Discussion What do you think about suicide hotlines ? #49

[MeltingBrain]

I have never called one but I can't imagine calling one either. I find them pretty useless because my issues are more deep rooted than a call can ever solve. Only a minuscule percent of people must be committing CTB because of impulsiveness. Most suffer for a long time or have given it a lot of thought. I don't have any evidence to back this up other than intuition. But maybe I am wrong .
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#49
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[areyousafe??]

I called them once. It was late at night and I think the lady I spoke to was about to finish her shift. She told me that as long as I don't feel like killing myself tonight, hang up the phone, make a cup of tea and go to sleep.

I won't be calling them again.

 

[Namelesa]

I would say unhelpful. The ones I have tried either didn't respond in enough time or just made me feel more anxious as I don't want the threat of them caging me for being too suicidal and it's hard to just vocally talk to a person I don't even know about my deepest problems. I also don't think they would fully understand my problems.

To me here is much better as I know people are more likely to understand me and give personal responses to what I have vented about.

 

[dragonofenvy]

"Have you tried taking a hot shower?"

This site is better than any hotline because most people here won't say something as stupid as that. If they don't know what to say, they'll just not say anything at all and move onto the next post. On top of this, you won't have police at your door.

 

[Yume Nikki]

Most of them are in it for the money it seems. I heard working at a crisis hotline pays a lot and are remote so people take advantage of that to give some half-assed advice you hear everywhere else. :(

 

[MeltingBrain]

I called them once. It was late at night and I think the lady I spoke to was about to finish her shift. She told me that as long as I don't feel like killing myself tonight, hang up the phone, make a cup of tea and go to sleep.

I have read the purpose of suicide hotlines is to prevent any immediate suicide impulse. Yeah it doesn't solve any deep issues .

"Have you tried taking a hot shower?"

This site is better than any hotline because most people here won't say something as stupid as that. If they don't know what to say, they'll just not say anything at all and move onto the next post. On top of this, you won't have police at your door.

But have you considered taking a walk and a few deep breaths .

 

[dragonofenvy]

I have read the purpose of suicide hotlines is to prevent any immediate suicide impulse. Yeah it doesn't solve any deep issues .

But have you considered taking a walk and a few deep breaths .

You know, I haven't taken a walk nor taken deep breaths in a bit. Maybe this was all I needed to fix all the problems in my life. I'll try that right now and let everyone know how it goes!

I have read the purpose of suicide hotlines is to prevent any immediate suicide impulse. Yeah it doesn't solve any deep issues .

Yeah, which does work for a lot of people. But unfortunately, it will never be able to solve the underlying problems and you'll still feel miserable. If your life is objectively bad calling isn't really a great idea because it'll sound really patronizing. If you've got a decent life but something like clinical depression and the impulse is there, then it might help.

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't care as I have no interest in suffering in this existence, I'd always prefer to die no matter what, for me existence itself is the problem and it's a problem that only ceasing to exist can solve for me, I personally just prefer the peace of never existing ever again over suffering in this horrific world, the thought of being enslaved in this existence for much longer just to die in agony from old age is really terrifying to me. I see human existence as an abomination and I'd never wish to be conscious of anything at all, existence will always be deeply undesirable to me no matter what and I'm so tired of being burdened with this existence, I just wish I was never forced into this existence of pointless suffering, I wish for the option to just simply die in peace and never exist ever again.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm glad they exist but from what I've heard and experienced- I was put in touch with one (not my choice) after a welfare check, I think they need to be a lot better.

The common complaints are: disinterested responses, robotic scripted replies, not being available at all. My experience included shaming and guilt trips. I was furious. (Inwardly.) I prefered talking to the police! They were much nicer.

The worst part of it is they're so commonly held up as being some mirracle cure. They can't even realistically be that.

That said, I think it's good that people have the option at least to talk to someone if they want to. Maybe it does help some. I don't know. It doesn't appeal to me either to be honest.

 

[vercabow]

never called it. i've heard some horror stories from people did. i wouldn't even consider calling it because the asian perception of suicide is incredibly taboo, and im 99% sure the person on the other end would say something that would just make it worse.

 

[neenie]

It depends on what you call helpful i think. Preventing suicides? Giving people the choice to do what's best for them? Treating the "root cause" of suicide? Making people feel better and giving them hope?

