tomz323
Walking to the bus stop
- Mar 29, 2019
- 367
Not that this is too major. However... I was just wondering as (so I've heard) men end up ctb at a higher percentage then women. Why is that I wonder?
RainAndSadness
Administrator
- Jun 12, 2018
- 2,135
I'm female. But transgender, if that's important.
Regarding your question... According to Wikipedia, more women attempt suicide than men. But men succeed in more cases because they use 'hard' suicide methods. That means they use a gun or noose. Women on the other hand use soft methods like poison, which has a higher chance of failing. That's the reason why men are more successful than women. Women have a higher suicide attempt rate but men definitely are more successful in their attempts.
It's a very interesting subject: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_differences_in_suicide
Wikipedia said:
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tomz323
Walking to the bus stop
- Mar 29, 2019
- 367
No its not Important, I am hoping people vote on which gender they feel feel most comfortable as. Yes I've heard that women attempt more, but men are more successful. Are men more determined when they CTB maybe?
RainAndSadness
Administrator
- Jun 12, 2018
- 2,135
I guess. Maybe it's their nature that makes them pick harder methods. I couldn't find any explanation for this phenomenon. That's all I could find:
Wikipedia said:
It's really difficult to make any statements about that without some kind of scientifc elaboration. But I'm one of these women who want to leave with a soft suicide method. I know I could never jump, shoot or hang myself. I prefer taking a drug that makes me fall asleep on my bed, so i can softly float away into the darkness. That's my explanation, maybe some male members can elaborate on their reasons for their 'hard' suicide method.
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tomz323
Walking to the bus stop
- Mar 29, 2019
- 367
I know that when, or if I go. I want to one way trip. As a man I wouldn't mind a hard method.
Misanthrope
Mage
- Oct 23, 2018
- 557
I have a few opinions on why, but can't prove any of them just use my anecdotal experience. I think men bottle things up more. But it can go beyond even that to engaging in such self-delusion everything is alright even if dying inside. Everything is fine even if you want to stab your co-workers on a regular basis. Then beat the guy to death with a tire iron who is parked across two spaces like a jackass. Its entirely fine when you can't sleep for days eaten alive by an anxiety you can't put your finger on. Much less coffee idiot. My mattress is shit, so buy a new mattress then get angry that the mattress cost so much and the salesman is trying to shill something you did not even god damn ask for. Or the neighbour's lights keep coming on at night because of stupid stray cats, so ranting at the prick tomorrow seems entirely justified.
On an emotional level, this internal rage and despair is not processed to its source. It either becomes external blame that has you wanting to burn the world or internal rage that has you wanting to burn yourself. Because you are a piece of absolute shit, can't even hold down a job or be the everything to everyone you should be at all times. Showing anything less is weakness. You are just shy of impossible standards enforced on yourself that no one else would expect of you and consider purely masochistic, but you do and that is the standard you measure by. That makes you an utter embarrassment to the human species when you fall short of that. I should absolutely die as I make myself sick at my failure to live up to myself.
So it builds up like unstable chemicals blending into an explosive mixture with no vent valve. If you do talk about it as a man to other men they agree with you, your co workers are shit no wonder you are angry and mattress salesmen are also pricks. Can you believe the prices these days? Your neighbour is also inconsiderate and where are all these strays coming from anyway? I hear cats are going missing. Want to go play pool? Maybe go to the gym? She has been gone a while now maybe it is time to consider moving on? Or how about go out and get laid mate, might cheer you up I am sure she would want you to be happy. It is not like you are cheating she is gone.
Whereas women seem way more apt at reading beneath the surface of what is not being said. Also when they support one another it seems a lot more nurturing and explorative moving into the emotionally cathartic. I was grateful to my female friends when I lost my fiance as they are the ones who helped me process it most of all. Some men have no female friends though. They helped me separate out the volatile mix of chemicals and twist the valve release before exploding. Took me away from self flagellation pointing out you are not god you cannot control every variable in existence. Sometimes just bad shit happens and that is not your fault.
For me, my depression is sometimes pure unadulterated rage at myself. Even my grief at my current situation twists into the harm I will do to my loved ones and the rage returns as does the hate of myself and the frustration of the helplessness. So violence towards what pisses me off makes horrifically violent methods seem entirely doable. The pain of it becomes irrelevant because maybe on some level I fucking deserve it and explosive anger does not hesitate.
Just my thoughts.
What is meant "Other Genders"? I just don't know much about this, what other genders exist?
I never wanted to change gender, but I think I understand very well people who cann't live in the body that they have from birth and want to change it. I have a very strong body dysmorphic disorder (I can't look in the mirror for example) but in my case I always dreamed of replacing the human body with an artificial cybernetic body or living in general without a physical body in virtual reality or simulation - this was considered evolution, the goal of human existence as a biological species. I also have a strange sexual orientation - I like robots. This is a strange form of mental disorder, I was always afraid to tell psychiatrists about it.
