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rustcohle4life

rustcohle4life

I'm bad at parties
Mar 16, 2025
248
Talk about the boulevard of broken dreams. I don't know, there's a few things i could of done. I'm a meticulous and detail oriented person so i think i would of done a good job in whatever i did.

In a perfect world, i would of loved to have a wife and 3 kids and pass down life, wisdom and knowledge to another generation.

But i know we're not created to thrive here and it's just a trap. This place truly sucks and it's no wonder people are only happy as naive children.
 
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Obliviate

Obliviate

Abandon All Hope
Aug 13, 2022
956
It's funny I was just thinking about this. And there happened to be a thread posted!
I wanted to be a marine biologist. That was my dream as a kid. I even got into a school with a decent program for it. But everyone viewed the school as a "safety" school. A school that anyone can get into it and is worth nothing. I was ashamed to attend and make my parents disappointed in me so I lied and said I wanted to be a game developer. I went to another school and rotted there for four years learning absolutely nothing. As soon as I come back home to start anew, I get into a horrible accident that destroys my face. It's all my fault.
Stop..........Marine Biologist was my new dream. If I could do it all again I would 100% work with animals. Alas it will stay a dream.

No see this is why I hate humans because all for "reputation" and "snooty attention seeking society" purposes?!?! They should have been SO proud of you for getting into a program in general! I literally feel proud just reading that statement! I don't understand how marine biologist is worse than a game developer?

I'm so sorry about the accident. If my kid said they wanted to be a marine biologist I would have been so proud. We need more people who are going into fields to help with animals.
 
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rustcohle4life

rustcohle4life

I'm bad at parties
Mar 16, 2025
248
I've always wanted to be a writer.
I feel that what I have to say doesn't matter though, because I have let the illness win for so long.
It's convinced me so.
I let anxiety hold me back, and I don't want my name attached to any work I produce.

I walk a fine line between wanting praise and feeling too embarrassed to show anyone anything I've done because I struggle with adequacy.
Many authors are anonymous nowadays, especially with the internet. A lot make a living from it. You can still write. Try platforms like Ko-fi, RoyalRoad, Wattpad etc. You can get anonymous donations on Ko-fi where people buy you a coffee.

There's also Patreon.
 
Obliviate

Obliviate

Abandon All Hope
Aug 13, 2022
956
But i know we're not created to thrive here and it's just a trap. This place truly sucks and it's no wonder people are only happy as naive children.
Heavy on this place is just a trap and we're not meant to thrive. This is when I realized I need to stop trying to be "perfect" in a world that we were put into that causes misery majority of the time
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
12,935
I followed my (creative) dreams but it eventually occured to me that- not only was I not talented enough to reach the very top but often, people in those jobs are treated terribly. So, why even bother? I've known 6 out of 6 people say they were treated badly!

It was actually more of a weird relief in a way- to stop pushing myself so hard and try to be content where I was. Sadly, that's slipping now too though.
 
N

npC_0

Member
Aug 8, 2025
5
The truth is that when I was little I always loved animals, all kinds, I used to catch ladybugs, frogs, everything hahaha, I don't understand how I'm afraid of them now, (I even went into the river in the summer with a friend from the village) and we used to make mashed bananas with yogurt, staining my kitchen. I wanted to be a veterinarian, I saw many calves being born, I helped in many cow births pulling the rope, and I helped older cats to give birth (I almost had a heart attack for that), I took care of the chicks when the broody hens had them after 21 days incubating and I would peek through the door of the henhouse to watch. But then my father would kill the males and I would cry because they all had names. Let's say that this impossible idea lasted until I saw the caesarean section of a cow and she almost died and I almost vomited. Then came the idea of being a psychologist or a branch of this rather, the truth is I would like the idea of understanding others but ... I do not know people I like less and less, I can not stand even me, as to look at people who harass in institutes or issues like that (bad for me you have to be neutral, I know).

The only thing I know is that I would like to be allowed to at least drive home again and look for a job even if it was for four hours, I need to get out of the house and see people even if I hate them and pretend to like them, even if I hate social protocols.
 
Pluto

Pluto

Cat Extremist
Dec 27, 2020
5,672
e0c6654a773354dad2b7d8c877647a91-jpg.77943
 
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