Discussion What is your addiction?

[waterbottleman]

Day dreaming about a passionate romantic relationship that I'll never get to experience.

More and more those thoughts are being replaced with the warm embrace of death and nothingness.

So pretty much my thoughts violently oscillate between a life full of passion and love with a woman vs acknowledging the reality that I'll never get to experience that and thereby welcoming death.

 

[snowman626]

Day dreaming about a passionate romantic relationship that I'll never get to experience.

More and more those thoughts are being replaced with the warm embrace of death and nothingness.

So pretty much my thoughts violently oscillate between a life full of passion and love with a woman vs acknowledging the reality that I'll never get to experience that and thereby welcoming death.

yeah thats me too. constantly laying in my bed day dreaming about waking up next to a beautiful woman and her smiling face and looking into her beautiful eyes, kissing her good morning which leads to passionate morning love making sex. i constantly watch gf roleplaying asmr videos and its driving me mad that none of that can be real

 

[Mizzmini45]

yeah thats me too. constantly laying in my bed day dreaming about waking up next to a beautiful woman and her smiling face and looking into her beautiful eyes, kissing her good morning which leads to passionate morning love making sex. i constantly watch gf roleplaying asmr videos and its driving me mad that none of that can be real

That's me but I daydream about a loving guy I can give that to and can give it back and appreciate it

 

[waterbottleman]

yeah thats me too. constantly laying in my bed day dreaming about waking up next to a beautiful woman and her smiling face and looking into her beautiful eyes, kissing her good morning which leads to passionate morning love making sex. i constantly watch gf roleplaying asmr videos and its driving me mad that none of that can be real

I like sex just like most people, but I rarely ever day dream about sex.

Theres always been a big nurturing part of my personality, so i day dream a lot about simple affectionate gestures like holding hands, cuddling, her resting her head on my shoulder, me holding her around her waist, me cooking her dinner and giving her flowers, watching the sunset together....

Sad that I've lived for almost 3 decades and I haven't ever been given the opportunity to do some of those things. Oh well, at least I have dome some of the things I mentioned......10 years ago.

Man I really want to ctb, it's soul crushing how undesirable I am =(

 

[Green Destiny]

Porn, Youtube and Fanfic reading.

 

[Mizzmini45]

I like sex just like most people, but I rarely ever day dream about sex.

Theres always been a big nurturing part of my personality, so i day dream a lot about simple affectionate gestures like holding hands, cuddling, her resting her head on my shoulder, me holding her around her waist, me cooking her dinner and giving her flowers, watching the sunset together....

Sad that I've lived for almost 3 decades and I haven't ever been given the opportunity to do some of those things. Oh well, at least I have dome some of the things I mentioned......10 years ago.

Man I really want to ctb, it's soul crushing how undesirable I am =(

I understand to well. Yup I like sex to but I always wanted sex with like soft feeling and kinda genuine gentle love involved with some emotional intimacy. I never got it. It was always like rough or rushed uncaring. I'm a nurturing and sensitive , affectionate female. Im a empath. I also like pleasing him but though things that made him happy and he felt loved especially if he really appreciate it. It just made me feel good he felt good. We could return that kinda unselfish love to each other. I just wish I could feel that love feeling once before i die. That kinda of relationship is all I ever wanted but could never find. I never met the right person I guess.Its a personality type. I kinda don't even like to think about it because it hurts to much to accept it will probably never happen. I use to daydream about this type of relationship since I was a teenager. I even wrote stories on it( no one ever read, just wrote them for me)

 

[4eyebiped]

I will go with intimacy. It is a far grander spectrum than just sex. I can get lost in it all day. I have always been a highly affectionate and sexual guy with a great desire to explore and pleasure someone, both mentally and physically. There is so much power to and rewards from imparting pleasure to someone else. The downside is, as you all might have guessed, is that it requires something which is almost always absent.

 

[waterbottleman]

I understand. Yup I like sex to but I always wanted sex with like soft feeling and kinda genuine gentle love involved. I never got it. It was always like rough or rushed uncaring. I'm a nurturing and sensitive , affectionate female. I also like pleasing him but though things that made him happy and he felt loved especially if he really appreciate it. It just made me feel good he felt good. We could return that kinda unselfish love to each other. I just wish I could feel that love feeling once before i die. That kinda of relationship is all I ever wanted but could never find. I never met the right person I guess.Its a personality type. I kinda don't even like to think about it because it hurts to much to accept it will probably never happen.

Yeah I know the feeling of how much it sucks to want something so badly but have no hope of ever getting it.

I'm amazed by how few guys are interested in foreplay. I hear a lot of women talk about how guys are really short on the foreplay part and immediately just want to jump the gun and go straight to sex/penetration.

For me foreplay is the best part, I love exploring and kissing virtually every part of her body to the point that I am worshipping just how beautiful I think she is.

I remember in high school the only time I've ever had a girlfriend, I'd go to her house and we'd makeout and I'd perform foreplay on her body for hours upon hours. Sad how I didn't know at the time that 10 years later I still haven't got to experience that kind of passion and ecstasy again.

If only I had a woman who I could take care of, listen to, and do all the things I've described and she'd actually love me back and be attracted to me. If I could just find a lady like that for me in my life I would feel fulfilled and have the energy to take on any challenge in my life with full confidence and determination.

Unfortunately ctb is my destiny, not a life of passion with a woman who I would love and take care of.

