Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.
If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.
Donate via cryptocurrency:
Bitcoin (BTC):
Ethereum (ETH):
Monero (XMR):
What are the meanings behind your profile pics and names for this website?
Thread starterSaudade
Start date
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly. You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
Al.ce is simply my name with a . instead of the i (I know, very original...). My pfp is from my favorite animated movie of all time: Porco Rosso (that thing is a goddamn masterpiece). I think that particular screenshot captures perfectly my general state of being
It summarizes my belief which is: first try to find sunny days, and then try to get rid of the clouds and if for unsurmountable reasons you are still not getting sunshine then choose a damn reliable method that can make your situation better and not any worse. So here to gain knowledge and provide help regarding both sides of the coin.
My profile pic shows both sunshine and clouds. For me the clouds are moving in and it is pretty dark. Still have some little hope that the clouds could clear but I am not fully betting on that alone.
At 10 years old, I was diagnosed with severe ulcerative colitis, which is an extremely painful disease. My large intestine was covered in bleeding ulcers. Also, the side effects of the medications were so depressing. My face was very bloated and my hair was falling out. I used to look up to God, and ask, why me? I have a whole lot of other extremely unlucky things happen to me, so at 42 years old, the question still pops up in my mind, why me? At least I logically now know that it's not because God hates me or I'm cursed, it's because there is no God, and bad things just randomly happen to people by chance, including children. But even knowing that, I still ask, why me? Especially because my issues are so unlucky & such a rare combination.
Through The Light is sort of a metaphor for ctb. It was the name of an online suicide forum in a book I read. My pfp is supposed to depict going through the light.
Emile Durkheim was a sociologist and philosopher who wrote On Suicide and it was my first introduction to the rationale behind suicide without shame + cat because the only joy I had was my cats.
Der Steppenwolf is a 1926 poetical novel by Hermann Hesse, about a middle-aged writer living in interbellum Germany who believes himself to be half-man half-wolf. He speaks out against the preparations for World War II, and contemplates suicide when no one understands him. My avatar is a detail from the animated section of the 1974 film adaptation of the book, drawn by Jaroslav Bradáč.
"The moon stood up on the ridge
Looking down where the water shines
And a man looking over the bridge
Like he'd done so many times
Thinking about how to stay out
Out of trouble's way
Flying to fall away from you all
It's over, division day
Beautiful division day"
The pfp is Sunny from omori hugging Basil who as you can tell is reacting poorly to it. Thats practically me whenever i get a hug i cant feel physical affection it seems so it is always despair everytime i receive it. the other thing is that my name fallintotheshadows is from final fantasy dissidia which is a line that Sephiroth uses whenever he dies is that "I'll fall into the shadows"
My profile includes the name of one of my favorite Samurai clans that I've learnt about. A prominent family that rose to the position of Kanto-Kanrei established under Uesugi Noriaki in the Muromachi Bakufu, fell from power after the emergence of the Odawara Hojo but rose again to be a powerful Sengoku clan under the leadership of the one the most fearsome and powerful warlords of the period, Uesugi Terutora (Kenshin).
401kill is a song by my favorite band Rise Against that talks about the meaninglessness of working our lives away 9-5 and feeling like a cog in the wheel with nothing to gain. I replaced kill with kind, because in my mind I want to invest in spreading tenderness & love instead of some future I may or may not even have. And, my profile picture is Taylor Swift because a huge reason why I haven't CTB'd is because of the community she has created. I've found so much solace in her music and in her as a person. When I post about wanting to die on here, I just want a little reminder as to why I keep going and my username and profile picture do exactly that.
i typed out a keyboard smash for my user cause i couldnt think of what to call myself on this site lol. i wanted to stay anonymous, where anyone i know outside sasu will not recognize that it is me (in the rare case they even happen upon sasu). ive decided a few days after making an account, though, that ill just call myself prince. im trans and its an old name i used to go by. nobody knows me as prince, its perfect, and i quite like the name. my profile picture means nothing, its just whatever i think looks cool on my profile haha
Saudade (English: /saʊˈdɑːdə/,[1] European Portuguese: [sɐwˈðaðɨ], Galician: [sawˈðaðɪ]; plural saudades)[2] is an emotional state of melancholic or profoundly nostalgic longing for a beloved yet absent something or someone. It is often associated with a repressed understanding that one might never encounter the recipient of longing ever again. It is a recollection of feelings, experiences, places, or events— often illusive —[citation needed] that cause a sense of separation from the exciting, pleasant, or joyous sensations they once caused. It derives from the Latin word for solitude.[3]
Nascimento and Meandro (2005)[4] cite Duarte Nunes Leão's definition of saudade: "Memory of something with a desire for it."