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I haven't ever used a suicide hotline for myself but, based from what I've heard online, they seem to be unhelpful. I genuinely don't see how a suicide hotline can actually help somebody unless if their issues weren't too bad to begin with. They seem to be operating on these useless platitudes and I just can't see how such a thing would be helpful

 

[grungy自殺]

I've never thought about how amazingly useless it is.

Like literally when i was away to a another country for vacation months ago, i had a swap where i wanted to seriously wanted to ctb, as i meander around the streets looking for some kind of method (which in hindsight, i've basically, pointlessly thought that i could die by hitting myself with a car or jumping off a bridge. but those ways are so undesirable for my preference and would be dangerous for me to attempt) i've basically sat on a concrete block where i would cry and cry all alone and then for a moment, just a moment out of nowhere i've decided to call the hotline. As result of me just trying to find a way for me to ease myself (because i didn't want to say anything to anyone since i've fear alarming others on my struggle to basically prevent me from going anywhere again, and also because i didn't have a pc or laptop with me, to access ss) and literally after getting through the usual dial shit, i was greeted with nothing but literal platitudes by the opratiors and they were just saying the same shit to me over and over. (like: oh.. that sounds hard... sorry to hear... you're in pain... oh you're going through alot and you're having these thoughts) And i thought that the hotline would be of help to provide some kind of in depth help for your pain as people all over this fucking surface wide web like to brag that "it's free and there's no judgement"

And literally what they told me at worse is to be going to a mental Institution to be checked in and to basically give me some sorta of help (which i highly found disingenuous and also literally after i've seen stories by people on here and outside of this forum that discuss their experience there, i'm highly convinced that i've shouldn't by any means go there and it's not even something be exciting or braging worthwhile over ) and obviously because i'm not in my native country at the time. i've can't even possibly go to one if i wanted to and that would be a waste of shit for me to return home just for that. and worse thing about it, is that it costs money (which would already put even more debt in my budgeted vacation to be placed in a queue to go to be examined by a psychiatrist and psychologist)

And literally looking back at this i've felt super pathetic that i've even tried or dare calling the hotline and i've really wished i've did not know how fucking stupid such a operation even exists.

 

[foreverlanguish]

Once I called a suicide/crisis hotline because I was feeling downright miserable from my intrusive thoughts and the lady on the other side of the line actually made me feel better. She told me to look at my surroundings and do the five senses thing I remember, and she was just overall very nice. Besides that though I called the first time because of suicidal ideation and the guy just… didn't help. Just spilled the typical platitudes and that's it.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I never called a suicide hotline. I consider them unhelpful bc they can't solve the problems that make people suicidal.

 

[Autumn_Stars]

I would like to share the one I use. The peer to peer warm line. It is staffed by people with former issues. I talk to Connie who was hospitalized for depression. It's in NJ but I am one state over. They staff on the weekend from 5 PM on. 877 292 5588.

 

[2messdup]

I'm in the UK and I think they are very good.
Here we have a choice and many of them are charities manned by volunteers. Some are a phone line. Some are text based. Some are chat lines.
Most will (have to) call emergency services if they think you're in danger but even if you're extremely suicidal, if they can talk you down they won't call anyone.
The best one imo are the Samaritans which are mainly phone based. The people on the phone are well trained volunteers. They never give advice. It's too risky for them if it goes wrong.
You don't have to be suicidal. You can talk to them about anything bothering you. You can talk for as long as you need. The unusual thing with the Samaritans is that they have a legal exception which means they don't have to call emergency services unless you are under age, or you ask them to, or when you fall unconscious after taking something to ctb. They have talked me down from impulsive ctb a few times and also just let me talk through a crisis where I'm not in imminent danger. The only drawback is that they get very busy so it can be a long wait on hold. I'm impulsive so it helps me sometimes. They're UK only.

 

[CatLvr]

You know, I haven't taken a walk nor taken deep breaths in a bit. Maybe this was all I needed to fix all the problems in my life. I'll try that right now and let everyone know how it goes!

Yeah, which does work for a lot of people. But unfortunately, it will never be able to solve the underlying problems and you'll still feel miserable. If your life is objectively bad calling isn't really a great idea because it'll sound really patronizing. If you've got a decent life but something like clinical depression and the impulse is there, then it might help.

