Joey

Joey

Enlightened
Jun 14, 2020
1,432
Everyday when I wake up seems to be a blessing. There's days when it's hard and you just don't want to get out of bed but it's good to push through sometimes.

What motivates you to keep moving forward?
 
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KLUF

KLUF

Member
Jun 16, 2020
70
Everyday when I wake up seems to be a blessing.
Wow, first time I see such optimism here.
I kinda don't have a purpose to live but don't want or afraid to die either. I think my family keeps me going. Hopefully I'll find something to live for while they are around. If I were living alone I'd have CTB-ed by now.
 
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Alucard

Alucard

Wizard
Feb 8, 2019
606
Illusion.
 
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D

Deleted member 19276

Wizard
Jun 28, 2020
682
For now... Probably SS. :( Nothing else that much...
 
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N

No_more

Member
May 5, 2019
84
My cat and not wanting to be homeless.
 
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so tired or manic

so tired or manic

Arcanist
Jun 12, 2020
462
My animals. They need me. As sick as my one cat is even a no-kill shelter would put him down because the cost to keep him healthy would outweigh the costs of keeping healthier animals off the streets. He's not on death's door by any means and always wants cuddles and tunes in very well on when I'm having a bad time.

maybe some day I'll learn to live for myself. maybe some day I'll give into the suicidal thoughts where no one will try to "save" me. I don't particularly care about hypotheticals in this case and would rather just keep plugging along working towards goals that I may or may not succeed at reaching.
 
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Woodnote

Woodnote

Goodbye
Oct 23, 2019
277
My dogs. :heart:
 
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puppy9

puppy9

au revoir
Jun 13, 2019
1,238
SS and my second order of SN sitting in my cupboard.

The first order looks dodgy coz it comes in a bag, so I ordered a properly sealed bottled.
 
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pickajack

pickajack

Student
Jul 17, 2020
115
Being in water
 
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Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
I not sure actually, but I think hope, hope that things could turn better, however bad the odds. It's perhaps delusional, but it keeps me going for now.
 
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Abgrundanziehung

Abgrundanziehung

or Abi for short
Jun 24, 2020
216
My five pets that I know ex will struggle to properly take care of when I'm gone. Not that he's incompetent, but four of them are rabbits and anyone who owns bunnies knows they are not low maintenance, lol.
 
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misha

misha

Member
Jul 22, 2020
11
i laid my head on my moms chest today while she patted my head and i felt alright for a few minutes
 
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RRH

RRH

Student
Jan 5, 2019
105
Insufficient cognitive ability to properly plan my exit. I wish I was still manic..
 
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grungeCat

grungeCat

Awkward & weird
Jul 5, 2020
1,110
My cats lol kappa. They're one of the last things I still care about.
 
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ocd is bad

ocd is bad

-
Jun 26, 2020
206
I'm worried that my suicide would hurt others. I guess I'm trapped between not wanting to live and being worried about dying.
 
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L

lissyb

Member
Jul 21, 2020
11
Everyday when I wake up seems to be a blessing. There's days when it's hard and you just don't want to get out of bed but it's good to push through sometimes.

What motivates you to keep moving forward?
The only thing that keeps me alive is that I still haven't mustered enough courage to end my life. I hope to do it before September.
(sorry for my English, I can't speak or write it well)
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
Making the playlists I'll be uploading shortly. Kind of anxious about finishing them because I don't know what to do now
 
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GonnaGoBye

GonnaGoBye

Will die soon
Jun 30, 2020
109
A little bit of hope. I guess.
 
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D

draw a circle

out.
Apr 10, 2020
300
Routine, probably. Would set off alarm bells in people's head if I stopped waking up like usual. Also, a date with my friend this Friday, though lately it's not as fun as it used to be. I just got a bunch of manga shipped to my house and I need to read it. Little things.
 
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ByeByeBaby

ByeByeBaby

Sad Girl Gang.
Jul 17, 2020
2
My boyfriend. He's the kindest person I've ever met and I'm trying to become someone worthy of having such a sweetheart. Also my mother. Especially worried about my mother since a lot of people have been really shitty and cruel to her and I worry about who will keep her safe from that kind of stuff if I'm not around.

Also my dog cries when I leave the house so I can only imagine how he'd react to me not being around anymore. I actually had a dream once about my mother opening up the door to the house and instead of being greeted by my happy dog like she always is, all she can hear is him upstairs howling and crying. Then she goes upstairs to find me no longer alive so her and my dog just sit there and cry hopelessly together while they wait for someone to take my body away. I woke up from the dream shaking and sweating with tears in my eyes and went to go hug my dog and tell him I'm so sorry.

Ever since then I've been trying to keep pushing, although there are days where I feel like I can't do it. Hence me being here.
 
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N

Nothing

New Member
Jun 21, 2018
4
I don't even know, I think I lack of ways and strenght to do it.
 
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Deleted member 17949

Deleted member 17949

Visionary
May 9, 2020
2,238
Anime, food, games and the fact that I'm supposed to be studying or something
 
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I_love_to_bake

I_love_to_bake

Student
Feb 27, 2020
167
My love for my family
 
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hershberger

hershberger

Student
Dec 28, 2019
129
Family. Nothing else.
 
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Weightoftheworld

Weightoftheworld

Let me burn.
Apr 19, 2020
258
Not leaving my kids alone.
 
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pickajack

pickajack

Student
Jul 17, 2020
115
Picking and eating fuit
 
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I_love_to_bake

I_love_to_bake

Student
Feb 27, 2020
167
Also, the wonderful supportive people on this site :)
 
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a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
A love of the mystery
 
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R

runningonempty

Member
Jul 16, 2020
14
I am surprised that no one has mentioned spite. I have been used, abused, abandoned, taken advantaged of, thrown to the wayside, etc. and to finally kill myself will bring nothing but joy and blessings to all those who have wronged me. The mere thought of this is enough to feel like I need to "win" somehow. I can't let them have the last laugh.

Though as I get older, the fire that fuels this anger and spitefulness burns colder and colder. There have been times where it was reduced to embers and I felt utterly vanquished and defeated. It was an incredibly surreal feeling; one where I literally did not care about anything anymore. The people I hated the most could torture me and I wouldnt even fight back. My ego, the last bit of self preservation and dignity, was almost irreparably shattered. Scary times.

Although indeed I can be "too angry to die" sometimes, it is still just one factor. There's quite a few others that may have been mentioned before like ambivalence, fear, laziness, etc. I just wanted to mention this.
 
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