Cry
Member
- Sep 2, 2020
- 27
Nephthys22
Member
- Aug 16, 2020
- 34
Honestly? The fact that SN turns you blue.
I don't know to be honest. I swear there is an entity holding me back 
I'm not kidding. It's not fear of death or anything. It's like someone or something will not let me do it. At first I thought it was just survival instinct or something but it turns out something is stopping me when I start trying. Like will make it go out of my mind and divert me.
I'm not kidding. It's not fear of death or anything. It's like someone or something will not let me do it. At first I thought it was just survival instinct or something but it turns out something is stopping me when I start trying. Like will make it go out of my mind and divert me.
dysfunctional
Arcanist
- Oct 26, 2018
- 459
Survival instinct, hurting friends family, and being too depressed to make preparations and execute.
The last time I had the SN solution in a cup in my hand, I had visions of my mom's face at my funeral. I had never seen such intense sadness and heartache. That stopped me right away and I just cried for the rest of the day.
BPD Barbie
Visionary
- Dec 1, 2019
- 2,359
Basically this. I keep imaging how my mother will feel and it kills me. But at some point I need to put myself first.
Panna
Enlightened
- Aug 31, 2020
- 1,005
I plan to visit the spot where my hero offed himself in the hopes of potentially meeting someone like me, or finding a sign, if not, well, I have a nice plan ready to go.
Last edited:
dysfunctional
Arcanist
- Oct 26, 2018
- 459
Just looked him up... He killed a bunch of innocent people. Do you admire him for that?
Cry
Member
- Sep 2, 2020
- 27
no idea I thought it was another person, well we are not the ones to judge but well a shame for those innocent people
RIP victims
Panna
Enlightened
- Aug 31, 2020
- 1,005
Not exactly for that, I admire him for not just offing himself and instead doing something with his depression. It's sad that he took his frustration and his loneliness out in such a way, but before he went there, he went above and beyond to try and better himself, by going out, trying to meet people, through hope. Theres a whole chapter in his manifesto, where he gives up just drinking wine, and hiding away in his room wasting his life away with wow. Thats the part that I really took away. I definitely don't support innocents dying, but I definitely believe that trying to fight your bad feelings before you go is very important. It's hard to explain exactly why I like him so much, I apologize.
Last edited:
My mother, who is over 80, has gone through so many difficulties in this life and does not deserve to have the disgust of seeing a failed child end as I probably will.
My family, parents wife and daughter.. With all of them, I should have been more careful taking decisions and should have been successfull in my life
Abbitt
Another Person
- Sep 2, 2020
- 3
Not wanting to hurt loved ones and fear of failing
OmgDudeWhatNoWay
Member
- May 27, 2019
- 81
I'm in a limbo. Life is currently in... an emotional stasis? Nothing bad or good is happening, but it's because I haven't been putting in any work to improve my life. I'm existing, not living. I just don't care anymore, at all.
The only thing I live for at this moment are just binging on games, though I do want to die, games are the only things holding me back. Parents think I work a full time job. When in reality, for about the past 2 months, I've been driving somewhere and staying in my car for about 9 hours playing on my samsung galaxy s6 that I had for about a month or so till I got the nintendo switch. I just yolo spend because money will become irrelevant when I ctb. I only go out to the nearest grocery store for lunch and pee breaks. I'm also 27 years old. It's a sad situation from other perspectives. However, it's gotten to the point in my life where I barely have any guilt conscience and gave up all hope. I'm just a husk.
The only thing I live for at this moment are just binging on games, though I do want to die, games are the only things holding me back. Parents think I work a full time job. When in reality, for about the past 2 months, I've been driving somewhere and staying in my car for about 9 hours playing on my samsung galaxy s6 that I had for about a month or so till I got the nintendo switch. I just yolo spend because money will become irrelevant when I ctb. I only go out to the nearest grocery store for lunch and pee breaks. I'm also 27 years old. It's a sad situation from other perspectives. However, it's gotten to the point in my life where I barely have any guilt conscience and gave up all hope. I'm just a husk.
Blueman
Student
- Aug 13, 2020
- 171
Mum sister niece nephew friends the possibility I'll somehow improve my finances
Being scared doing it and fear of failure, not wanting my demise in the local press.
Being scared doing it and fear of failure, not wanting my demise in the local press.
Nymph
he/him
- Jul 15, 2020
- 2,561
listeningpost1379
enduring winter
- Apr 20, 2019
- 93
Still havent gotten minimum things needed for my chosen method, also cannot find opportunity to be alone
GrumpyFrog
Exhausted
- Aug 23, 2020
- 1,913
User_01
Member
- Aug 23, 2020
- 20
Mostly my dog, she has kept me here for years.
But also guilt, shame and a fear of failure or getting caught (especially if this means people finding out and/or me being sectioned) and I'm very stubborn I don't like to lose.
But also guilt, shame and a fear of failure or getting caught (especially if this means people finding out and/or me being sectioned) and I'm very stubborn I don't like to lose.
My fear is that i would be punished for eternity
Superdeterminist
Enlightened
- Apr 5, 2020
- 1,873
Lupgevif
.
- Jul 23, 2020
- 928
Availability of reliable methods, high chances of being found, certainty SI will kick in.
Similar threads
Venting
The hug I needed (vent art)
- sweetsweetsuicide
- Suicide Discussion
Suicide Discussion
ScaredCutter
- socksnsandles
- Suicide Discussion
Suicide Discussion
Steve Vermont
