Hell yes! Truer words of wisdom are seldom spoken. I love this philosophical outlook.

 

[motel rooms]

"Seeking attention" is literally what everyone does when writing anything that isn't for the sake of information or favor. What you mean when you say this is that they seek emotional support.

Yes. And you claim you're not tapped into your feminine side... I should've said "seeking affection", but I'm judgmental & toxically masculine due to my deeply internalized homophobia & intense fear of vulnerability.*

Yes, even normie selfie whores of all genders just want emotional support/validation. Remember that the next time they make you experience dry retching. They are just gaping holes begging to be filled with something, anything.

* I'm working hard to fix those issues, I really am. There's this guy I occasionally have to interact with who's been really helpful. He reminds me I'm a bad cisgender white man each time I passive-aggressively, microaggressively & macrotoxically fail to notice that he's using a new type of organic handmade lip balm or refuse to let his freshly manicured hands touch my privates in a purely friendly manner. We're both gay, so it's beyond obscene that my penis doesn't want to be fondled by him. If he ever realizes he keeps getting rejected by a diagnosed sex addict, I may be court ordered to pay him damages. Way TMI again, I know, I'm such an attention whore.

Mod Umber alert We got exposed!! I repeat we got exposed!!

It's OK, I welcome & appreciate any & all forms of attention. Me & hubby are used to doing webcam work anyway, as all of you in the control room know.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Yes. And you claim you're not tapped into your feminine side... I should've said "seeking affection", but I'm judgmental & toxically masculine due to my deeply internalized homophobia & intense fear of vulnerability.*

Yes, even normie selfie whores of all genders just want emotional support/validation. Remember that the next time they make you experience dry retching. They are just gaping holes begging to be filled with something, anything.

* I'm working hard to fix those issues, I really am. There's this guy I occasionally have to interact with who's been really helpful. He reminds me I'm a bad cisgender white man each time I passive-aggressively, microaggressively & macrotoxically fail to notice that he's using a new type of organic handmade lip balm or refuse to let his freshly manicured hands touch my privates in a purely friendly manner. We're both gay, so it's beyond obscene that my penis doesn't want to be fondled by him. If he ever realizes he keeps getting rejected by a diagnosed sex addict, I may be court ordered to pay him damages. Way TMI again, I know, I'm such an attention whore.



It's OK, I welcome & appreciate any & all forms of attention. Me & hubby are used to doing webcam work anyway, as all of you in the control room know.

Nvm, False alarm! get back to your screens and I willllllllllll get back to my screen..

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Yes. And you claim you're not tapped into your feminine side...

Enough.

 

[D&D]

This is a very interesting question. So what does make someone/anyone popular on a suicide forum?

As others have said already - more-less the same things that make someone/anyone popular in a real life, and/or any other virtual place where people congregate. Witt, sense of humor, inclusive, non-judgmental views, etc. In a word - agreeableness. As tendency to voice harsher aspects of life in an unvarnished manner, challenge widely accepted views, being brutally honest, is bound to render one less popular or unpopular.

That said, I think that there might be another aspect of 'popularity on SS.' What I mean is that it might be less about 'popularity' but more about being heard. Responded to. Interacted with. As most of us have little, if any, such opportunities outside SS, it becomes even more important. Which, at least in part, is why there are sometimes openly provocative threads - negative attention is still attention. Engaging in an argument, especially with gusto, makes one feel, at least for a little while, an active participant. Whose opinion matters. To someone/group of people. Sufficiently to exchange views. Even heated views. Especially those.

Another aspect is having a popular culture in common ... recognizable colloquialisms, relatable jokes with reference to the familiar movies, songs, et. Those that, like yours truly, have little or none of those, tend to come across as somewhat stiff or aloof even if they are nothing like that.

 

[GentleJerk]

Might be stupid, but for some reason a member's username and profile pictures seem to play a huge role for me... uniqueness? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk i feel like it shouldn't be a popularity contest but thats always the way things are anywhere you go.

It's like fictional characters... memorable main characters and shenanigans vs forgettable background characters. tbh it's annoying. Of course what they say plays a huge role too.

 

[callme]

Yes. And you claim you're not tapped into your feminine side..

He's a Mr. Hyde.