Help What is your opinion on people who want this site shut down?

[disappearingquietly]

As I write this, I'm mostly thinking of parents who have lost their kids, after those kids used methods on this site to commit suicide. I know that losing a child is the most painful thing that a parent could go through. I understand that they're in pain. But see, I do have an opinion on the parents, that may be controversial. Here it is. I don't believe that the site deserves most of the blame, honestly. I believe that the parent is also at fault here. They seem to forget that if their child was a minor, it was their responsibility to safeguard the child online. Not the site's. Sorry if that touches on a sensitive subject. That's just my honest opinion.

TLDR: This site doesn't deserve full blame for the death of a child. The parents also deserve blame for not safeguarding the child online.

 

[ThisIsMe1357]

And if this website got shut down, who exactly would benefit from that?

This website does not revolve around children but exists primarily to help adults, a lot of them older, with long-term chronic pain, illnesses or suffering. Such a move would only take certain solutions from certain people who might no longer get help using any other means. And it would only contribute to their already sometimes hellish situation.

So my opinion on similar people depends. Some of them might be hurt (and I can somewhat understand that) while they still do not have a right to shut down discussion about anything non criminal, but some of them remind me of fundamentalists who regularly try to ban porn or contraception, and only these would be the kind of people I could not stand.

 

[avalonisburning]

Life just makes more sense when you have a dragon to slay; a target to direct all of the blame and your anger and contempt at. The activists (and not the people who have lost children, to be clear) should be thanking us, because they hate and want to take us down so much that we play a part in their lives having something resembling meaning.

 

[Hotsackage]

That chick is whacked

 

[cursedbynature64]

This site in the only place on the Internet where people don't give the same generic and unhelpful hotlines and advice. And asking for help comes with a major risk of getting sent to a ward, which will make me want to die even more!

Here I can talk about it as an actual choice I can make, and not just be told that I have to live with the suffering.

People who want this site closed would be taking away such a safe space from a lot of vulnerable people. I have seen just as many people on this site decide to live as I have seen people who choose not to.

 

[BlackDoor]

I think that a lot of people just want to bury things they consider immoral or unsightly, not realizing this worldview means that nothing will ever be resolved. They might prefer that you hide all of your bad feelings, do what they do, live as they live, pretend as they pretend, to preserve some misguided notion of harmony. Even if what is inside you is not harmonious, unhappy, sad, tortured. They would prefer to not see it or acknowledge its existence. I think that if they cared they would read and try to understand why people are in this position rather than shut them up, and shut them down. So... In some ways I think they're selfish, because they would rather quiet dissonant voices for their own peace of mind and comfort, disregarding the people behind the stories, and their experiences.

 

[enduringwinter]

Well my parents would definitely shut this site down. But it would not be due to grief. They are very practical people, good at processing loss and aren't sentimental at all, especially not about me. It will literally be just because of moral righteousness. I have seen my mom done similar things before.

 

[SteamaHorns]

They irritate me because they're more concerned about maintaining their own feelings and personal beliefs of the world, and holding a positive view of this website would most likely destroy or drastically alter said views in a way that terrifies them. The problem is the fact that they end up disregarding the well-being of those who come to this site to satisfy the things that they're desperate for. Ironically this site made my days more bearable by simply just reading the posts of other people whom I could relate to in varying degrees.

With that said though, I can't fully hate or fault them for the same reasons why they irritate me. But I do wish that this site was more accurately represented online. The videos that I've watched about this site seem very biased and intentionally fabricated which genuinely confuses me.

 

[VoidedExistence]

Fuck those people. This site doesn't help with their goals but it is not the issue either. Fight the root cause.

 

[destinationlosangel]

As the son of a narcissist, I think I am qualified to answer this question lol. If I ctb, I know my dad will try to look for something or the other to blame when in reality he is the reason i want to ctb. Without this site, I dont think I'd have been able to hold on for so long

 

[maniac116]

As I write this, I'm mostly thinking of parents who have lost their kids, after those kids used methods on this site to commit suicide. I know that losing a child is the most painful thing that a parent could go through. I understand that they're in pain. But see, I do have an opinion on the parents, that may be controversial. Here it is. I don't believe that the site deserves most of the blame, honestly. I believe that the parent is also at fault here. They seem to forget that if their child was a minor, it was their responsibility to safeguard the child online. Not the site's. Sorry if that touches on a sensitive subject. That's just my honest opinion.

TLDR: This site doesn't deserve full blame for the death of a child. The parents also deserve blame for not safeguarding the child online.

If this site was called "happy people party" & we talked about the same subject then possibly it would go on unnoticed at least for a while.
People in this electronic world are in everybody's else's business. We judge each other & want other to think as we do. It's really fucked up up. I go to AA meetings where people are free to say whatever, without judgement or penalty. If it was an online forum there would be assholes trolling & being predators.
People have a first amendment right to say what they want in the US but that right is circumvented by assholes who judge us which pressures us to not say what we truly feel.
This site needs to exist & has every right to exist. The fact that so many people use this site is evidence enough that there's a need for forums like this.