In Brazil, the day of Saudade is officially celebrated on 30 January.[5][6] It is not a widely acknowledged day in Portugal.
Yes, saudade is a Portuguese word. It's really nice as a translation into English doesn't exist. It's a very tenuous feeling/sensation in relation to something/someone you long for.
As for my profile picture here it comes from the promotional pictures of the album Pornography by The Cure.
broth cuz i love soup (best food, easy to eat when u dont feel like eating) and pfp is just a meme i found n i saved it cuz its silly and reminds me of my brazilian friends
My name is LonelyStarrySky because it is connected with night which is my favourite time of the day, and I feel really lonely because of being abanonded so many times and struggled to make meaningfull and lasting friendships.
My profile picture is Akane Kurokawa from the manga/anime Oshi no Ko. Spoilers from here: she is a character who really resonated with me. She was bullied on twitter because of something she did on reality tv dating show and she attempted CTB. I cried while watching her moments and after that she really resonated with me a lot. I like that she stayed alive because I got to see more of her. But it would have been more tragic if she did pass away. I can talk about that manga so much because it is my favourite.
Saudade (English: /saʊˈdɑːdə/,[1] European Portuguese: [sɐwˈðaðɨ], Galician: [sawˈðaðɪ]; plural saudades)[2] is an emotional state of melancholic or profoundly nostalgic longing for a beloved yet absent something or someone. It is often associated with a repressed understanding that one might never encounter the recipient of longing ever again. It is a recollection of feelings, experiences, places, or events— often illusive —[citation needed] that cause a sense of separation from the exciting, pleasant, or joyous sensations they once caused. It derives from the Latin word for solitude.[3]
Nascimento and Meandro (2005)[4] cite Duarte Nunes Leão's definition of saudade: "Memory of something with a desire for it."
In Brazil, the day of Saudade is officially celebrated on 30 January.[5][6] It is not a widely acknowledged day in Portugal.
Super = first name of a game
GIP = acronym for a website
Basically at the time of creating my name here on SS I was thinking and thinking, until I saw the google chrome favorites and joined the two.
Profile picture is the characters in Omori just because I love that game & its portrayal of metal health issues (and plus only like two people in my real life know that I've played it/ what it even is). Name is a nod to my career aspiration and the fact that I'm depressed as hell.
I playfully call my mental health conditions "brainworms" when I'm feeling especially unwell. Like "oooo the brainworms are really at it again today," or "I got the depression brainworms kicking my ass." My icon is a gif from one of my favorite musicians, iamamiwhoami, who started out making cryptic music videos with no indication of the identities of the people creating them. The lightbulb imagery seemed fitting when it comes to active ideation. It's also from a video that came out during one of my first really serious suicidal depressive episodes.
My name 'avaruus' is a finnish word for 'space' as in a celestial / astronomical way.
The etmology of it is kinda beautiful; 'avara' means 'vast'. So avaruus is kinda like 'vastness' in a way but not quite.
It's hard to explain but finnish people probably get what i mean.
Also my avatar is a gif of a cat, who looks so done with life.
I like cats and the expression is literally me.
my name and profile picture is a carseat headrest album i listened to during my last suicide attempt. hearing 'high to death', a song from the album, was ironic since i was taking a shitton of pills to overdose. also hearing the lyrics 'i dont want to die' over and over again made convinced me to go to the ER.
i know we dont have to explain our little caption thingy, but i want to anyway, 'happy news for sadness' is a song i had stuck in my head while i was crying in the psych ward after the attempt.
This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.