Venting what is wrong with me

[ilied]

why am i so fucking awkward, why can't i just be normal, why can't i take a joke for a joke. why can't my brain just short circuit and no longer think. I don't get people and people don't get that cause im so used to pretending that neither them nor i know who or what the fuck im supposed to be. i always feel like everyone hates me but i tell myself im just overthinking, but then when people are mean to me all the built up fear of being hated rushes out. am i hated or not i dont even know. and i don't care anymore i just don't want to exist.

 

[sugarb]

why am i so fucking awkward, why can't i just be normal, why can't i take a joke for a joke. why can't my brain just short circuit and no longer think. I don't get people and people don't get that cause im so used to pretending that neither them nor i know who or what the fuck im supposed to be. i always feel like everyone hates me but i tell myself im just overthinking, but then when people are mean to me all the built up fear of being hated rushes out. am i hated or not i dont even know. and i don't care anymore i just don't want to exist.

Might be a disorder. the tism, maybe. Lots of suicidal autists/BPD/schizophrenics. Regardless, don't kick yourself over it. Have you been tested for anything?

 

[GuessWhosBack]

If it's something you have no control over, taking steps to understand it better could be your path to healing. Please consider speaking with a psychologist about your issues. Some social skills can be learned.