What keeps you going?

[deadgirlahsatan]

My kitty kat.

 

[weird_wannabe]

Nice things like having a big cup of coffee or playing games. Cute animal videos on youtube. Taking a shower with flower scented body wash. Seeing beautiful sky and my favorite weather after I wake up. I love paying attention to small thing, they cheer me up a lot.
It took me around four months to get used to this but it's so worth it, I feel a lot better about myself and it feels productive. Productive in a sense that I can see positives in normal everyday things, have better mood and work harder towards goals. It made me finally understand I can make big changes by making small baby steps. It gives me strength to push through difficulties and reminds myself that there are good things and I can turn my life around

 

[muffin222]

Curiosity about how my life could unfold, mostly

 

[Mustkeyknow]

My parents.

 

[Fedrea]

SS and my second order of SN sitting in my cupboard.

The first order looks dodgy coz it comes in a bag, so I ordered a properly sealed bottled.

First one from a ukranian seller?

I am surprised that no one has mentioned spite. I have been used, abused, abandoned, taken advantaged of, thrown to the wayside, etc. and to finally kill myself will bring nothing but joy and blessings to all those who have wronged me. The mere thought of this is enough to feel like I need to "win" somehow. I can't let them have the last laugh.

Though as I get older, the fire that fuels this anger and spitefulness burns colder and colder. There have been times where it was reduced to embers and I felt utterly vanquished and defeated. It was an incredibly surreal feeling; one where I literally did not care about anything anymore. The people I hated the most could torture me and I wouldnt even fight back. My ego, the last bit of self preservation and dignity, was almost irreparably shattered. Scary times.

Although indeed I can be "too angry to die" sometimes, it is still just one factor. There's quite a few others that may have been mentioned before like ambivalence, fear, laziness, etc. I just wanted to mention this.

Wow, good post, that was SO true for me in the past. I thought no way am i letting the bastards who harmed me win. I knew a few of them would be delighted if they heard of my death. But the latest one has been too much for me.

 

[strand]

My mother, and hope that things will get better, at least for me.

 

[Squiddy]

Family, friends, anime, food, my dog etc. But it's getting harder every single day

 

[Tabbyql]

Hoping for a last minute miracle eg; winning the lottery so can go private for my mental health. Not wanting to leave my dogs, But after what as happened this week, I've lost all hope.

 

[CozyTime]

I'm curious what the future will hold for the people I love and the ones I will come to love in the future.

Cheesy, corny etc. but love really is the biggest motivation for me.

 

[Lame Old Duke]

After loosing my dog over Easter this year my girlfriend could see how much I was struggling. Drinking a full bottle of whiskey everyday for weeks I was going downhill fast.

Then one day my girlfriend came home with a pup and he's been keeping me going every day I have constant training to do.

 

[AllReturnsToNothing]

Mostly just cowardliness at this point. That is to say, once I finally get to cbt I might fuck it up and instead of leaving everything behind like I want to I wake up in the hospital not just fucked up mentally, but physically and financially as well. Plus I just don't wanna have any conversation that would come after that with my family since the whole point of dying was banking on NOT having to explain myself to my family lol.

That and junk food. Video games too I guess when I actually have the energy to play them.

 

[AfraidofEverything]

My mother, niece and spoiled dog. I wouldn't want to hurt them. I still like to make my art and get lost in some games, so that helps. I admit I don't look forward to the future much though.

 

[essic.]

what keeps me going is i'm scared of getting hell because of killing myself. And also, ending myself because of these people who hurt me isn't worth it. They doing good in their life, moving on while me dead..i mean, maybe i can fix my life even tho sometimes depression won't let me do that..

 

[Mitokondrium]

I think habit. Considering I have suffered all my life I am really used to feeling miserable.

 

[Abgrundanziehung]

There are a lot of small things that I try and get some small enjoyment out of like trying new food, the love of my pets, improving things in my life in some small way. I keep giving myself another milestone I should meet to make things easier for those I leave behind, especially my ex who won't have much left after I'm gone. Trying to help him make enough progress in his life so he doesn't end up on the streets without me like he has before.

 

[After The End]

I'm not broke, yet.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Stubbornness. You are never defeated until you give up. However, everyone gives up eventually. But I'm just a bloody minded belligerent sod.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Drugs, alcohol, and debauchery keep me going. Anything that's fun and kills me faster.

Oh the irony.

 

[faraway_beach]

I feel obligated to vote in November.

 

[Mustkeyknow]

Also I wanna see the new Batman film, and listen to the new Lana del rey album.

 

[Nymph]

Laziness to go through with CTBing lol also I have a bunny and I don't want to leave him alone cause my parents won't care about him

 

[Abgrundanziehung]

I feel obligated to vote in November.

Me too!

 

[Aurora.]

Cheesecake and my dad

 

[Mustkeyknow]

Oh and those Korean street food videos on YouTube, I'm addicted to them.

 

[mathieu]

The thought of all my working out paying off and looking good on the beach in summer (I'm in Southern Hemisphere).

 

[Passerby]

My 18 month old son, he's just my everything.