that's a question i find myself pondering often. i think materialism is false, nothingness (which would certainly be my ideal outcome) is incoherent, and considering NDEs and related phenomena that cast doubt on the physicalist model, i am strongly inclined to think that there is postmortem existence of some sort. as for what exactly that might be, i couldn't say, but i suspect that 'rebirth' (whatever that exactly means) is at least a possibility.
no one asked, of course, but i will just add as an afterthought that i'm not even sure i can consider myself truly suicidal anymore, even though i still have the occasional urge, because i have come to the conclusion that, for me personally (no judgement passed on anyone who thinks or has concluded otherwise), it's simply not good enough to just cross my fingers in the hopes that the problem of my existence - which, to be clear, is the fact that I exist at all and suffer on account of it - resolves itself and does not violently (re)assert itself even though it has already done so at least once. i tried to look past this, but i found myself unable to when all the while the uncertainty and the danger lurking therein was staring me in the face. i've had it with mere descriptions of the problem, though (of which there have been countless, spanning millennia); i'm now working toward a solution to this predicament, which, in my view, is the only worthwhile pursuit.
