What are your thoughts about suicide as an act of revenge or rebellion?

[Siamese Believe]

I see my suicide as an act of rebellion. By killing myself, I am denouncing and destroying this life I was given by my parents.

Their irresponsible, uncontrolled lust lead to my prolonged suffering. I am rejecting a life of loneliness and living as an ugly, low IQ, short autistic male.

They were indifferent to the possible suffering they could've created by having unprotected sex as teenage, unemployed high school drop outs with bad genes. These are the conversations people don't have.

They put me in this disgusting, absolutely gross body. They damned me to a life of loneliness, ostracism, poverty, mockery, humiliation, and eternal rejection from women.

I will always be hungering for something I can never achieve because I wasn't born with the means. I'll never have that nice house in the suburbs with a girlfriend that adores me and only me. I'll never have a successful career in my passions like zoology, ornithology, entomology, marine biology, etc. I'll never be a loved and renowned researcher because I don't have the IQ, looks, and charm required.

These are my moments where I feel less guilty, it isn't indicative of my entire feelings. And I do not hate my parents at all. But I hold them responsible for giving me life. And the rage runs deep. So much I can never experience because of how I am. It's like having a mouth and being unable to drink water.

The one action that brought me here, is a pleasure that I will never be able to experience for myself, love. These are the moments where dying violently sounds easy.

If I am to be forced into this existence and I cannot live the life I desired, then I will have death. One way or the other.

I'm considering touching on some of this in a suicide note, but I'm unsure yet if I will go with a long note. Or keep it short, asking my parents to bury me with my favorite blanket.

Why even waste the words, I've tried to get them to understand things from my perspective for years. To no avail. When I die they'll just blame me instead for why things turned out this way.

 

[whywere]

Now this is just my own thoughts, and I want it CLEARLY known that I am NOT EVER mean or nasty and this is NOT in that context ever.

Doing suicide for this meaning is a complete waste of a human life. Think of it this way, except for a few folks down through time that had something big in their lives, the rest of us, nobody ever remembers.

I was thinking of this the other day, as far as some folks through the decades that I either knew personally or business wise who moved on. Some had their ashes spread like on some land or the sea and nobody remembers them at all. I was thinking of me, when I am gone, who cares and who knew anything about me? Not many if anyone. I have toyed with the idea of giving my body for science endeavors and I have told a few. They were in shock, as far as how could I even think of doing something of that nature ever.

After I told them this: "nobody knows me now and when I am dust, even less, like zero". Then some folks understood.

I would never ever partake in ctb for any reasons of that nature ever, a total waste.

Walter

 

[badatparties]

That's pretty much what suicide is, you think the show sucks and cancel your subscription. A subscription we never agreed to or knew the terms of before hand.

 

[TheCavernousDeep.]

I got directly blamed by someone who killed themselves, and they blamed me when they did it. And as a form of revenge I guess it was extremely effective. Shit fucked me up hard. I still haven't recovered I don't think. But I cared about her, so if your opps don't give a shit about you then your mileage may vary.

As for the morality of it? I am opposed. Why hurt people as your final act? It seems wrong.

 

[fadedghost]

I see my suicide as an act of rebellion. By killing myself, I am denouncing and destroying this life I was given by my parents.

Their irresponsible, uncontrolled lust lead to my prolonged suffering. I am rejecting a life of loneliness and living as an ugly, low IQ, short autistic male.

They were indifferent to the possible suffering they could've created by having unprotected sex as teenage, unemployed high school drop outs with bad genes. These are the conversations people don't have.

They put me in this disgusting, absolutely gross body. They damned me to a life of loneliness, ostracism, poverty, mockery, humiliation, and eternal rejection from women.

I will always be hungering for something I can never achieve because I wasn't born with the means. I'll never have that nice house in the suburbs with a girlfriend that adores me and only me. I'll never have a successful career in my passions like zoology, ornithology, entomology, marine biology, etc. I'll never be a loved and renowned researcher because I don't have the IQ, looks, and charm required.

These are my moments where I feel less guilty, it isn't indicative of my entire feelings. And I do not hate my parents at all. But I hold them responsible for giving me life. And the rage runs deep. So much I can never experience because of how I am. It's like having a mouth and being unable to drink water.

The one action that brought me here, is a pleasure that I will never be able to experience for myself, love. These are the moments where dying violently sounds easy.

If I am to be forced into this existence and I cannot live the life I desired, then I will have death. One way or the other.

I'm considering touching on some of this in a suicide note, but I'm unsure yet if I will go with a long note. Or keep it short, asking my parents to bury me with my favorite blanket.

Why even waste the words, I've tried to get them to understand things from my perspective for years. To no avail. When I die they'll just blame me instead for why things turned out this way.

You write like someone with an IQ above 100. Are you sure you couldn't be an entomologist? I am not sure looks or charm is required for scientific stuff, just being good can suffice.

I also understand that you are in pain.

