Discussion What are you doing in your final days/hours?

[newjourney]

I've seen a lot of planned actions for how to CTB, but as I now have a plan, I am curious about the last few days/hours and what to actually do. It is quite an important time.

Firstly, I've chosen SN as my CTB method, mainly due to the ease of getting the antiemetics and SN. While not ideal it seems the best option for a solitary end, at least for me.

I've been getting more and more curious about two things:

•What to do in the last days?
&
•What to do in the final hours?

I know that each one of us is going through a unique set of challenges and circumstances so I would love to hear what people have got to say with regards to these. This can range from anything but some examples are hobbies, righting wrongs, forgiveness, quiet time, speaking to strangers etc.

Curious to hear other people's thoughts on this…

:)

 

[nymb]

i am starving myself and not sleeping for being sleepy when i use SN these days so i'll sleep and dont even feel anything while SN is working, I just fear vomitting while sleeping but i dont rlly care I'll wake up and drink another glass, since i dont ever use that bed again i dont need to clean it, also i spend time in forum to kill time.

in my final hours i'll probably just listen to music and wait for my dad to sleep, so he will not hear sounds if i vomit. I dont have too much things to do except listening music or openning a thread and lively update it.

 

[Traveller12724]

This is what I have in mind if there is no ctb partner

1. Day -3 : I will go play soccer because I have always loved playing soccer ever since I was a kid.

2. Day -2 : I will go to the beach, take in the breeze and ocean water smell, enjoy the sunshine, then go to my favorite restaurant for lunch or dinner.

3. Day -1 : I will go hiking up in the mountains (there is this spot that's secluded from everything and just surrounded by beautiful nature), I am gonna enjoy that view, and then go home and cook my all time favorite meal as my last meal, and then that night I will watch my all time favorite tv show Prison Break.

4. On the day : wake up, put on some good sad music, take prerequisite meds for sn, prepare sn, and start a goodbye thread, drink sn, update the goodbye thread until I am gone.

The most important thing on the day of my death is that I won't make a big deal out of it, no reason to be scared or feel anxious, I have felt enough fear, anxiety and despair in my lifetime that I will be damned if I allow them to steal my peace on my final day. I will just show up, do what I need to do, endure what needs enduring with sn and get my rest.

 

[F@#$]

I will be carrying out my twisted and brutal plans for some well earned revenge.

 

[lost_ange1]

I don't know yet but I will know when it's time. I'm not much of a planner so...
Probably write a suicide note for my family, maybe for some friend.

 

[newjourney]

I will be carrying out my twisted and brutal plans for some well earned revenge.

I hope you reconsider. As you know this world is negative enough, it could use some much needed positivity

This is what I have in mind if there is no ctb partner

1. Day -3 : I will go play soccer because I have always loved playing soccer ever since I was a kid.

2. Day -2 : I will go to the beach, take in the breeze and ocean water smell, enjoy the sunshine, then go to my favorite restaurant for lunch or dinner.

3. Day -1 : I will go hiking up in the mountains (there is this spot that's secluded from everything and just surrounded by beautiful nature), I am gonna enjoy that view, and then go home and cook my all time favorite meal as my last meal, and then that night I will watch my all time favorite tv show Prison Break.

4. On the day : wake up, put on some good sad music, take prerequisite meds for sn, prepare sn, and start a goodbye thread, drink sn, update the goodbye thread until I am gone.

The most important thing on the day of my death is that I won't make a big deal out of it, no reason to be scared or feel anxious, I have felt enough fear, anxiety and despair in my lifetime that I will be damned if I allow them to steal my peace on my final day. I will just show up, do what I need to do, endure what needs enduring with sn and get my rest.

This is so great! Thank you for sharing

 

[newjourney]

Thank you all for sharing!

If you need help or just want to talk about stuff my door is open

In the mean time, keep them coming! I really think this thread can help a lot of people

 

[dumed1]

This is what I have in mind if there is no ctb partner

1. Day -3 : I will go play soccer because I have always loved playing soccer ever since I was a kid.

2. Day -2 : I will go to the beach, take in the breeze and ocean water smell, enjoy the sunshine, then go to my favorite restaurant for lunch or dinner.