 

[HannahB]

I think hardship.. everytime life is normal I cant stand it. Going to work every day or coming home and just being a normal human makes me so uncomfortable. I feel like im always waiting for something to go wrong because it's all I know how to deal with. I cant handle being content and thats why I don't want to live.

 

[HereToday]

Love. I've never received any, not even from my parents. Maybe that's why I crave it so much. Maybe that's why I allowed myself to be in an abusive relationship for so long, because he told me he loved me. I was addicted to those words. Love is the only thing that would give my life meaning.

 

[CyanideSoup]

Binge eating, spending money I shouldn't be, sex and porn. I hate all of them but when I feel at my lowest they're my go to coping mechanisms.

 

[snowman626]

Yeah I know the feeling of how much it sucks to want something so badly but have no hope of ever getting it.

I'm amazed by how few guys are interested in foreplay. I hear a lot of women talk about how guys are really short on the foreplay part and immediately just want to jump the gun and go straight to sex/penetration.

For me foreplay is the best part, I love exploring and kissing virtually every part of her body to the point that I am worshipping just how beautiful I think she is.

I remember in high school the only time I've ever had a girlfriend, I'd go to her house and we'd makeout and I'd perform foreplay on her body for hours upon hours. Sad how I didn't know at the time that 10 years later I still haven't got to experience that kind of passion and ecstasy again.

If only I had a woman who I could take care of, listen to, and do all the things I've described and she'd actually love me back and be attracted to me. If I could just find a lady like that for me in my life I would feel fulfilled and have the energy to take on any challenge in my life with full confidence and determination.

Unfortunately ctb is my destiny, not a life of passion with a woman who I would love and take care of.

Yeah man i think about the foreplay stuff all the time, ive never had it, im 33 and never had a gf and virgin. only ever got a bj from a prostitute one time.

I recently started paying a girl for cuddling, just holding hands, putting her head on my chest and wrapping my arms around her, its the type of intimacy i want, i just wish it was real and not paid for.

I really want to kiss a girl while looking into her eyes and feeling her breath exhaling on my face. Then to worship every part of her body with my mouth. Ive daydreamt about that daily for 33yrs, im so thirsty and desperate, my only chance of ever experiencing that is via sex worker.. but unfortunately it would be artificial and not real love making.

Imagine love making with a girl you are deep in love with and the girl love you back equally, that is something that would make me not want to ctb if i have that.

 

[waterbottleman]

Yeah man i think about the foreplay stuff all the time, ive never had it, im 33 and never had a gf and virgin. only ever got a bj from a prostitute one time.

I recently started paying a girl for cuddling, just holding hands, putting her head on my chest and wrapping my arms around her, its the type of intimacy i want, i just wish it was real and not paid for.

I really want to kiss a girl while looking into her eyes and feeling her breath exhaling on my face. Then to worship every part of her body with my mouth. Ive daydreamt about that daily for 33yrs, im so thirsty and desperate, my only chance of ever experiencing that is via sex worker.. but unfortunately it would be artificial and not real love making.

Imagine love making with a girl you are deep in love with and the girl love you back equally, that is something that would make me not want to ctb if i have that.

I'm a slightly younger version of you, except I pulled the trigger a week ago and lost my virginity to a sex worker. I'm actually thinking about flying down again this week and doing it again. I have plenty of money to burn through before I ctb so why the hell not.

I wonder how many guys are in similar positions as us, were so unloved and undesired that we end up going suicidal and ctbing over it. you never really hear about that being the cause but you can only go so long in your life being totally undesirable before your soul dies from the realization that literally not a single soul fancies you in that way which most people take for granted since they attract people so easily.

 

[BabyYoda]

I like sex just like most people, but I rarely ever day dream about sex.

Theres always been a big nurturing part of my personality, so i day dream a lot about simple affectionate gestures like holding hands, cuddling, her resting her head on my shoulder, me holding her around her waist, me cooking her dinner and giving her flowers, watching the sunset together....

Sad that I've lived for almost 3 decades and I haven't ever been given the opportunity to do some of those things. Oh well, at least I have dome some of the things I mentioned......10 years ago.

Man I really want to ctb, it's soul crushing how undesirable I am =(

That's a major reason for me to CTB as well. So when I get tired of sex toys and porn, I'll finally do it. I literally can't stop thinking of how unattractive (that was an understatement btw) I am and how I'm never going to find love. I think I was just meant for 2D characters that's all. College is just worse for people like me.

 

[Flume]

Love. I've never received any, not even from my parents. Maybe that's why I crave it so much. Maybe that's why I allowed myself to be in an abusive relationship for so long, because he told me he loved me. I was addicted to those words. Love is the only thing that would give my life meaning.

Yeah I feel thosse words I really do, if I had a loving partner I wouldn't leave this earth.

 

[miseryh8scompany]

Few years ago: working out, my work and sex...productive stuff. Now that I'm a useless cripple.... benzos, phenibut, booze, porn, trolling, music..whatever distracts me from my agonizing, fucking life

 

[PeaceisallIwishfor]

Binging and purging :( I have to find another coping mechanism until I CTB because I am beginning to look like death and the insides of my mouth are tore up, plus I don't want my last moments of memory to be puke, I'm just awaiting my N. It used to be fun once a week but when you've been a thing it multiple times per day everyday it is absolute hell and so disgusting when you look at the reality of it. I would never put someone through this.

 

[properchap]

I'm dependant on cocaine. Even though it has been a big factor in ruining my life, I still use regularly.

 

[Moonicide]

Love, coffee, food, and the internet.