What judgments do you think people will make about you after ctb?

[Volatile]

I often wonder. I guess i'd be called selfish.

 

[saffron]

I think for me everyone would've seen it coming.
My family but most of all my mum will be incredibly upset, I don't think she'll ever get over it.
She's always said to me that losing a child is one of her worst nightmares.

 

[ephemeral]

This is one aspect that really changed for me: I do no longer care. It's not my problem.

Before, it was a major obstacle. I was not ready, I think.

 

[Tiburcio]

I get furious only thinking in it.

 

[shattered dreams]

I personally couldn't care less what anyone else will think. As long as I am gone, that is all that matters.

 

[Volatile]

I get furious only thinking in it.

It sucks we can't defend ourselves against it because we'll be dead.

 

[BurningLights]

My dad has always said he'll never forgive, my mum's lost 2 sons already, one through suicide. My immediate family would probably be pissed off, my half siblings would probably understand. My half sister even said to me she wouldn't be surprised if I did it. But if anyone is truly surprised then it's on them, I show all the signs, I'm dead inside and surely that shows.

 

[Threads]

I don't give a fuck what people think.

 

[Volatile]

I don't give a fuck what people think.

How do I develop that ability?

 

[Threads]

How do I develop that ability?

It's not an ability, young padawan.

It is a way of life.

Start living radically. Break your comfort zone to fucking pieces.

 

[Luke]

How do I develop that ability?

Try asking a few what do they think. You'll stop caring quickly.

 

[Deleted_9cKnXB34QG]

I don't care.
My mom will be sad for a while and then move on. And if not, well she should have used contraception, I didn't ask for this life and I'm not gonna torture myself for the sake of her peace of mind.

 

[skyofAuroras]

I think I would have all sorts of reactions. Some would think in selfish and a coward. Those who I really knew me wouldn't be surprised. The few that knew the best would probably feel sorry for me. Of course some people would be upset.

 

[skitliv]

Selfish, mentally ill, irrational, whatever, I think part of the suicide process is to learn to not care what will be said of you when you're gone, something that sadly I haven't reached yet

 

[Jon86]

I honestly think most would understand. Some, mostly the people who I haven't been in contact with in years would possibly see me as selfish etc. but i'm so far removed from these people it doesn't matter.

The only people I really care about are my family and 2 or 3 close friends I grew up with but never see anymore.

 

[DeadManWalking]

As my depression drags on and on, I've become pretty unpleasant to be around. And the older you get, the less sympathy people have for people with mental illness. I'm pretty confident my parents and close friends will be devastated, and there's nothing I can really do about that, but for everyone else, I think there'd be a mix of "I'm glad he's not in pain anymore" and "Serves him right, what a selfish asshole".

However, I'm not doing this for other people's sympathy, or because of other people. I'm doing it because there isn't a future for me. I continue to consider and think about how my decision will affect the few people I love and care about.

 

[Gray Wounds]

Most will be happy about it.
But it'll be tough for those who tried, for those two who tried to pull me away from this.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

No one knows me. I have no family or friends. I'll just be rotting meat in the forest or at a beach. I'm trying to set it up so that my body doesn't disturb anyone who might otherwise have to clean up after me. This is the big blessing of being a nomad pariah. No guilt trips. No messages to have to leave behind.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

As my depression drags on and on, I've become pretty unpleasant to be around. And the older you get, the less sympathy people have for people with mental illness. ... I'm doing it because there isn't a future for me.

Agreed x 100. Apathy and disdain are the rewards we get for following the instruction to hold on.

 

[MortDeVivre]

My mother (whom I live with and who is one of the reasons behind my decision) might not understand. My father (who used to abuse my mother verbally before they separated) will probably think I made the right choice. My extended family (whom I almost never interact with) won't think much about it. Same for my high school acquaintances, if they even learn about it (every tie I had with them ended up being cut one way or another). I give everyone one month tops before they forget about it.

 

[Final Escape]

They will think the usual stuff. She was batshit crazy, I don't think it will surprise most people that know me. They will be like, yea she was a troubled pathetic soul lol! It was for the best. I think some people will probably be relieved and celebrating. Because I'm keeping them in limbo and people hate that shit. They want u to either be doing good or stop having to worry about u being in that limbo place where they know u aren't doing good and u might kill yourself. That makes people uncomfortable.

 

[Argo]

The wrong judgements, because this is what they're taught.

 

[mattwitt]

I want everyone to think I'm a selfish fucking asshole who really liked disco music and Chinese take out!

 

[typx]

That I should be taken seriously for once in my life.

 

[thetwilightzone]

Don't care. They told me that "The world owes you nothing" so therefore I owe them nothing, that includes my life. Don't care how devastated or traumatized they are, they deserve every bit of suffering.

 

[nuclearsnake]

I think my family will be too busy blaming and fighting each other to judge me. I hope everyone else will understand and accept my decision.

 

[Volatile]

I think my family will be too busy blaming and fighting each other to judge me. I hope everyone else will understand and accept my decision.

How many in your family do you think would be at your funeral?

 

[nuclearsnake]

How many in your family do you think would be at your funeral?

Quite a few, probably. Some out of obligation though. I wouldn't be surprised if a few of them end up yelling at each other and start making accusations. My family is nutso.

 

[Imaginos]

None, since I literally don't know anyone. My parents, my brother, and a few estranged relatives, are the only people alive who are aware of my existence. Out of those few, I highly doubt any of them would have any harsh judgements for me after my death/suicide. My parents world be sad, obviously, but I know for a fact that, beneath their grief, they'd understand. My brother would more than likely be indifferent I'd imagine since he and I have never been very close. At all. Our relationship has always been neutral porridge, basically, so I'm skeptical whether he'd have strong feelings about it either way. As far as relatives are concerned, it's hard to say. If it's anything though, I'll probably end up being showered with posthumous sympathy & understanding, while all the bitter condemnation would be saved for my mother, since all my relatives (and even my father, to some extent) were, and still are as far as I know, utterly convinced that she's the sole reason for how "shitty" my life was and, consequently, the reason why I killed myself. My death would just get lost in the shuffle of that whole bullshit, essentially.

 

[maktubler]

Some would call me selfish.

Many will say I suffered all my life

All will agree that I was mentally ill.

Being mentally ill is the blanket excuse for suicide.