Yep, felt completely patronized, like they were infinitely smarter than me and couldn't believe they were having to suffer through a conversation with me.

 

[whatcouldofbeen]

my experience:

called one, when my event first happened. i was having a panic attack and i supposed it helped in a way because i automatically switched to being able to present and communicate wiht the other person on the line. sort of like i felt bad for being a burden to them so i was polite. I asked them to help me organize my thoughts because i had so many of them swirling in my head it felt sort of like the idea of evil/casuality from beserk but much more sharp and loud and faster? regardless i basically used him as a RAM or a notepad to organize my thoughts i would tell him my thoughts and ask him to remind me because i was so close to completing a thought but always got cut off by another one before i could complete it, this happened for like a hour before i called and i felt like i was about to permanently damage my brain/lose grip on reality

anyways he was nice but for me personally the approach was too clinical i guess, his advice felt too generic and cliche and seethrough but i guess those problems are a reflection of my own biases against mental health in general a view i had a priviliged neurotypical before the event. it did get better when i asked him to tell me about himself but i felt bad about it because i felt like i was forcing him to do it because he wouldnt want to be rude to someone suicidal. He later offered to transfer me to a regional helpline i think he was being professional because he wanted someone to give regional specific legal advice but perhaps because of my state of mind i thought he was disgusted with me and wanted to get rid of me. before that happened though i was talking some more, rambling really. and then i accidentally hit the hangup button because i was physcially tweaking in my bed. I stared at my phone for a couple seconds, i suddenly realized how bright the phone screen was against my eyes in the backdrop of my dark room. and i recalled the last few words of conversation i had, i concluded that it sounded like i hung up the phone suddenly to go through with it and finally find somethign to hang myself off of. I frantically called back the number and conneced with a different operator, i tried my best to remember any distinct details of the guy before me but i guess the coworkers arent close because the new guy couldnt trasnfer me. He did offer to send a message to him basically saying "hey man its the guy from earlier i accidentally hung up and from your poitn of view it must of seemed like i made a snap decision to go through with something, i just wanted you to know that im not, and you were really helpful" but i think the new guy was just saying that to make me feel better.

In the end i thanked them and ended the call and started crying because it didnt help, the washing machine of my brain started again and i kept thinking about how my existence and every action i do just makes things worse and that i should just kill myself and stop the ripple effect of my existence from casuing more suffering of everyone else. I thought about maybe that the original operator was like me and didnt believe, and that he thought i was actually going to kill myself and that that was going to be his last straw and he was going to kill himself and i would be atleast partly responsible for contributing to the secondary trauma that was being a suicide hotline operator.

so yeah. it depends, he did his best and i used to be a reasonable well adjusted mentally healthy person but because of the event i think i was just unconsolable no matter what.

 

[ThisIsMe1357]

I have not called one yet, so I cannot comment on what the experience with them can be like, but they would not help me specifically anyway. However, they might help some people, especially the ones who might be trying to die impulsively, or for whom there might still be some realistic help available.

I think they are a good think for specific cases, and so they should be there to help whomever they can.But the people who do not belong to this group of "some" simply need another kind of help...

 

[sorrynormal]

Most of them are in it for the money it seems. I heard working at a crisis hotline pays a lot and are remote so people take advantage of that to give some half-assed advice you hear everywhere else. :(

Actually most hotlines are volunteers either getting experience or work hours for a professional license. They are nothing more than a feeder system for therapists and psychiatrist. They also can and will call the cops at the slightest provocation. You WILL be taken to a hospital, against your will by several large men with guns (police). It's an utter waste of time.

 

[Yume Nikki]

Actually most hotlines are volunteers either getting experience or work hours for a professional license. They are nothing more than a feeder system for therapists and psychiatrist. They also can and will call the cops at the slightest provocation. You WILL be taken to a hospital, against your will by several large men with guns (police). It's an utter waste of time.

Wait, so they are talking to people struggling with suicidal ideation just for the work experience? They're not even qualified yet to provide substantial advice? That's crazy to think that even in our darkest moments we are still tools to use by others to further progress their careers...

I've been in a hospital twice before and it was definitely a waste of my time. The only thing that's sorta helped me was ECT, and it was only due to the short-term memory less that gave me temporary relief from my problems, but I wish I never went there to begin with.