I never wanted to change gender, but I think I understand very well people who cann't live in the body that they have from birth and want to change it. I have a very strong body dysmorphic disorder (I can't look in the mirror for example) but in my case I always dreamed of replacing the human body with an artificial cybernetic body or living in general without a physical body in virtual reality or simulation - this was considered evolution, the goal of human existence as a biological species. I also have a strange sexual orientation - I like robots. This is a strange form of mental disorder, I was always afraid to tell psychiatrists about it.
Superfluous
...
- Mar 16, 2019
- 973
IsItReallyParanoia
Mrs. Mathers
- May 28, 2019
- 20
maka
this is for you, mi cuervito 𓇢𓆸
- Apr 23, 2019
- 160
OmgDudeWhatNoWay
Member
- May 27, 2019
- 81
ExitTheDay
We fight to live or live to die
- May 26, 2019
- 336
Male, but I wish I didn't have a gender at all... meaning I wish I was never born in the first place...
Testosterone plays a big role in men going through with it, just the way most of us are wired.
That being said women can be just as decided. It's just about statistics.
That being said women can be just as decided. It's just about statistics.
Jen Erik
-
- Oct 12, 2018
- 637
wanttodie
Enlightened
- Apr 19, 2018
- 1,802
tomz323
Walking to the bus stop
- Mar 29, 2019
- 367
Apparently, that was added as to not course offence to people who don't want to be known as a man or women which is growing in popularity in 2019 and so on.
I agree, and yes "Men" apparently just need to harden the fuck up. I haven't found any support groups aimed to help (specifically) suicidal dudes out, its hard for men to find meaning in today's world. We're not hunter gathers anymore right?
Wait I don't get this. Can you explain?
Many people like this idea that gender and sex are different so they can identify (gender) as whatever they feel like to make them happy.
However the other side would argue that this is a ridiculous idea which in no way helps society as a whole because it would mean that men and women can just go out and claim to be something that biologically they aren't. Where would that stop is the question.
I am surprised you haven't heard of this. It's a pretty heavy debate these days. Especially when those same people suddenly want to be adressed as the person they made up (and even want to make it punishable by law). It's quite interesting actually.
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LastFlowers
the haru that can read
- Apr 27, 2019
- 2,170
Yes I've heard of this. Definitely interesting.
Though I don't really fit the trend as I'm a female who would rather use a harsher method. But that could be because of my type of issues, appearance related.
I would like my face and body to be destroyed. I also worry about anyone seeing me afterwards, or an open casket against my wishes. So I would prefer to take that off the table if in my power to do so.
I also have a fear of anything that's not quick, so a gun or instant death by jumping would be ideal.
I know I would panic and SI would kick in if I swallowed a poison or had a rope around my neck. I just want it to be bang!-done. I don't want to feel myself lose oxygen.
I can't be sure what I would lean towards if I had a completely different set of reasons to ctb.
Something tells me I would still want to jump, given my personality.
But if I had a whole different set of issues, well I wouldn't really be me to begin with.
According to "Every Cradle is a Grave" by Sarah Parry, I believe, she stated women commiting suicide by poison is a overwhelming suicide-related occurance in regions around China.
Bulletwbttrflywings
My soul is awakened... and I’m f*cked
- May 29, 2019
- 244
My ex husband works st a county prison and sees suicide on a regular basis inside those walls. Men are more likely to be violent in their approach...
Rex2019
Can't wait for the summer
- Feb 23, 2019
- 128
Well generally speaking there are more men online on most forums than women anyway. Just like there will be more people from NA than anywhere else. So I don't think the poll is going to add any info. Though with that being said, I had read a similar study before. Personally I think it's because men take more risks generally. They are more action prone and take drastic actions whereas women mostly stay in line. This is why even when women kill themselves, research shows they highly favor pills or something like that whereas men go for guns. Maybe this is also why there are more outliers among men too. Howeve i think it is important to note that ctb does not correlate with happiness. That is, just because women don't kill themselves, that doesn't mean women are happier than men.
Man with all those silly social expectations. We somehow have to take care of everyone. We somehow have to be emotionless and unfaze by everything. We have to be good in everything. If not we are loser somehow? The macho bs. Its truly disgusting at some point. Just because we have a dick. We have to do everything? What kind of primate logic is that?
Superfluous
...
- Mar 16, 2019
- 973
In the old days before political correctness was invented, when referring to someone of unknown gender, then the male 3rd person singular pronoun he was always used. Later, it was deemed sexist to assume gender and so the term he/she was popularised.
