oxymoron

oxymoron

Arcanist
Jul 18, 2019
439
I don't feel anything.

no love
no hate
no fear
no pain
no sadness
no happiness
no anxiety
no stress
no guilt
no regrets
no life
no hope
no ambition
no presence
no breath
no heartbeat
no loneliness
no questions
no answers
no me
no I
 
irrelevant_string

irrelevant_string

Student
Jun 16, 2019
122
The "no I" would be nice. However, no amount of meditative practice could bring me there. There's a stubborn sense of self in this one.
 
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Dawn0071111

Dawn0071111

Hungry Ghost
Dec 9, 2018
570
I feel totally worthless, I hate myself and I hate myself for hating myself..... lol
 
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dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
I feel totally worthless, I hate myself and I hate myself for hating myself..... lol
Been there many years, I started a testosterone therapy with a very professional doctor. I'm feeling good, like living and working. Who was going to know that testosterone has been by far the best "medicine" I've ever received.
 
Dawn0071111

Dawn0071111

Hungry Ghost
Dec 9, 2018
570
Been there many years, I started a testosterone therapy with a very professional doctor. I'm feeling good, like living and working. Who was going to know that testosterone has been by far the best "medicine" I've ever received.

I am so glad to hear. I am still doing my "rule out" since my close attempt in January. Since Im female, testorestone prob isn't my answer. My next step is hypnotherapy. If I can over come my problem. No need to die. But once hope is gone so am I. But yes, my freind. Whatever one can find to enjoy life. Do it!
 
Ixtabba

Ixtabba

I’ve got a war in my mind.
Jul 25, 2019
29
Empty. Like a pit has swallowed my stomach and my chest, I feel nothing but emptiness and for some reason that's the most painful feeling.
 
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Ladylethal

Ladylethal

Member
Jun 16, 2019
91
Grief stricken. Numb. Angry. Disgustingly worthless. Scared.
 
dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
I am so glad to hear. I am still doing my "rule out" since my close attempt in January. Since Im female, testorestone prob isn't my answer. My next step is hypnotherapy. If I can over come my problem. No need to die. But once hope is gone so am I. But yes, my freind. Whatever one can find to enjoy life. Do it!
The hormone doctor told me many people are wrongly seeing psychologists and psychiatrist when it's all a hormone issue. I hope this lasts for me, I have found before hope and lost it, I cannot get my Hope's high. But I'm doing fine at the moment, thank you. I would first go see an endocrinologist than a hypnotherapist if I was you, and tell them you are close to suicide and that you been told other people ha e found that it is hormone related ..... like me, we have to try everything we can.
 
Saga

Saga

In my memories a smiling me doesn't exist
Jul 20, 2019
175
I wish I could say I am empty...But my heart is aching so bad rn..I might impulsively ctb only to fail again..i feel empty and lost I mean I do all the time..but this time..theres so much emptiness that it's painful
 
omoidarui

omoidarui

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
Apr 30, 2019
993
Happy but in pain. i think a fkn spider got in my bed a few nights ago because im covered in bites, chest, back, elbow, nipples, errywhere!!
 
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Lyra

Lyra

Member
Jul 13, 2019
19
Feel like I'm just waiting to go and it feels like too long.
 
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Beautifulletdown

Beautifulletdown

Brightburn
Jul 6, 2019
231
Fucking hopeless. I wish to feel nothing but instead I feel too much.
 
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Reaper44

Reaper44

...
Jul 20, 2019
31
Terrified.
I can't find my rope anywhere and I'm freaking out. It's not where I left it and I'm scared a family member might have it. They don't know I want to CTB, but they know I'm depressed, so things could get bad if they know about the rope.
 
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oxymoron

oxymoron

Arcanist
Jul 18, 2019
439
Terrified.
I can't find my rope anywhere and I'm freaking out. It's not where I left it and I'm scared a family member might have it. They don't know I want to CTB, but they know I'm depressed, so things could get bad if they know about the rope.
That's ok. You can get ropes at Walmart.
That's ok. You can get ropes at Walmart.
Or Target idk.
 
Conflicted Cat

Conflicted Cat

Experienced
May 23, 2019
256
Depression. Tiredness. Anxiety. Fatigue. Rage. Hatred. Confliction.
 
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HappyEnding

HappyEnding

Member
Mar 23, 2019
85
Insanity and helplessness.
 
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W

wanttodie.nz

Student
Jul 24, 2019
114
Disappointment that there is another day without what I really want.
 
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SinisterKid

SinisterKid

Visionary
Jun 1, 2019
2,113
I feel a sense of elation because for once, I am in control of my own fate, something which I have not felt in a long time.
 

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