everyday I think about this - what is it that you (me) want in life, in a realistic way of-course.
Going to a place a night which I can call home, a place where beings coexists in harmony, who have love for each other, a place where I feel welcome, and where I can just be me. One word: Companionship/Togetherness. "we togther, that is all that is important, no matter what goes wrong in the world, we have someone"
I now understand why being lockup in confinement is some of the hardest punishments that one can endure.
Call me an ass, but lockup/confinement would've been perfectly fine with me.
Nobody wasting my eardrums blabbing.
Just lay there, do nothing.
Nobody to rape me.
Nobody to assault me.
The only problem with it are the ever so curious little fucking inmates that toss you a food tray and go awww look at the solitary confinement bitch.
"Good morning I'm your NUUUURSE can I get attention?"
"Go away."
"Wanna talk to me?"
"GO. AWAY."
One more of you ugly little bitches pretending to care?
Hah.
Just like your fucking guards.
And well. Then there's observation.
Oh are you still sarcastically "acting out" your perception of life and everyone in it? You know if anyone saw that they'd just put you back with the druggies and fuck ups and rapists and say here pop a pill! Pretend like it's allllll better now.
Yeah. Yeah right.
Can I take your piiiicture?
Why do you hate us so much?
Because none of you stopped my mother from abusing us and none of you have ever given a fuck and then said well, enjoy being raped then!
A place in peace and harmony. Ha. Ha ha. I tried to explain this to Matthew herrman and many people several times over again. I want my living space CLEAN, QUIET, ORDERLY… I want it treated with RESPECT. I WANT RESPECT. It is my SANCTUARY… and you've done all you could to make messes and destroy it and demand to fuck. I clean it up, and you destroy it again. I give up, and you blame me instead of doing it yourself so you can stare at me and continue lying and refusing to acknowledge that I am a PERSON not an OBJECT. That I have AUTONOMY but you don't believe in autonomy, you believe in
RAPE.