However, even today, many men still use he, then realise that's not pc and add she, almost as an afterthought. If you've seen Life of Brian, Monty Python used this to great comedic effect.
What many men don't realise is that the 3rd person plural pronoun they can be used to replace the cumbersome he/she construct in all situations. Women generally know this as they were the ones who fought (and are still fighting) for gender equality.
I came across this in a recent comedy stand-up show by James Acaster. If anyone's interested, it's currently available on netflix. The series of shows is called Repertoire, and the specific sketch is in the 3rd show.
it seems to me that one confuses the concept of physical gender and sexual orientation?
in fact, a rather strange topic to discuss. for example, I am an orientation asexual, but a man by biological sex.
(It is quite possible that my orientation is related to the fact that there are problems in the body with hormones. but it's too late to check. Yes, and never wanted, I do not understand the cultivation of sex in modern society.)
it is impossible to understand the problems of those who live with a disorder of the biological body.
in fact, a rather strange topic to discuss. for example, I am an orientation asexual, but a man by biological sex.
(It is quite possible that my orientation is related to the fact that there are problems in the body with hormones. but it's too late to check. Yes, and never wanted, I do not understand the cultivation of sex in modern society.)
it is impossible to understand the problems of those who live with a disorder of the biological body.
Lush_nova
Self Destruct Activated
- May 16, 2019
- 105
What you have described there I can understand, I have burning hatred for the world, raging anger yet when talking to people I smile and say it's all fine. Because it is, I think or so I believe,
yet I am female. But then I don't have a female support net work, I grew up surrounded by males my mother had no females friends, and the world I worked in over the past few years was male dominated. Where men could not be seen as weak, many had issues but couldn't talk about it. I feel this attitude has rubbed off on me. As a women, I'm clueless how a women would deal with it and instead let the rage burn inside whilst I wear a mask and see all as normal
Where I live I know of 2 support groups for males only and one for either sex, nothing just for women
But biologically, a person is born either male or female (physiologically, regardless of their feelings and sensations): I mean that while it is not technically possible to change bodies it all meaningless, this is a kind of self-deception. How do they manage to feel something that they are not?
I heard about this many times but knew little about genders, did not know exactly who they consider themselves. For me, the sex of the body, the race and its gender are not important at all: important what characteristics of this body, how healthy it is, what its abilities are. Society cann't allow people the right and freedom to dispose of their own bodies - similarly as in the case of CTB. Also, people are particularly sensitive to everything related to sex and orientation - this is because most of the society live by instincts like animals.
I could live in the same way and in the body of female and in the body of male, it does not matter.
RainAndSadness
Administrator
- Jun 12, 2018
- 2,135
You both perfectly described the concept of toxic masculinity. I don't intend to make this political but that's what this term is about. A lot of people - especially those who oppose feminism - mistake toxic masculinity as a concept that describes masculinity itself as toxic. But that's not what this term is about. Toxic masculinity means certain traits that are seen as masculine by society are toxic - for example, the fact that men can't show emotions and cry in public. The fact that men aren't allowed to be depressed and sad - and as you perfectly described - need to "harden the fuck up". The fact that we barely talk about the struggles and pain of men. The fact that men need to be strong and calculated. But for some reason, when feminists talk about these issues, we get shit for that. That's something I will never understand. We literally invented a concept to describe unfair expectations of men by society and people purposely misrepresent that.
Anyway, to all men out there: your suffering is valid. I say that as someone who identifies as female.
lynn14
Member
- Apr 21, 2019
- 72
Biological woman here. Estrogen has a naturally anti-depressant effect. That is why most women who CTB are in their 40's,, the protective effects of female hormones from depression are mostly gone at that point. Postpartum and perimenopause, and even PMS I'm convinced are risk factors for deppression and even suicide, because of the low hormones levels, unfortunately. I fall into the low estrogen category at this point in my life and I can attest to the power of hormones over a woman's mind.
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To answer your question about how do they feel something they are not..I don't know. I also am on the anti-LGBT side as far as legal implications, pro nouns, ect... go.
I still believe it's a form of a disorder. Now when I say the word disorder those people will probably jump out of their seats ready to attack me, but I say that with no disrespect. If acting like something you are not fixes it for you then you go ahead and do that. It's fine for me. The problem starts when they expect others to recognize that.
Hey I like what you wrote, but unfortunately we both know that is not what the majority of people nowadays understand under that term. Neither have I seen any feminists that use the term in that sense.
When we hear toxic masculinity we think about the stories where women throw acid onto guys their pants because they were 'manspreading' (seriously what is up with these ridiculous terms the left keeps coming up with) or things like the Gilette ad where men get told to be nice to women and not vocally abuse them on the streets as if we all do and that is what defines us.
Neither does the wikipedia link (or anything when I search for the term for that matter) refer to anything your saying. If only it was about that.
