Discussion What does being a minor change?

[fatpigiee]

One of the forum's rules is to be +18 , i don't understand what is the difference between someone who is 17 and 19
Especially alot of grown ups with mental illness can have Illogical point of view if that's why. Because they didn't suffer enough yet? Because life can get better at the end? You can say that for someone who is 20 and 30 too. And its true, someone can actually get better after alot of year of suffering, but it can happen to anyone and at every age
I can understand that it's only in the rules because of the formalities.However, people's reactions to the suicide or posts of a minor is different often showing more pity or minimizing their suffering. Its strange because alot of people here have suicidal ideation from a young age too

 

[Asya]

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[sanctionedusage]

minors can barely make rational decisions and are usually extremely impressionable online. "so are some adults!!" sure, but those same adults would've been even more impressionable at 12 compared to 18. that doesn't mean we should welcome a demographic that's inherently vulnerable to impulsive decisions and poor emotional control. if your issue is that there isn't a difference between 17 and 19, then it'd be more logically coherent to suggest not allowing 19yos on the site rather than 'might as well allow the 17yo.' 17 is not just as mature as a 19yo; a 19yo is just as immature as a 17yo.

but the cutoff has to be somewhere, so it ends up being the legal definition of an adult. if anything, the age cutoff is pretty lenient since a 17yo and 18yo are essentially identical.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I suppose because like everything else that carries prohibition in life- it's an easier guage to use. It may well not be accurate but then- what would be the alternative? To take some sort of maturity test? I suppose there aren't the resources for that.

I imagine too- the limit of 18 has been set for lots of other things because presumably- the average person is deemed to have the maturity and mental faculty to weigh up decisions by that point.

Legally too- I imagine parents can press for more action if their (in legal terms) child has been exposed to something 'dangerous'.

To be selfish about it- it also puts the forum at greater risk- I imagine of being torn down- if minor's suicides can be connected to it. I'd say the public are far more outraged when a minor dies.

Members may sound irritated because- the person lied to create an account here. Many of us depend heavily on the forum to try and get through each day. When something we need is threatened- even if that other person feels desperate too, it does create anxiety I've experienced.

That's a selfish perspective but then- isn't the minor also being selfish? Their being here can get both the forum and individual members into trouble- possibly legal trouble.

I stupidly didn't read a post carefully enough once- where a person identified their age as a minor. I was more encouraging towards recovery- as it happens because they sounded like they were considering both still. But- the forum rules had just changed at that point and I got slapped with a 50% warning. So- just practically speaking- minors on here can get other forum members warned and banned as well.

In terms of reality though- I do relate to what you are saying. I began having suicidal thoughts when I was 10 and, they never really went away. I do sometimes wonder how very different the 10, 16, 18, 24, 35 year old me was to my current age of 46. The motive to suicide changed over that time but, the feelings were all fairly (horribly) similar.

I think the one thing I would say is that in our youth, there are sometimes more opportunities open to us. Although again- not for all of us- unfortunately.

However- developing ideation that young suggests it might have something to do with the person's home environment. At that stage (aged 18,) leaving home may make a substantial difference- it did for me initially.

I suppose at that age though- we simply haven't experienced enough of life to know for sure we hate everything about it. We may hate and fear the prospect of working or living independently but then- we won't know for sure how we'll feel in that situation- till we do it. Again- that's broad strokes but then- it can't be anything else. There aren't the resources to consider each person individually.

Personally speaking, I did develop better ways of coping emotionally as I aged. Although- obviously not enough- seeing as I was always still suicidal to some extent. But, I think that also causes hesitency towards younger people. That they may not be experiencing life as they will eventually- with more experience and more emotional maturity.

 

[HopelessScientist]

One of the forum's rules is to be +18 , i don't understand what is the difference between someone who is 17 and 19
Especially alot of grown ups with mental illness can have Illogical point of view if that's why. Because they didn't suffer enough yet? Because life can get better at the end? You can say that for someone who is 20 and 30 too. And its true, someone can actually get better after alot of year of suffering, but it can happen to anyone and at every age
I can understand that it's only in the rules because of the formalities.However, people's reactions to the suicide or posts of a minor is different often showing more pity or minimizing their suffering. Its strange because alot of people here have suicidal ideation from a young age too

I had depression since I was 7, suicidal by 10. The problem is, children are powerless, a lot of the time it is their shitty home circumstances and powerlessness that gives them mental health problems. I recovered when I was 18, so happy to have a life, decided to become a scientist.

Then depression hit again, but I was able to get treatment, I had agency in what treatment I get and how. I am still waiting to exhaust all before ctb.

Also for this forum, it is legal risk. Even if I have no issue with a minor choosing to take their life (it's the pain and circumstances that cause suicide I want to prevent, not suicides themselves), minors being here would be a huge liability.

 

[lpdsvm]

I don't even need an account here. Everything I needed is available without signing up (enough to CTB). I don't think they should sign up and discuss that. It's very sad to even think about it.
Even if it's 19 - there are people that still try to advise them to think thoroughly first.

 

[Apathy79]

Pretty much every attack on the forum, the reason it is so hard to keep up, the reason it is so controversial and banned in so many places, are all centered on minors being here. It's legal but also public perception. All the attack groups are from parents of kids who have committed suicide after coming here. I think most of society believes adults can do what they please but kids need to be protected from certain things (like this). 18 is somewhat arbitrary but its the same for everything that suddenly becomes legal then. Need to draw the line somewhere and thats where most people draw it.

It also makes sense because of how volatile we are as teenagers. Normal kid has a bad breakup and feels like the world is ending and they'll never find love again and there's nothing to live for finds this site and someone goes oh don't worry, here's a poison you can take to end it all, here's a method to make sure it works, sweet dreams! And next minute they're dead. It's not a great look for the site. And the parents don't forget quickly. I think it would be best if noone saw this site before they turned 18 tbh. Unfortunately impossible to enforce. But that would keep the site away from 90+% of its issues.