 

[sorrynormal]

Wait, so they are talking to people struggling with suicidal ideation just for the work experience? They're not even qualified yet to provide substantial advice? That's crazy to think that even in our darkest moments we are still tools to use by others to further progress their careers...

Yes, its true. A hotline is the lowest position on the Mental Health Industrial Complex totem pole. It's staffed with people who could care less and largely have to follow a script. Some of them might 'care' but it will eventually be regimented/beaten out of them through their professional training IE hazing. Even if a Mental Health provider of any type 'cares' they are forbidden by law to do anything about it. It's why the MH system is a joke; it's not a real relationship.. EVER

 

[Darkover]

a waste of time i need my right to die not some bull shit help that doesn't even work

 

[imsotired35]

I think people call a hotline with the expectation of the worker being able to cure/fix them. Then when they are still suicidal they blame the hotline and get mad they didn't help. But the hotline is just there to talk/vent/listen and offer advice. They can't fix you. You're still going to feel like shit after the call.

I have never called one because I don't want to put pressure on them to try and keep me alive.

 

[sorrynormal]

I've been in a hospital twice before and it was definitely a waste of my time. The only thing that's sorta helped me was ECT, and it was only due to the short-term memory less that gave me temporary relief from my problems, but I wish I never went there to begin with.

I mean no disrespect to you with this statement but I would be remiss if I did not point out how shockingly dystopian this statement is. A society so bereft of any compassion or empathy, that the only 'solution' offered is to electrocute your brain until you forget how dystopian society has become. This is why the mental health system is an enemy of the people. It's about control and nothing else. All the other ideas are just sales pitches to get you into the door.

 

[pachamacha]

the phonelines are like the child snatcher from chitty chitty bang bang they are looking for prey

Yes, its true. A hotline is the lowest position on the Mental Health Industrial Complex totem pole. It's staffed with people who could care less and largely have to follow a script. Some of them might 'care' but it will eventually be regimented/beaten out of them through their professional training IE hazing. Even if a Mental Health provider of any type 'cares' they are forbidden by law to do anything about it. It's why the MH system is a joke; it's not a real relationship.. EVER

i see something happen with new nurses young out of uni working on the mental health wards fresh faced guinine humanity and compassion they get grafted into a souless inforcer dracion methods patients become less human you can sense the change flat effect learnt phrasing scaled to response the loss of human acknowledgement it is removed managing risks on sparce resources they become working tools for corruption

some long term charge nurses get their kicks out of it it's a dream come true vunerable people to abuse and overpower they even get paid for it and zero repreccusions cqc have their back alongside the rest

 

[Yume Nikki]

I mean no disrespect to you with this statement but I would be remiss if I did not point out how shockingly dystopian this statement is. A society so bereft of any compassion or empathy, that the only 'solution' offered is to electrocute your brain until you forget how dystopian society has become. This is why the mental health system is an enemy of the people. It's about control and nothing else. All the other ideas are just sales pitches to get you into the door.

I've been to therapy and taken meds for years and nothing has changed or improved ever since then. Most of it is due to environmental and genetic factors though, so ECT might be my only option left. I've endured abuse from my father and ex resulting in abandonment issues. If I could forget all of my memories, I would take it in a heartbeat. It's dystopian definitely, but I would love to live in ignorance of my pain than be aware of it.

 

[Fritz]

I called them once. It was late at night and I think the lady I spoke to was about to finish her shift. She told me that as long as I don't feel like killing myself tonight, hang up the phone, make a cup of tea and go to sleep.

I won't be calling them again.

I actually laughed out loud- make a cup of tea and go to sleep? Really? I have no words.

 

[sannoji]

i've actually been working on a hotline for psychology related experience, their training is really sort of formulaic and it's honestly more depressing because i know 99% of the time i'm not doing any long-term good and honestly i don't think it even does any short term good half the time. it's good for stopping impulsive attempts in theory but there's always the things about having to call the police and just. man. can't wait to get off of this. i've also called them myself a few times and the ones that don't try to give advice are good, it's nice if you want to feel listened to but honestly if i could i'd recommend this site way more for feeling heard, because of the risk of getting police called on you… yeah, imo it's just a band aid and the majority of people need more than a band aid but there's nothing else you even have to give.