Discussion What is your toxic trait?

[Leonard_Bangley39]

for me, i guess my most toxic trait would be that deep down, i like to make people worry. I'll just turn off my phone and not respond to people's messages. disappear for a while. make people wonder where i went. i like thinking about them wondering where i am, what happened to me, etc. i feel bad because i know it's a bad thing, to want to hurt people like that by making them worry for me. it's a terrible thing but i just can't help wanting people to worry for me

 

[Mrs. T-800]

I don't show my true self, I guess? Or the depths of it? And that creates a bad cycle of poor self-image.
I don't outwardly say my whole true feelings, I just skirt around things or suppress any desire to change or address things that disagree with me, and I am pretty regressed due to childhood trauma, so I have trouble "womaning up" and acting my age sometimes. Sometimes that brings about selfishness too; I get stubborn and set in not bringing up what's bothering me, so then that makes some situation all about me because I won't speak up and I bring everything down.
I don't show my true self, I guess? Or the depths of it? And that creates a bad cycle of poor self-image.
I don't outwardly say my whole true feelings, I just skirt around things or suppress any desire to change or address things that disagree with me, and I am pretty regressed due to childhood trauma, so I have trouble "womaning up" and acting my age sometimes. Sometimes that brings about selfishness too; I get stubborn and set in not bringing up what's bothering me, so then that makes some situation all about me because I won't speak up and I bring everything down.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

The irrational level of jealousy I experience. If I like a guy I'll get jealous over him even having a normal conversation with another girl. I get jealous to a very unhealthy extent over the littlest most meaningless things, and it feels like it drives me to insanity.

 

[Wojaczek]

jealousy & bitterness

 

[dustoff]

Resentment

 

[SASU-KE]

I don't show my true self, I guess? Or the depths of it? And that creates a bad cycle of poor self-image.
I don't outwardly say my whole true feelings, I just skirt around things or suppress any desire to change or address things that disagree with me, and I am pretty regressed due to childhood trauma, so I have trouble "womaning up" and acting my age sometimes. Sometimes that brings about selfishness too; I get stubborn and set in not bringing up what's bothering me, so then that makes some situation all about me because I won't speak up and I bring everything down.
I don't show my true self, I guess? Or the depths of it? And that creates a bad cycle of poor self-image.
I don't outwardly say my whole true feelings, I just skirt around things or suppress any desire to change or address things that disagree with me, and I am pretty regressed due to childhood trauma, so I have trouble "womaning up" and acting my age sometimes. Sometimes that brings about selfishness too; I get stubborn and set in not bringing up what's bothering me, so then that makes some situation all about me because I won't speak up and I bring everything down.

And also you double posted ^^^^. That's another one.

 

[Mrs. T-800]

And also you double posted ^^^^. That's another one.

Oh, gosh, that's so embarrassing. Probably I meant to copy and paste something else. I'm glad you can laugh at this, everyone in need of an upper today, please look and point and laugh. I don't have the heart to fix it now LOL.

 

[Forveleth]

Probably a lack of compassion. I used to have so much love, empathy, and understanding for every single person. Then I got so little of it back from everyone in my life that I am all empty. I sound like a grumpy old curmudgeon now. I do not reply to a lot of posts because I know my answers would not be nice.

 

[raincandy_v]

I am overly emotional. I feel like I kind of bleed the lines of menhera/jirai-kei.

If i get attached to someone, I don't want to really share them. I want to talk to them all the time or spend time with them every day.

I can understand spending time with "other friends" with a few things. Being bi, if I am dating a guy I don't want him around other girls. If I date a girl, I get really uncomfy with them around anyone I don't know. I tend to make things from what would be nothing. Being too kind I will think my partner is flirting with someone, or if they are giving small responses (busy or anything else) I immediately go into a "you hate me, what did I do wrong why are you upset with me?" mentality.

Being needy some see it as a "bonus" or a "positive" until they're really around it and then they get annoyed quickly and usually leave.

 

[certified_idiot]

Probably my avoidance of other people. I need support because of my disabilities, but I can't let myself get close enough to other people to form a true support system. I'm trying to take care of myself, but my disorder is progressive, so I won't be able to at some point. I'm running on fumes. I'm going to have to die eventually, but I'd rather have it be quick and soon than slow and late.

 

[camusfan_ig]

Envy and being too caught up in the past, both the good and bad

 

[Heavy_Metals117]

I want friends and connections but I think I don't care enough about other people to do that. Or maybe it seems that way because I suck at talking to people/understanding them, both verbally if I'm unfamiliar with their voice, and emotionally. Usually I'll just sit there paralyzed with fear and confusion if talked to or in a situation where I could talk first, like a short circuit. Or I won't say anything because I truly just don't know what to say. I rarely talk with my voice unless I'm already close to someone, which I haven't been in a very long time. If I talk to someone it's usually about myself because that's what I know, and I'm not used to talking to other people or about them, even online. This is the first space online where I haven't just lurked and have actively participated because I'm trying to change. Also I think I lie by accident a lot because I have a horrible memory, so that sucks too.

 

[Heavy_Metals117]

i relate to all of this so much. i haven't met another person that worries about lying by accident too. it makes it so hard to put yourself out there

Me neither, it seems like a unique problem and I have no idea why it happens. Maybe it's diet or vitamin deficiency or something else just wrong with the brain. What do you think?

 

[violetforever]

being avoidant

 

[Pluto]

 

[virdzina]

Vulnerable narcissism

 

[TwistedNightmares]

Holding grudges.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Selfishness. I rarely do things for other people.

 

[Passenger4224]

The giant L that hovers over my head everywhere I go

 

[rainwillneverstop]

too many

 

[byec560]

I genuinely wish I knew because something isn't working for me. Laziness? Neuroticism? I legitimately don't know what my problem is but clearly people don't like me for a reason.

 

[somethingisntreal]

...do I need to pull out the entire list?

For starters, I'm full of envy, resentment and bitterness for almost everyone around me, I can't stand when things don't go my way, I've got a superiority complex and believe that all the people in my life are imbeciles, I've got severe anger issues and I'm always whining about my non existent problems.

 

[Ashu]

Indecisiveness.

 

[SackOfCrap445]

Vulnerable narcissism

same here

 

[Bitch With An Apple]

I'm parasitic and subconsciously very manipulative. To the point where I have to check and ask myself whether what I'm doing or saying at any given point in time is a manipulative act. I often only realize it after the fact.

People who know me irl think I'm unusually sincere and it couldn't be further from the truth. (The key word there is unusually. While I think there are unusually sincere people, if it seems too perfect it's probably off. Sincerity by its definition often indicates presenting something that is imperfect imo.)

I don't like manipulating or parasitizing for its own sake, though. I think if I didn't have to do it to survive and it wasn't a very easy survival strategy for me I wouldn't do it. I assume some people enjoy it and get a power trip from it. I think I can firmly say I don't fit in that category. It's just how I stay alive and comfortable. Doesn't make the effects of what I do any less destructive though, nor does it make me any less hostile, nor does it change the fact that the right thing to do is to either stop existing or face discomfort without depending on others (and fighting to maintain that dependency).

 

[LosingFeathers]

I can be very jealous. And I often distance myself from friends. Sometimes because I'm jealous

 

[BradGuy123]

I worry a lot and imagine worst case scenarios

 

[CoureDAmour]

im stubborn and have a hard time taking no for an answer

 

[Lost Magic]

my toxic trait is keeping myself alive all these fking years. Basically, false hope.

 

[CrawlingInMySkin]

Manipulation. Constantly. I don't even realize I'm doing it most of the time.