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xLosthopex

xLosthopex

Tell my dogs I love them
May 29, 2020
1,133
My dogs, my lack of motivation to get my affairs in order due to depression, also I have anorexia and would like to get back to my lowest weight before ctb, a big part of my sense of identity and purpose in this world revolves around my ED and looking deathly skinny...(I know this probably sounds ridiculous to those without eating disorders)
 
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LonelyDude15

LonelyDude15

Currently Spiraling
Sep 26, 2020
276
Wanna catch up on some stuff and I'm waiting to see if anything happens in the meantime that might change my mind
 
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gnomeboy17

gnomeboy17

Specialist
Feb 11, 2020
355
Knowing I could kill myself at any moment (since I bought SN in February) has made life worth living. I can try to do something and worse case scenario, I fuck it up, no problem, I can just die. But that's what makes life so good, that I have this choice. Without it I wanted to die so much, but having SN has greatly decreased my stress in day to day life.
 
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Z

Zenpurrz

Member
Oct 31, 2020
19
I honestly feel like my cats are the only reason I am still alive right now as they are really the only thing that bring me any vestige of happiness anymore. I have to make arrangements for them where I know they will be loved and well taken care of after I am gone. Selfishly I would like to spend my last hours with them by my side, but I don't like the idea of them having to spend time with my corpse afterwards, so I have some thinking and planning to do in that respect. I also have to settle on my exact method of expiration, then obtain it, and write down a few things; final thoughts and wishes...
 
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Chronicillness

Chronicillness

Experienced
Jun 19, 2018
236
I think just fear at the moment, because I am nearly out of hope, so primal fear keeps the engines churning, even if I beg for mercy — fear keeps me alive. I think there has to be a genetic component to my inability to kill myself even
after all the suffering I have gone through and am currently enduring. It's logical to kill oneself in my position, and illogical to continue being tortured like this.
 
Last edited:
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antigone_iris

antigone_iris

Wizard
Oct 25, 2020
650
My family and me being a hopeful idiot are keeping me from ctb. I keep hoping for things to get better. Aaaaand I'm a chicken.
 
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suicidesheep31

suicidesheep31

Specialist
Jun 27, 2020
348
I first need to finish some task at work. Unfortunately, it can take some times before I finish it but I have to do it because I don't want to cause troubles to my colleagues
 
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D

draw a circle

out.
Apr 10, 2020
300
My friends that i met thru this forum.... I've been talking with a few of them and they're nice and everything I could ask for in a friend. I still think I should do it but I'd feel bad leaving them and i don't wanna leave them anyway.
 
Last edited:
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Merlay

Merlay

you need to die if you want to go to heaven
Oct 24, 2020
32
I'm not mad enough. I'm not crazy enough. Still not empty enough. At least, I have something to look forward to in this shitty life.
 
Studio84

Studio84

Archangel
Sep 7, 2020
8,260
The hurt and devastation it would cause my extremely supportive and loving family is pretty much the only thing stopping me... And maybe deep down I'm a tiny bit afraid that sn is nowhere near as peaceful and painless as its portrayed to be.
 
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Reactions: LonelyDude15

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