 

[Hvergelmir]

...thoughts about suicide as an act of revenge or rebellion?

I can sympathize with this, but in reality it will cause pain and not achieve anything.
So the real question ends up being whether you think causing pain is intrinsically valuable. I find it a sometimes attractive, but a fundamentally misguided idea.

I have toyed with the idea of giving my body for science endeavors and I have told a few.

That's the rational thing to do.
Just make sure to make the most out of it, first, and don't underestimate your value as a living person.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

For me, it will be to just exit existence. No need for me to prove anything or make a point. I'll be dead anyway so nothing will matter.

 

[WrathfulGloom32]

What has been your experience with women that has lead you to feel like this? You said something about girlfriend that adores me, so you believe in loyal relationships? that's something most women appreciate. You said you want to pursue animal related fields? there are a ton of people which include women that also love animals.

Someone who is short and ugly is usually from my experience ostracized by men first and not by women. Is the ostracization online? or is it in real life? did they tell you why? are you sure the people being assholes to you are even worth it pursuing?

I am genuinely asking. If you want to talk about it, you seem like a person who doesn't outright hate women, so I don't see why you would be ostracized by them? Do you associate with the wrong men? is it out of necessity? anything?

 

[StrawberryBlood]

I do see it as a form of rebellion. But I also think your priorities, what you see as an ideal life, are strange and skewed. Careers are meaningless, suburbs are white-paint concrete wastelands, "renowned researcher" is the hunt for fame, a meaningless, ego-fueled hunt. Fame is detestable. I only wish to be comfortable. I only wish for money so that I no longer require it. I only wish for death so that I might escape the people who do hunt for fame, career success, and suburban misery.

Suicide is a way of telling the world that it has failed you. Not a way of telling the world that you failed it.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think suicide is a rebellious action against life. For whatever reason, we don't or can't have the life we want so, we reject it.

As for revenge though, it likely depends on the people involved. How much responsibility they take on as people. If they don't take responsibility in life- they shift the blame, pretend to be victims themselves etc. I'm not sure they would after death either.

I began experiencing ideation when I was 10. Mostly due to the bullying from one person. In my imaginary notes, I intended to openly blame them. But, I suspect they were/ are narcissistic. They were masterful at creating stories where they were the victim. I suspect- had I done it back then, even if I had blamed them, they would have found a way to still turn things so they were the ones worthy of sympathy.

So, I think it depends on the person really. How susceptible they are to actually feeling guilt. How good they are at deflecting it too.

As for a more general kind of action against other would- be parents who maybe should think more before procreating- I doubt it would make all that much difference.

Maybe if assisted suicide were legalised and easy to qualify for and enough (especially young) people used it- would- be parents would actually consider it a possibility they could lose their children. Therefore making them think more carefully about what they would be giving their children in terms of genes and hereditary weaknesses and, the environment they would be bringing them into. How likely would it be their child would succeed in life and, want to live? Maybe that would have an effect but random suicides here and there I doubt do all that much. They likely just think we are mentally unsound.

 

[antorrodel_7327]

Not here to comment on the rationality of "the thing" here, but my situation is painfully similar to yours ... the women don't like me because I have neither the looks nor the charm. Like you, I've wanted a career in academia (physics and math in my case) but I am too unintelligent for that; at the least I don't fit in socially in any lab I join, all my coworkers, supervisors secretly pity me if not outright hate or dislike me. It's easy to see that none of them have a very high opinion of myself.

I'm probably ND too, but don't have the funds to get into therapy ... I'm at a age where most people already start holding jobs, yet here I am -- unemployed, lonely ... no jobs because I have no connections. It's a torture to be living this way. Were I in the possession of even one of looks, charisma or intelligence, I wouldn't nearly be as unhappy ... and my life would be worth living.

I feel nothing but rage at the charlatans who keep talking about "communities", "equality" -- whatever gibberish crosses their dogmatic and idealistic minds. The world is deeply and intrinsically competitive at its core. There is no 'community', no help, no assistance, no empathy once you're struggling -- not even these virtue signallers would help you ... in fact depending on your situation they may be the first ones to mock, take pleasure in your suffering. Everyone's an ableist or 'capitalist' with respect to things that come naturally to them. Whoever fed us the rubbish idealistic model of the world in childhood deserves ten slaps in the face.

 

[RosebyAnyName]

I relate to this. To me, suicide is the ultimate proof that society was mistaken about me. I never asked to be born, and life isn't inherently worthwhile. If people really want to reproduce without thinking about if it's a good idea first, then I hope to be proof of the consequences of that mentality. "Actually, no, reproduction is not always a good idea."

Although, even if people don't go into it with the mindset of "I'm making a statement," people are going to treat suicides like a statement anyways and they're always going to come up with their own interpretation anyways. Usually that interpretation involves blaming the suicidal person and deflecting as much blame against themselves as possible, regardless of the logic behind it.