 

[vesisika]

This site has its own perks and perils and now I'm only focusing on the problems to understand a bit what some people think. Here are some problems that I (my opinion) think exist:

One of the problems are not working age restrictions. Children can get access here as easily as for any porn site. And parents can't always be blocking and following every move their child does and if they don't give any privacy to their offspring the children would probably end up in here wanting to die bc their parents are overly restrictive. Like, if you buy alcohol it's also the shop's responsibility to check the ID, it wouldn't work if parents were just told that it's their responsibility to prohibit their kids' alcohol use.

And why children being in here is a problem? Kids are very prone to influence and they are not ready to read and watch all the stuff that this place has to offer.

Here are people who are 110% sure they want to kill themselves and then they come in here to search for tips and support. Here are also people that are like, ~50% sure they want to kill themselves and then slowly they get addicted to this site (I mean I'm addicted lol) and months later they are also 110% sure they want to go. But no one can really say if it's really the person's own will, or has this forum passively changed their mind. For example, it's proven that group therapy for depressed people (here are many of us in here ) doesn't work well, bc the people start just being depressed together and they worsen their own mood. It happens also online.

Making friends. People do make friends in here, and then they die. The ones left behind suffer.

Stuff happening behind the scenes. Like the links in dms and offers to buy some stuff in purpose of ctb, you can't be sure what and where you are buying and if it's "safe" or not. If desperate people buy something and end up being paralyzed or brain dead we won't hear from them and they can't warn us.

And no, I'm not gonna tell this forum how to solve this bc I don't know, but I just listed some problems I have thought about.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

When it comes to suicide, people will blame everyone but themselves. Your child would likely have only signed up here if they were already suicidal to begin with. The existence of This site isn't going to make a difference here. These parents will blame anyone for their child ctbing but themselves. If your kid is suicidal, there is a good chance that you may have contributed to it. Even if you didn't, it is your job as their parent to monitor their internet use, to make sure that they feel safe enough to come to you if anything is wrong, and to ensure that they have the proper mental health support needed.

Their arguments about shutting this place down because "think of the kids" reminds me of the arguments people make when it comes to the topic of online porn. I'm sorry, but parents need to stop blaming everyone else for their own failings.

People love to use scapegoats rather than actually discuss and tackle the issues going on around them. I'm tired of this stupid blame game bullshit. If you want to prevent the suicide of other children so badly, then how about you start advocating for easier access to mental health services for children, for more social programs for families, stop harassing and spreading hate towards queer children, start heightening the standards when it comes to parenting (e.g. such as trying to get parents to decrease the use of positive punishment), and just start trying to respect children and treat them like actual human-beings? Why blame this site? Children aren't even allowed on here and minors caught using this site are quickly reported and banned. These people act as though we are grooming children on a site they aren't even allowed to be on and blame us for encouraging them to commit suicide, something that is both frowned upon and isn't even allowed on here.

 

[possessed]

Life just makes more sense when you have a dragon to slay; a target to direct all of the blame and your anger and contempt at. The activists (and not the people who have lost children, to be clear) should be thanking us, because they hate and want to take us down so much that we play a part in their lives having something resembling meaning.

Well said!

 

[Zhendou]

I believe that they are genuinely trying to help people since they lost a loved one too. However, the site is a symptom of the problem, not the cause. People already were suicidal before they stumbled across this site. They need to focus on the root cause if they want to help people, not use this site as a scapegoat. If they shut this site down, for sure more sites will pop up. Suicide is a symptom of a greater problem.

 

[Trying To Live]

I've been reading on this website for years.
In the beginning i was looking for information how to kill myself. I didn't find a lot of other sources.

It's good that something like SS excists.

 

[Serial Experi Pain]

I think it's incredibly selfish.

People who want to CTB would find a way whether this site existed or not.

For me, This site has shown me there are people who understand how I feel when no one else does/has, and t has actually helped in that way. I lurked for a long time before joining, and then I lurked for a long time before commenting. I just started to become a bit more social and started speaking up. I don't know many places I actually ever would talk about many of the things I would other than here... even trivial and mundane topics. I hate that there are so many people who feel like I do, or even worse, but I would hate for them to lose a lifeline, because that's what this is for many people... Not just a source for people to CTB, but even when it is, it's at least a place for those to find people who won't judge them, be cruel, tell them that they're selfish, tell them they'll hurt so and so, and will understand that they fought as hard as they could, and they're likely making the hardest decision they ever could, and they will be supported here first, and likely find people who will show them love 'til the end.

 

[pumpkins334234]

my parents could literally be blamed for my brother's suicide as they left him with a total stranger that continually assaulted him during his childhood, but they took almost no responsibility. i'm wary of parents of underage children who complain about this site providing suicide methods but who never want to discuss their part in their child's suicide. (obviously many parents have nothing to do with their child CTB, it's outside factors, but ykwim)

 

[Manfrotto99]

They need and are looking for something to blame, this site just offers an easy target to avoid the real reasons whatever they are. If a young person wants to cbt they will find a way and means and use the net to help them regardless.