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HelpWhat are you going to say in your letter?
Thread starterRustysoupcan
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I'm drafting my letter, and I feel like I just don't know what to say other than I'm sorry and I love you. I'm not addressing it to any specific person as to not let anyone feel left out, but it will mostly be for my parents. So I'm just wondering, for those that will leave a letter or any sort of goodbye, what will you say?
Reactions:
ghost_, Callie Arcale and Dead Meat
F
Flying Away
A listening ear is better than suffering in silenc
I'm drafting my letter, and I feel like I just don't know what to say other than I'm sorry and I love you. I'm not addressing it to any specific person as to not let anyone feel left out, but it will mostly be for my parents. So I'm just wondering, for those that will leave a letter or any sort of goodbye, what will you say?
I plan to only write a note to close family members. My note will act as closure. I plan to say things like 'there is nothing you could have done' and 'now I am at peace and free from suffering'. Having this note will mean they are not left with unanswered questions. I will try to make them understand why I have chosen to do this, but I doubt that they would ever really be able to fully understand no matter what I wrote.
Reactions:
Callie Arcale, Dead Meat, DarkTear and 1 other person
I wasn't going to leave a note, but today I had a revelation: I don't want a funeral. I feel very strongly about it. Just put me in a coffin and bury me. No fuss, no flowers, no nothing.
Of course I know that funerals are for the people you leave behind. But I've been a people pleaser all my life, so I'm gonna go ahead and give myself permission to be super selfish when I die.
I'll probably write a very short note to leave instructions not to have a funeral.
Reactions:
I should go, arnd, layne2001 and 2 others
I wasn't going to leave a note, but today I had a revelation: I don't want a funeral. I feel very strongly about it. Just put me in a coffin and bury me. No fuss, no flowers, no nothing.
Of course I know that funerals are for the people you leave behind. But I've been a people pleaser all my life, so I'm gonna go ahead and give myself permission to be super selfish when I die.
I'll probably write a very short note to leave instructions not to have a funeral.
I hope you have family that will respect your wishes. I also don't want a funeral and just want my remains to be cremated and thrown away. But I really doubt my family will do this. They always did whatever they felt like regardless of my wishes.
I think the only way to ensure this is to talk to a lawyer and set your wishes in a legal document. Otherwise your fate will be up to your family. At the end of the day you won't be around to know either way.
I hope you have family that will respect your wishes. I also don't want a funeral and just want my remains to be cremated and thrown away. But I really doubt my family will do this. They always did whatever they felt like regardless of my wishes.
I think the only way to ensure this is to talk to a lawyer and set your wishes in a legal document. Otherwise your fate will be up to your family. At the end of the day you won't be around to know either way.
I used to be so compelled with writing notes but now it's meh. Keeping it simple and short.
"No funeral or obituary. Cremation and ashes put in lake [near where I live]."
This is assuming I go through ctb. Still waiting until the end of the year to decide or not even though I'm in so much pain right now I can't even describe it.
I honestly don't know whether I'll even write a letter. If I do, it will be to my parents. Probably something I think will comfort them, like the fact I'll be in peace after suffering for so long, and that none of it is their fault - moreso that I simply was not meant for this world at this time.
I really care about those that love me and care about me just not myself unfortunately.
To that end, no blame to anyone and try to make them understand they couldn't have seen this coming. To ask if they can to remember the old happy me as those are my last memories I will have of them.
Eu queria sĂł dizer que nao estava sendo egoĂsta, todos os que me julgassem perante ato de liberdade estariam sendo egoĂsta por eu me manter vivo ainda, mesmo se sentido exausto.
I'm going to start my letter with the phrase "I've made this decision with clear and sound mind" so they understand that this is something I've thought through logically and decided on, rather than an emotional spur of the moment. I hope this will quell any thoughts of "if only I had done x, I could have saved them"
I plan on taking the high road if possible. Not blame anyone,etc. I'm very upset right now but I don't want people to think there was something they could have done when there truly wasn't. I don't feel like singling anyone out either. It's a fairly general note.
Reactions:
Callie Arcale, cambrai33, Ego Sum Medusa and 1 other person
I plan on taking the high road if possible. Not blame anyone,etc. I'm very upset right now but I don't want people to think there was something they could have done when there truly wasn't. I don't feel like singling anyone out either. It's a fairly general note.
That was always my plan as well, when I was truly suicidal. The most important thing about the short note that I planned was to make it clear that it was no one's fault and there was nothing anyone could have done.
I used to draft proper letters, addressing each person of importance with an "I'm sorry" or something I liked about them. Separated into paragraphs and formatted. The more I've looked back on those the less I like them. I could never truly get across what I would want to say if I am to die by suicide.
My current letter is more of an open story or poem. As you read through it shows a little snapshot of things I deem the current biggest struggles, living with BPD, reconnecting with the world after lockdown, with dicey at best mental health support. Sprinkled in is some thankful messages to certain people and some wishes I have for them.
Even for myself I find it a difficult read (when in a somewhat better mindset) and I don't know whether it'll be the final one but it feels most true to me. I don't feel like I'm trying to hide the ugly truth of mh struggles like in previous letters.
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