Despair
Every time I think it's finally going to get a little bit better, there's more chaos caused by selfish people out there.
my entire nervous system is exhausted repeatedly.
i wish i could just ctb right now, but cannot afford a private mailbox yet to order SN.
People's greed with charging astronomical excessive rent puts me and millions of others under daily stress and fear of homelessness. it feels like terror to me with my PTSD.
But that's capitalism in USA especially...
why should i ever have children just so they can suffer too? No way, and i refuse to ever procreate life in this horrifyingly cruel society. No family, no love, nothing.
I've tried all my life to find a nice man, and all I find are either users or abusers. There are very few friends that actually care, there's no love, almost no joy, no goodness here.
America just has a brutal, heartless, ruthless system that couldn't care less if kind or innocent suffer, those in power do NOTHING TO HELP.
please help me die so i can finally have some joy in my existence beyond just a few minutes occasionally.
It's only Going to get worse for me, as I get older and more physically limited, with no resources. I'm tired of suffering and struggling to survive for what?
just More suffering and struggling the next week?!? God's experiment is too difficult.
What's the point of perfecting my soul, it's plenty good enough right now as it is.
I don't belong in this horrible place, like many of us here just hoping to escape.
That's my only hope in life, to die.