Discussion what does the phrase "I love you" mean to you?

[Rahat]

Compassion and protectiveness. It means "It hurts me when you are cornered and treated unfairly, and I wont let it happen in front of my eyes"

 

[K14~♡]

Love has always been a topic that interested me, but man I realize now that "I love you" never really meant anything to me...I think I'm able to feel and see the other person's feelings clearer through actions and more specific words instead

The only thing I've learned is that "I love you" should be repeated back when it's said to you (platonically and familial), otherwise it's rude I guess...

 

[Wishingfordeath]

Nobody will ever love me

 

[SatinSoul]

The meaning can be vastly different and impactful depending on whom the person saying it is and how they say it. The meaning is impossible to generalize.

 

[Spit On My Grave]

Sex and rarely care

 

[NotWorthLiving]

An empty promise

 

[dhk96]

It makes me feel uncomfortable whether it's said by a family member or someone online (usually in a superficial, casual manner) because I hate myself and my existence.

Same with compliments or any words of affirmation because they primarily reinforce my self-hatred, shame, guilt, and anxiety.

I also threw those words around way too casually online when I was still pretending to be okay/happy-go-lucky which I regret.

On days where I am less guilty about my existence and the anger/resentment take over, something like "I love you" (rarely ever said) from my parents feels like an attack. What do you mean you Iove me? I wouldn't have had to suffer if you hadn't given birth to me. You don't love me when you don't want to understand how I feel, much less ever have the complete capacity to. I can't change. And thinking it's my fault or that I won't allow myself change is proof enough that you don't love me. You only love your idea of normalcy and familyhood. And I don't care that you're human and can make human mistakes, Dad. You shouldn't have responded with "I didn't choose you either" when I told you "it's your fault I exist" and "I didn't choose to exist." Fuck you. You had the choice to keep your pants on. I had absolutely nothing. As brief and random as that moment was, I'm never going to forget it. And Mom, if you're always going to side with my sister anyway, you don't love me either. I wish you'd just let me die instead of caring one moment and not another.

 

[TokaNoOwari]

I often catch myself wondering if romantic love is actually a real thing, or if we simply invented a very pretty word to cover up deep, exhausting codependency. While I am exctatic at the idea and beauty of romance, at what point does love stop being about connection and just become two people leaning on each other to survive their own voids?

I keep thinking about how much actual kindness is even required to keep a relationship running. Sometimes it feels like the answer is barely any, just as long as you keep playing your assigned role and fulfilling your expected function. It really makes me question if anyone is ever loved for the person they actually are, or just for whatever can be extracted from them.

Other times, I feel the exact opposite. Love is a mystery.

 

[Proceed]

No one says that to me so I don't really have an answer.

 

[Lamentice]

To the one person I was ever romantically in love with I used to say "I adore you."

Telling someone I love them means they're important to me. I recently got in a fight with my brother over the phone, I had to end the call, but made sure to let him know I love him before hanging up, cause it was also just a way to say: "I don't want to talk to you anymore right now, but ultimately we'll be okay because you're important to me."

I don't use the phrase gratuitously, but I use it every time I see people I love, yes. I see a lot of people here associate it with manipulation and abuse, people in my family were actually pretty hesistant and weird about saying "love", so for me I have an opposite trauma and actually do enjoy hearing it and saying it. I know between my siblings and I it has sincere value & is needed.

 

[starboy2k]

"I love that you need me, and I love the allegiance I trained you to have to me"

or something like that……….

 

[Mirelight]

Depends on the person who says it I guess?
Parents/siblings: They will always be there for me, and wish I would open up more to them. I'm sorry mom...

Friends: Mostly jokingly, I don't think any of my friends would genuinely have those words for me, for guy friends it's too emotional, for girls it's inappropriate.

Girl/Boyfriend : I have only been with one, it went pretty horribly. I still don't know how much of those confessions were true and how much it was just said to not hurt my feelings. But still if someone genuinely uses those words in this context for me it's would mean they will try their best to understand me and they expect the same from me.

But I see my views are relatively rose-tinted compared to others here, I have been isolated for most my live so maybe it's just inexperience.

 

[HeyBoogahJr]

"I love you"

means something.

Anyone can say it.

I appreciate it when I hear it.

"You love me..?"

I haven't experienced "Love" before, but I'd like to. If I experienced "Love" then I'd assume it would be like Steven Universe's Love Like You

I'm learning to love myself. I'm learning that I love other people. I hope I'll meet someone before I end the show.

 

[3spiral]

uhm,, when someone says this to me I just take it as it is. this person loves me and now I know it, even though having someone who loves you is scary sometimes
I don't think anyone ever lied to me about loving me. people who love me have hurt me deeply before, but they still love me, and were probably unaware
and it's also a sort of affirmation that I'm not hated for no reason even if my mind tries to convince me of that—

 

[violetforever]

a gesture ive seen rehearsed enough times to finally learn its only a gesture.

 

[stripey]

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[suncide10]

i don't know, no one ever said this to me

 

[Messy Room]

"I want to love someone and youre in front of me rn"

 

[sheeplit]

My view on this is rather unusual I think. To say "I love you" is like saying:

I commit myself to understanding who and why you are the way you are. I strip myself of the shackles of right and wrong, and look at you with fresh eyes. To see for myself the push and pull of events that have defined you. To see the choices you have made, and discern and distinguish between intent and failure relative to what you value. To understand what you value, what you fear, and why you have come to do so. To see the full extent of your personality in context and contrast to mine, that I might perhaps earn myself a place to say something of it, good or bad.

While conventional thought suggests that to love someone is to have already understood them enough to warrant said love, I see it more as an active and continued commitment to understanding. It is the hand reaching out to another, a request for a continued audience, a request for unfettered access to the depths of another. It is the difference between "I love him because—" and "I love him".

The degree to which we love is the degree to which we allow ourselves to experience the other wholeheartedly.

The niceties of today are meaningless without the understanding. "I care about you", "You are my friend", and all sayings alike are nothing more than selfish utterances when the you has no definition. It is more an expression of their own needs, and has little to nothing to do with you. The you in their statements is nothing more than incidental; you could have been anyone else if it fit their narrative. Love is a request to find the definition in you.

By this, I believe that I have never really been loved by anyone. I exist as nothing more than a fiction or fantasy that fits into the narratives that those around me live by.

I don't think I have truly loved anyone either.

I have a growing distaste, even disgust, for people who say such words without pause or hesitation. I find it to be inconsiderate, harmful, selfish, self-absorbed, insulting, burdensome, demanding, among many other things.

 

[Leonard_Bangley39]

nothing. it doesnt mean anything. or rather i dont understand the meaning, so it just rolls right off my mind. in one ear and out the other. just like many other things, they're just meaningless words and nothing else