What is holding you back?

[overcomingfear]

Fear of jumping, can't be bothered to leave via better method, gas looks like the best choice. SN is pretty good too, don't know how obtainable, maybe I'll look into it

Availability of reliable methods, high chances of being found, certainty SI will kick in.

Do it in a forest maybe. Always available

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

The promise I made to the only person I care about plus there's the off chance that maybe something good can happen for me in the next three years.

 

[noname223]

As long as i am doing financially well i won`t ctb. But when my parents die i probably execute my plans. I have time till they die to find ways how to earn money and there is the hope that maybe with some luck something good happens that prevents my death.So the ratio of pain/ pleasure is not bad enough in order to ctb.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i don't want to hurt my little sister.
i'm still waiting to get the things i need to ctb.
there's still some projects i want to finish, shows i want to watch, places i want to visit one last time, etc.

 

[CarbonMonoxide]

I say it's the shame of abandoning my family but that's not the actual reason. To be honest, it's the hope that I can find a way back to God's grace and earn a place in His perfect eternal world.

 

[Deathbydemo]

My son. He is all I have left.

 

[TheSkyIsBlue]

I'm scared of failing again and not knowing what is after death

 

[sirensoftitan]

Giving my youngest children an opportunity to remember me before I CTB.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

suicide takes effort but sitting here being alive is pretty passive, and I am lazy

 

[muffin222]

I'm still not 100% sure, and I refuse to take action until I am

 

[Deafsn0w]

Can't afford N

 

[adios]

For me, it's fear of what comes after. I'm currently struggling in being agnostic, and while I don't really believe in hell, the fear ingrained in me from the past has me convinced I will go there for CTB'ing.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

@adios
I am convinced that suicide is a gift from the most high. Some people can't be helped with anything short of a miracle if they are to remain living. Thing is, miracles rely on the mind-over-matter principle that the hopeless simply do not have.

 

[Chameleons31]

I think what holds me back is my willpower

 

[adios]

@adios
I am convinced that suicide is a gift from the most high. Some people can't be helped with anything short of a miracle if they are to remain living. Thing is, miracles rely on the mind-over-matter principle that the hopeless simply do not have.

That's an interesting way of thinking about it!

 

[Mixo]

I just need a good window of time alone at home so I can go through with it peacefully and without interruption. I'm kind of chained to someone 24/7 so as soon as I'm alone I'm going.

 

[Yakamoz]

Fear of failing

 

[FuneralCry]

The fact that suicide is difficult, the fear of failing ctb and limited access to methods. I'm just so tired of it all and I wish that it's easier to leave. It really should be. We have already suffered enough in life so we deserve the option of a peaceful, painless exit.

 

[jodes2]

My gf

 

[Hope:-)]

Not got the very last of the meds. Very concerned about the pain. Wishing I had N. Who knows if I'll be able to go through with it.

 

[Ixadavt]

My only friend has daughter going into surgery in November. She'll be in the hospital for 3 or 4 days. I agreed to sit with her other 3 kids in case anything comes up and they need wheels. Also, this same friend bought a house so my brother and his gf wouldn't be homeless. His gf put up most of the down payment so that's being considered rent up front. But the house payment still has to be made and my friend can't really afford the extra bill, so until I come up with the 5200$...should be about the same time she comes out of hospital. Then she can charge rent to offset the house payment and her daughter will be safe he and my obligations will have been met.
Don't think I'll have to plaster on a fake smile and plow through one more bullshit thanksgiving. Or any of the other holidays that will follow...

What do you think will happen if God does exist?

I was raised in the church. Didn't have a choice so I dove into study. My conclusion, from reading his book and studying his history and his present: god is an asshole.
Worship me or suffer. Is that an ultimatum? I've never cared the cost, I always go against an ultimatum. Probably a terrible habit but it's a compulsion I can't control.

 

[thedaywillcome]

I get confused about the idea of eternal nothingness.

This confusion creates fear.

Its weird You die anyway and I wouldnt to live forever neither!

The idea of ,,forever" I dont understand. Maybe this could change in the future.

But I believe on the long run I will be totally tired of this life, so I will prefere sleep forever.

 

[outatime_85]

1. A part of me still wonders if I can write a happy ending to my story.

2. I have some unfinished business.

3. There are certain items I still want on hand even if I do not check-out right away.

Besides the above, there are not many other reasons. I know no one will shed any tears when I am gone, be it my way or death himself personally strikes me down.

 

[nico1420]

I am afraid of hurting people, and as crazy as it may sound, i am afraid of becoming a spirit and regret what i did...

 

[Sick of it all]

SI and the fact that I have a ton 9f paperwork to do before I CTB.

 

[Cryptonite]

E-mails. 16 organizations around the world will receive a letter that they need to do something about my disease, Scheuermann's disease.

 

[je.suis.prêt]

• I'm not completely sure that I want to. Part of me wants to keep going, and part of me feels they've got nothing to live for.

• Fear of becoming a ghost and regretting it

• Fear of the aftermath left for the few people who have cared about me

 

[Hurt]

Family. Friends. My dog. College. My job. Movies, music and videogames (escapism)

 

[Regen]

My mother would be destroyed. My children too. I feel bad leaving my dog behind. I'd rather suffer than her.

And then there's that damn survival instinct. I've really tried several times over the last few decades, but it's damn hard.

Right now I think I'm going to live on for the next few years for my mom and the kids. But I'm sure I'll go later in life, as I've been depressed and suicidal since I was a teenager and just nothing seriously improves. Until then, I'm just kind of enduring this crappy life and trying the best I can for my kids.

 

[Airie]

Physical pain, my fear of vomiting, and the fear of the unknown (even if nothing comes after death- like if nothing comes after death me, then me right now feels bad for missing out on the possibilities that life could have brought). I think one day I will follow through.