Discussion What is SaSu's thoughts on the "male loneliness epidemic?"

[TheWorld'sLeftovers]

I want to know more about this "male loneliness epidemic" and what SaSu's thoughts on it are.
Since suicide is related to loneliness and depression, and since SaSu has such a wide variety of audience, this should be a good discussion.

There are more and more males feeling lonelier, not to mention the suicide rates.
Thoughts?

 

[come to dust]

I'd be interested to know whether this male loneliness trait only applies to straight men or gay men as well.

Straight men often don't value male-male relationships much, and pursue women at the expense of building these relationships. So I would imagine this loneliness is more likely to be an issue for them.

 

[anne neum]

i believe everyone is lonely nowadays. women just have more communities to share it with and established narratives to process those emotions

 

[Brown-Jacket Revy]

i believe everyone is lonely nowadays. women just have more communities to share it with and established narratives to process those emotions

I haven't found this to be true at all.

I mean, maybe most women do have friends, but from my experience, only being able to get my socialization from online communities, the women that I relate to and share sentiments with are in a microscopic sized community compared to the online manosphere, which is massive and has seeped into every online space imaginable.

It's almost impossible for me to find like-minded women (who aren't mothers or don't have men centered in their lives).

 

[SexyIncél]

I researched & wrote some thoughts on this. Hopefully I have time to post brief notes soon

 

[lwlaiet8887]

People won't acknowledge the reality behind this, but it's because the barrier to entry of being a successful/accepted man in society is much higher than it is being a women. It's not a matter of fairness but reality, men are disposable women are not. It's what I call the "social ticket" (how much innate value do you have to others based on looks and status) The average and even the below average women will have dozens of suitors whilst if you're a below average man you're going to have next to no options and if you do get a romantic partner then there's a good chance they may end up leaving you for someone better. What does this mean? men of this value have no reason to participate in society hence they're more lonely. It's not even just that, it's because people don't want to be friends with low value men and if they're your friends there's a good chance you'll end up being the butt of the joke. I have experienced being both a man of high value and low value, in highshool I was very tall for my age and my only good quality is my exceptionally deep voice, because of this I got a lot of attention from women and people treated me well. Now as an adult I'm below average height, extremely skinny (I'm not kidding I can't even wear clothes normally), have a deeper voice (I sound like some kind of sophisticated news anchor) I have a handsome face, it gets the attention of women but when they look at me physically they don't like what they see hence the consistent coyness I've experienced my whole adult life. It's like, if only you were this much better looking they'd actually desire you. I also get treated much worse by people in general although I've always experienced this due to my unconventional appearance.


Another reason is male socialization, we tend to be a lot more independent minded and less socially inclined like most women leading to a decrease in relationships formed.

 

[duwangJEff]

I'm somewhat new, but I am one of the males in the loneliness epidemic. I don't feel like going into detail right now, but it is quite soul crushing, and I wouldn't be remotely suicidal now if I had more social opportunities

 

[EpistemicSloth]

I'm admittedly not up to speed on this narrative, but I believe modern civilization is dramatically increasing loneliness for people in general, regardless of sex or gender. As for more loneliness among males, there may be some societal aspect, but there also could to some degree be a biological aspect. In all cultures and in all of history, the archetypal 'hermit' is almost always male. Lone wolves are typically male. So although I can't comment on the specifics of the narrative, I can nonetheless claim that such phenomena is extremely multifaceted.

 

[void kitty]

I have seen and read so much about this I'm clearly not gonna invalidate men's depression and loneliness and suicide rates are not real, they're very real and valid, then it's just not men that are lonely or depressed or suicidal/dying all the genders are lonely/depressed or suicidal whether be be it men/women/trans it is still only "Men loneliness epidemic"
They have to work on themselves seek help and support they need instead of going about complaining about male loneliness as if it's impending someone is to be blamed for it.

 

[ggetout33]

This male loneliness epidemic is one of, if not the biggest gripes I have with being AMAB. In my eyes men just aren't liked as much compared to women. I'm not very qualified to say why this is the case. But being a (autistic) male and the associations that come with it can be a heavy thing to bare. It's so bad that in the past I've wondered if I'm trans, but almost all of the issues I have are social, and the gender roles associated with men. Transitioning never really appealed to me because yeah I would look more feminine, I would also lose my physical strength, and paint a massive target on my back by being visibly trans.

Though I do have massive respect for trans people who know this but transition anyways.

 

[Celerity]

As a woman, I can really only speak personally to my own loneliness, which seems to be rampant nowadays for both sexes.

I would be interested in hearing what percentage of these men care about their isolation. I'm not trying to downplay or dismiss the problem, only trying to understand it. Many of the news pieces I've read about this take several logical leaps from polls showing few social ties or friends to "all these loners feel terrible, and they would like our help".

A few of my male coworkers would qualify. Many are very young, awkward, and just coming into their own. Some of them have characteristics that affect their self-image, I imagine, such as being extremely overweight or having an intellectual disability.

More than a few, however, do not express any interest in getting to know anybody. Even people who've worked alongside them for years know nothing about them. One kid is clearly autistic and has a bitch fit when things don't go the way he would predict. He talks but has a very limited range of interests. I think the dude has been near 100% the same from age 14 to 28. There is no character development there and no interest in obtaining it. He clocks in, works, talks to people as little as he can get away with, clocks out, and goes home.

So, when I hear stuff like this, I have to wonder where a guy like him would fall in the "male loneliness epidemic".

 

[casual_existence]

Male friendships in the past were supposedly way deeper. Like they would hold hands n be all physical with each other much like female friendships now.
If you do that now tho then that makes you gay.

Maybe we need to go back to that.
I also would like to add that anyone who can't imagine being physical with their male friends (if male) really needs to examine where this belief came from. The human mind is way more malleable than one may think.

 

[migimortis]

I think over exposure to advertising/propaganda has had a negative impact on both genders, but with men in particular, I think it's amplified the masculine idea of "winner takes all", where guys who aren't of a certain high status are relegated to a life of loneliness due in part to the man being indoctrinated to believe he is worthless, but also his peers and potential mates being indoctrinated to believe the same about him too. I don't actually believe this is a new phenomenon, the movie fight club was released in 1999 and is a cult classic to this day due to how relevant it's topics are. I think what has happened is that the issues touched upon in that movie have only gotten worse, all while mainstream society continues to overwhelmingly focus on women's issues, leaving a lot of guys to feel like they are being left behind by the system.

I'm sure there is plenty I've missed however.

 

[sserafim]

it's made up by incels

Facts

 

[4am]

it's made up by incels