3. Day -1 : I will go hiking up in the mountains (there is this spot that's secluded from everything and just surrounded by beautiful nature), I am gonna enjoy that view, and then go home and cook my all time favorite meal as my last meal, and then that night I will watch my all time favorite tv show Prison Break.

4. On the day : wake up, put on some good sad music, take prerequisite meds for sn, prepare sn, and start a goodbye thread, drink sn, update the goodbye thread until I am gone.

The most important thing on the day of my death is that I won't make a big deal out of it, no reason to be scared or feel anxious, I have felt enough fear, anxiety and despair in my lifetime that I will be damned if I allow them to steal my peace on my final day. I will just show up, do what I need to do, endure what needs enduring with sn and get my rest.

This seems like quite a nice life, why would you want it to end?

 

[norkz]

Well this is an interesting one here, I would probably spend time with my bf, my brother and pets. And then watching fav movies, listening to fav music, eating fav meal etc
It's hard to think it'll be the last time being with them and oh how I wish they knew it was the last times and they enjoyed it more.
By the way I tried to send you a dm I can't don't know why maybe you can send me one if you're interesting into a private chat :)

 

[Nothing87]

This is what I'm gonna do during my last days/hours and I would like to share it ^^

• Quit my work

• Sell my valuable stuff

• Donate to trusted charity

• Cook and eat my favourite food for the last time

• Go hiking and see the night sky one last time

• Prepare myself for taking SN and AE

• Listen to Linkin Park and Audioslave songs in my last hours

 

[Sunttu1997]

Get so bored I want to die

 

[lacrimosa]

I haven't given this much thought so thank you to the starter of this thread to create this topic.

If I had a week left, this is what I would do.

Day 7 - Write my last will and testament.

Day 6 - Binge watch Band of Brothers. Order kit to CTB or find a suitable method to CTB where it will look like an accident.

Day 5 - Spend time with my mother helping around the house.

Day 4 - Get rid of things/throw away things that she won't need and tidy up my room.

Day 3 - Write my suicide note and schedule it to be emailed months after I CTB.

Day 2 - Give my cat the best day ever by spoiling him.

Day 1 - Spend the day with my father and then CTB while listening to Pink Floyd's The Wall.

 

[newjourney]

This is what I'm gonna do during my last days/hours and I would like to share it ^^

• Quit my work

• Sell my valuable stuff

• Donate to trusted charity

• Cook and eat my favourite food for the last time

• Go hiking and see the night sky one last time

• Prepare myself for taking SN and AE

• Listen to Linkin Park and Audioslave songs in my last hours

I'm going to include a hike and stargazing in mine too… think I need to add some LP songs to my playlist

I haven't given this much thought so thank you to the starter of this thread to create this topic.

If I had a week left, this is what I would do.

Day 7 - Write my last will and testament.

Day 6 - Binge watch Band of Brothers. Order kit to CTB or find a suitable method to CTB where it will look like an accident.

Day 5 - Spend time with my mother helping around the house.

Day 4 - Get rid of things/throw away things that she won't need and tidy up my room.

Day 3 - Write my suicide note and schedule it to be emailed months after I CTB.

Day 2 - Give my cat the best day ever by spoiling him.

Day 1 - Spend the day with my father and then CTB while listening to Pink Floyd's The Wall.

I really like this 1 week idea. A lot of people are planning to do a final week and pack in as much as they can. Think I'm going to have to steal that idea:)

Get so bored I want to die

If you want to chat I'm around

 

[newjourney]

Well this is an interesting one here, I would probably spend time with my bf, my brother and pets. And then watching fav movies, listening to fav music, eating fav meal etc
It's hard to think it'll be the last time being with them and oh how I wish they knew it was the last times and they enjoyed it more.
By the way I tried to send you a dm I can't don't know why maybe you can send me one if you're interesting into a private chat :)

Yes of course! I think it's because I'm new and not posted enough but will dm asap :)

 

[souleater]

Write my last will and testament, record a video saying goodbye. Make sure everything is in place for my family. Don't want them to suffer too much.

 

[Defenestration]

Write my last will and testament, record a video saying goodbye. Make sure everything is in place for my family. Don't want them to suffer too much.

