I've struggled with depression and anxiety for decades. Before some profound and life changing losses, I had a good life, I was able to function/cope, mostly..but once some things in life shifts, both the depression and anxiety expoentially worsened. And yes, I've tried every suggestions imaginable to allivate their grip, including therapy and medications. Some relief occured, but mostly, their grip on my entire life, remained/remains unchanged.
For me, the mental health costs have been financial stability, employment stability and a social life. I do not have any retirement savings or accounts, no personal savings, no one to fall back on in that sense, I live paycheck to paycheck and not all times is that successful. I've had a multitude of opportunties professionally but have either flaked out on the job due to the depression/anxiety/lack of confidence/unreasonable fears or just not started the job at all after accepting it. I have lsot count of how many jobs I've worked or been hired for but not followed through on in the past 15 yrs. Socially, I have withdrawn to the point I have zero friends. None. Not a one. Other than my spouse and store clerks, I don't interact with anyone. I am employed but not in an office setting so interaction with my coworkers is 99% via phone/email/text.
I think about how much different, possibly, life would be/would've been if it weren't for the mental health stuggles I deal with..would I, at 57, be in a leadership position? Financially secure? Have close knit group of friends? Would I not think about ending my life every single day? Would I be living versus exisiting and waiting for..what I don't even know anymore.
Would life be, not perfect, but technicolor instead of vanilla beige? What would it feel like to have peace of mind?
Does anyone else identify with what I'm saying?
For me, the mental health costs have been financial stability, employment stability and a social life. I do not have any retirement savings or accounts, no personal savings, no one to fall back on in that sense, I live paycheck to paycheck and not all times is that successful. I've had a multitude of opportunties professionally but have either flaked out on the job due to the depression/anxiety/lack of confidence/unreasonable fears or just not started the job at all after accepting it. I have lsot count of how many jobs I've worked or been hired for but not followed through on in the past 15 yrs. Socially, I have withdrawn to the point I have zero friends. None. Not a one. Other than my spouse and store clerks, I don't interact with anyone. I am employed but not in an office setting so interaction with my coworkers is 99% via phone/email/text.
I think about how much different, possibly, life would be/would've been if it weren't for the mental health stuggles I deal with..would I, at 57, be in a leadership position? Financially secure? Have close knit group of friends? Would I not think about ending my life every single day? Would I be living versus exisiting and waiting for..what I don't even know anymore.
Would life be, not perfect, but technicolor instead of vanilla beige? What would it feel like to have peace of mind?
Does anyone else identify with what I'm saying?
