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NotesFromTheShadow
Member
- Oct 28, 2023
- 11
So, I used to be very sure about my method - gun - for a few reasons. Quick, simple, effective. Plus, I like guns. I've shot some guns in the past. I think they're kinda cool. Plus I have easy access to guns since I don't have any mental health diagnoses, nor criminal record.
I also kinda romanticised the idea of "going with a bang.
Until...
I wanted to know as much as I could about the actual experience of blowing your own head off so, I looked up some footage of public suicides. (Google doesn't give out this information too easily but if you dig a bit you'll find some.) And one particular video changed my mind about it altogether. It's from Ricardo López aka the Björk stalker who blew his head off in a vlog. I really do not recommend watching that video. It's agonizing.
I'm not gonna go into details about the video but it seems like the most brutal and painful experience ever. Especially the audio of it. It just seems like a very log and painful struggle, even though it's just a few seconds. This gave me so much chills and makes me wonder:
What if, in such a situation our perception of time slows down so, it'll feel much longer and will be agony, despite the rational belief of it being quick. Because, that's a thing, right? Our perception of time can slow down. For instance when we're in a very painful or adrenalin-loaded situation. I was in a car crash once and even though the whole situation was just a couple of seconds it felt like minutes to me.
Even the possibility of this gives me the fucking chills, so the gun - method is off the table for me.
What's your thoughts on this?
I also kinda romanticised the idea of "going with a bang.
Until...
I wanted to know as much as I could about the actual experience of blowing your own head off so, I looked up some footage of public suicides. (Google doesn't give out this information too easily but if you dig a bit you'll find some.) And one particular video changed my mind about it altogether. It's from Ricardo López aka the Björk stalker who blew his head off in a vlog. I really do not recommend watching that video. It's agonizing.
I'm not gonna go into details about the video but it seems like the most brutal and painful experience ever. Especially the audio of it. It just seems like a very log and painful struggle, even though it's just a few seconds. This gave me so much chills and makes me wonder:
What if, in such a situation our perception of time slows down so, it'll feel much longer and will be agony, despite the rational belief of it being quick. Because, that's a thing, right? Our perception of time can slow down. For instance when we're in a very painful or adrenalin-loaded situation. I was in a car crash once and even though the whole situation was just a couple of seconds it felt like minutes to me.
Even the possibility of this gives me the fucking chills, so the gun - method is off the table for me.
What's your thoughts on this?