What could come after scares me shitless.

[Abort!]

Fear of the unknown.

Even when I can logically assess that death is an inevitable process, and that nothing I do here likely matters nor changes the outcome of whatever post-death state persists, I still cannot shake the feeling that something even worse may very well await me on the other side of that door.

What if I am reborn as an even worse life form on an even worse planet for example? I can run what-ifs all day long on the probability of these outcomes. I'm probably just projecting my fears into the void at this point, but why would reincarnation be an exception from the cruelty reality produces?

I've always had shit luck to begin with, so I'm not terribly keen on putting it above reality to not put me through an even worse form of suffering. Even if I know I'm rather insignificant in reality, why would reality be inclined to show me any mercy? How do you overcome that fear? I'm well aware that nobody truly knows what happens afterwards of course. Reincarnation is just one interpretation, but it's one that feels the most systematically probalistic to me.

I'm almost at the point where the risk-reward ratio makes the risk worthwhile. This place really feels like a prison planet. And yet I cannot shake the fear that knowing my death is imminent produces. Some days, my survival instinct is worse than on others. Some days I simply don't care. Regardless, I truly hope I can gain the courage to leave with my method soon.

Sometimes I'll reorient myself and become consciously aware I'm experiencing reality from a first person perspective and it gives me existential vertigo. It trips me out. Life is a glitch. It seems we are impossible anomalies. How does one come to terms with any of this shit? I just want to cry at this point.

 

[Untoten_]

As someone who has coded 3-4 times in one night, I can tell you.

I sat there in hospital after taking 102 citalopram and around 20 Propranolol, waking up with my shirt cut open and every single kind of sticky pad on my chest, surrounded by doctors.

But in that moment was the most peaceful I had ever been, It was night time and I was in a treeline, ahead of me a fireplace/bonfire in a large open clearing. Sounded like a party was happening, music, drinks, laughter (bare in mind I didn't know what was going on or what I had just attempted) there was nobody there at all, I could hear it but couldn't see anyone, but something told me NOT to sit down, so I didn't and that was when I woke up.

Everyone's deaths are different, I didn't know what was after either, but I still took the leap of faith and trusted myself that it was the right thing to do.

If you REALLY feel like there's no other way, then it's up to you entirely.

 

[Caribbean Sky]

Fear of the unknown.

Even when I can logically assess that death is inevitable process and that nothing I do here likely matters nor changes the outcome of whatever post-death state persists, I cannot shake the feeling that something even worse very well may await me on the other side of that door.

What if I am reborn as an even worse life form, or on an even worse planet for example? I can run what-ifs all day long on the probability of these outcomes. I know I'm probably just projecting my fears into the void at this point, but why would reincarnation be an exception from cruelty?

I've always had shit luck to begin with, so I'm not keen on putting it above reality to put me through an even worse form of suffering. Even if I know I'm rather insignificant in reality, why would reality be inclined to show me any mercy? How do you overcome that fear? Nobody knows exactly what happens of course. Reincarnation is just one interpretation, but it's one that feels the most probalistic to me.

I'm almost at the point where the risk-reward ratio makes the risk worthwhile.

This place really is a prison planet. I still cannot shake the fear that knowing my death is imminent produces. Some days, survival instincts are worse than others. Some days I simply don't care. Regardless, I truly hope I can gain the courage to leave with my method soon.

Sometimes, I'll reorient myself and become consciously aware I'm experiencing reality from a first person perspective and it gives me existential vertigo. Life is a glitch. It seems we are anomalies. How does one come to terms with any of this shit? I just want to cry at this point.

I believe in God.
only recently have I felt fear and a doubt, though I think that's because I'm slowly losing my mind due to illness.

death is peaceful, I think it can't be comprehended because it's beyond us. and when something you can't be comprehended, it's pretty scary.
People who are about to die have described peace.
And if you believe in God, you may believe in heaven or multiple lives
There are several things about death that seem to be comforts, almost as if to reassure us that our uncertainty doesn't mean or imply something awful or nonexistent.

Life is beautiful. I don't think it ends. I don't really know how to describe my perspective on it, so this may not be helpful, sorry. But I hope something i've said helps