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My experience is the same. This is the Recovery section though. If you're determined to believe you're entirely fucked, then so be it. But realize you're making a choice. You ultimately choose how to look at your life. With a silver lining or with none
I think a huge benefit would be having the understanding/ empathy to help others who have experienced the same thing.
Exactly. Clearly a lot of people here have chosen to let their experience negatively impact them and be a victim. I refuse to be the victim but each to their own.
There's benifits, sure.
Amen
You're further along than me. I'm jealous. But I have ocd as well and it worms its way into everything and it's not clear how to combat it.
You're making assumptions. Not trying to find consolation in trauma doesn't mean people are intent on being the victim. Think about what the word "benefit" in the original question implies. Recovery from PTSD isn't as simple as "choosing" not to be impacted by an experience.
I think that maybe you have suffered that type of abuse and you are trying to get the positive part of it (if not so I apologize)... but I do not think there is any benefit in it, the qualities that you say can be developed with a normal childhood and you don't need to have traumas to be super independent.
If it were that easy, the brain wouldn't block the traumas so that you couldn't even remember them. Tell me, how can you choose not to be the victim of something you don't even know because it is such a terrible memory that your brain has decided to hide it from yourself and still conditions you in your life?
Can we please not treat people being hurt by other people and not wanting to look at it as a good thing as them making themselves victims? Some people deal with trauma by focusing on how it might help them and that's valid. But healing from trauma doesn't have to mean looking on the bright side. It's equally valid to say "this sucked and what happened to me was wrong and wasn't fair and I didn't deserve that" and leave it at that. And if people haven't reached that point in any way yet that's okay too. We don't need to treat them as weak or lesser or like it's their fault for not having your mindset and way of dealing with it.
I'd argue theres no benifit that can't be archived through non abusive means like all of the goods you mentioned can be also archieved with non abusive means.
Each to their own but it is my strong belief that a choice I have is to be a victim or not. No one can make me be a victim.
No one said the abuse was a good thing or needed. It's about how many of turn the situation around and turn it to good. It's either that or sit in pity for life as a victim.
I didn't learn how to be a hardened badass from the experience like I hoped I would. I'm just weaker mentally in a lot of ways when around people. In my personal life, being fiercely independent is good and bad. Resilience has carried me this far but life just gets harder.