I do a letter and vocal for my family

 

[souleater]

I do a letter and vocal for my family

I tried to record one but couldn't get to the end of what I'd planned to say. It's harder than I first thought it would be to say goodbye.

 

[b1cycle]

Maybe I'll have a cigar and think about life

 

[Defenestration]

J'ai essayé d'en enregistrer un mais je n'ai pas réussi à aller jusqu'au bout de ce que j'avais prévu de dire. C'est plus dur que je ne l'avais pensé de dire au revoir.

Me zéro emotionnal...automatic

 

[Neon Grave]

This seems like quite a nice life, why would you want it to end?

This is what they want out of their last days, not what their everyday life experience is. We have no idea what they're going through.

 

[Traveller12724]

This seems like quite a nice life, why would you want it to end?

I am making a nice exit to a life filled with nothing but pain, misery, shame, despair, and never-ending mental torment. I hope your circumstances are better than mine, best of luck to you my friend!

 

[Trakehner]

Watch some of my favorite movies, listen to music, write suicide note, final meal, maybe record a goodbye video

 

[SecretAgent420]

i am starving myself and not sleeping for being sleepy when i use SN these days so i'll sleep and dont even feel anything while SN is working, I just fear vomitting while sleeping but i dont rlly care I'll wake up and drink another glass, since i dont ever use that bed again i dont need to clean it, also i spend time in forum to kill time.

in my final hours i'll probably just listen to music and wait for my dad to sleep, so he will not hear sounds if i vomit. I dont have too much things to do except listening music or openning a thread and lively update it.

Why would you kill yourself in your dad's home that's extremely selfish and awful WTF! Seriously we're all depressed and suicidal here but have some god damned respect for others, especially loved ones. Why would you traumatize innocents because of our own flaws and weakness?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

When I was very close to attempting, I was too numb to do anything. I think I probably do nothing, only the necessary things that have to be done for a successful attempt.

 

[baller]

Make sure im on good terms with the people I love, drive to some far away hotel with the story of 'going out with my friends for birthday/newy ears' write a will and testament, read over suicide note, eat some food (if it doesn't interfere with my method), die

 

[nymb]

Why would you kill yourself in your dad's home that's extremely selfish and awful WTF! Seriously we're all depressed and suicidal here but have some god damned respect for others, especially loved ones. Why would you traumatize innocents because of our own flaws and weakness?

i have no other choice, i dont wanna talk about that topic

 

[ninfanatic]

i have no other choice, i dont wanna talk about that topic

You're understood over here.

 

[Nefera]

On the last days I'll probably be checking if everything is set up correctly (personal documents, legal business stuff, auto-send emails, texts and posts), deep clean the whole house and leave my cat with a friend that I'm sure will take good care of him.

On the last few hours I'll just be listening to my CTB playlist as I sit on a chair at the balcony sunbathing until I'm off!

 

[ninfanatic]

I've got a few weeks roughly because of my chosen method, so I've been writing, listening to music, trying to distract from mental noise mostly. Ironically even now I'm still trying to cut down on smoking. I've also been hanging out with my friends, taking advantage of the fact that I'm still early in, and messaging my online ones.

 

[newjourney]

You have no other choice? Why can't you go some place else like the woods, the desert, on a mountain, I don't know there is so many peaceful places to do that it makes absolutely no sense to do it in your father's home, as if it wasn't enough to deal with his child's suicide now he would have to move because there is no way he could stay there after that. I've seen so many videos of people killing themselves in their parents homes, traumatizing their entire families it's just stupid and senseless, just pathetic I'm sorry but it's true. I signed up for this website obviously because I'm suicidal too but if I do it I would do it in my truck like a fucking man I would drive away from the city and park in the desert, and wouldn't post shit on social media like "bye everyone I love you" Bull shit. Definitely I would drink a shit ton to stop the nervousness, and I would use the exit bag method.

I understand your frustration but there are far better ways to address this issue. You really shouldn't be attacking and making people feel worse than they already do. For one reason or another, we're all here because life to us is not worth living, so let's just be amicable and help each other as best we can.

i have no other choice, i dont wanna talk about that topic

We can help, dm me if you want

Maybe I'll have a cigar and think about life

Haha classy! I like it