What have I done that is so horribly wrong to deserve the mental illness life has given me? I've made mistakes, just as anyone. But I have never killed anyone. I've never intentionally gone out of my way to really, truly harm anyone. I care for people. I try and do good. What have I done that the universe makes me feel this way? I am in emotional agony. I have had over a decade of my life stolen by mental illness. Over half of my life I have been suffering beyond words. Yet I have also failed so many attempts that should have killed me. I'm stuck in a cruel trap where I cannot die yet I don't respond to my countless attempts to get better. What did I do? What did I do? I'm so tired. Whatever entity is out there please make it stop. If there is no entity out there why can't I seem to die?
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