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Melancholique

Melancholique

Member
Apr 15, 2023
14
Here's my list:

1. Knowing the fact that everyone will die in the end no matter who they were, how much money they had or how lucky they got in their lives. Even then, it wouldn't matter because we all die.

2. Having to work a shitty job for almost the rest of your life just to make ends meet, most people aren't happy with their careers.

3. Aging and missing out on certain things you should've done in your younger days

4. Any sort of traumatic experiences

5. Knowing that earth is probably the only habitable in the universe.
 
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why am i alive?

why am i alive?

Look where i ended
Oct 18, 2023
84
The fact that nothing is permanent and our suffering is for nothing.
 
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tronix

tronix

Member
Mar 23, 2024
79
Forever alone. I don't think I'll ever trust again.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
7,840
For me, it's mostly that I don't want to have to earn money to sustain a life that I don't want to live and don't feel the desire to try and make better so that I want to live it. Basically- why should I live as a slave?

If life is pretty ok and I still don't want it- that must mean that I do actually really want out? Right? Makes sense to me anyhow. If your 'best life' isn't enough, then, there's nowhere else to go.

So- factually for me, there are many things I've tried in life that haven't worked to my satisfaction and I don't see why I should either repeat them hoping for a different result or, undertake things I have no interest in doing to see if they work instead- like I say, I've done a bunch of that already.

Plus- the general facts that I don't want to experience old age and illness and I don't really like the look of this world, or where it's headed. There's very little holding me here.
 
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lita-lassi

lita-lassi

let me spell it out for you: go to hell
Sep 25, 2023
438
the number of species that go extinct every single day because we wont stop destroying the planet
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
9,241
When people try to invalidate my suffering with toxic positivity.

Further decline of my life quality which is already very low compared to what I expect.
 
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davidtorez

davidtorez

Specialist
Mar 8, 2024
312
Aging and all the fun stuff that comes with it.
Slaving in a shit house job you hate just to make ends meet .
We're gonna die one day anyway so why prolong the suffering?
 
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gatherer

gatherer

New Member
Mar 27, 2024
2
The fact that our society cultivates suffering too much. You look like you're doing great => you're crap. No one can be happy. Happiness is not romantic. They don't write books or make films about happiness. In this world, no one is allowed to rejoice, even if he is capable of it.
That there will be no compensation for suffering. Regardless of the amount of torment, the end will still be the same for everyone. Everything that happens is useless and meaningless. And the fact that people do not accept this meaninglessness, inventing a non-existent god for themselves.
 
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M

Meteora

Ignorance is bliss
Jun 27, 2023
2,008
There is no healing from (early) childhood neglect as they promised.
They betrayed me (and so many others).
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

She wished that she never existed...
Sep 24, 2020
34,877
I don't get how it's supposedly so disturbing that the peace of death will eventually erase all we knew, I personally find comfort in the eternal absence of existence. For me ceasing to exist will always be something positive as after all one cannot suffer from not existing, what I find disturbing is the existence of life, to me it's beautiful to think of being permanently unaware of everything.

But what disturbs me is how there is no limit as to how torturous existing can get, it's disturbing how an existing being is capable of feeling such extreme agony in this meaningless existence where chance so senselessly determines everything. To simply exist is so incredibly harmful and that's a reason as to why only non-existence is desirable to me, it's disturbing how existence has caused so much senseless cruelty, torture and harm all throughout history.

In my case I wish to cease existing as I don't want to suffer in any way, I see existence as such an hellish imposistion that is best avoided no matter what and never should have existed at all. What disturbs me is how this existence could potentially continue for decades, the thought of suffering for decades just to be tortured by old age in an existence that was always unnecessary and undesirable in the first place disturbs me. To me existence is evil as it's the source of all suffering, no matter what I'd always prefer to not exist.
 
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sserafim

sserafim

they say it’s darkest of all before the dawn
Sep 13, 2023
8,125
1. The fact that life is meaningless. There's no point as to or reason why we exist. There's no meaning of life, and all of your suffering will have been for nothing in the end. I wish that it could have meant something. All of the trials and tribulations, and for what?

2. The fact that we're all slaves to the system. We live under a system of modern day slavery. We're born to be wageslaves and cogs in the machine. You have to work to survive in this world because nothing is free. Even basic needs cost money. Everything always costs something. Your living needs to be *earned*

3. The fact that life is a game of survival. This ties into my second point. Everything in life is about survival. Everything we do is to ensure that we survive. You have to work to afford basic necessities and have a roof over your head. I wish that life could be about something more

4. Aging and old age. If you don't die young, you'll have to get old one day and grow old and wrinkly. Your looks and beauty will fade like a wilted flower and you will be a shell of the person you once were. Your physical and mental faculties will decline. "In old age, get weak" is a saying.

etc
For me, it's mostly that I don't want to have to earn money to sustain a life that I don't want to live and don't feel the desire to try and make better so that I want to live it. Basically- why should I live as a slave?

Plus- the general facts that I don't want to experience old age and illness and I don't really like the look of this world, or where it's headed. There's very little holding me here.
Literally
 
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pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
1,925
Could be part of a
Book each number a long chapter

Title: "Why Life is bad and non-existence much better"

1. Extreme suffering unbearable pain extreme torture arguments for why life is bad.

2. Old age . Every human & other animal gets old. We are just decaying flesh.

3. Life is meaningless. What will matter in a trillion years? Nothing.

4. The bad horrible painful things far outweigh the pleasurable crap

5 . Entropy cannot be overcome

6. Pain is a lot worse than people know or remember

7. Every human or other animal is under threat of extreme torture
8. We are prisoners slaves in an evil oppressive suicide prohibition world prison world
9. 1000s of horrible things diseases , accidents, kidnapping torture, lies , oppression etc
10. We are also prisoners in a decaying fragile animal body that has constant needs
11. All this work chores problems threats for what reason?
12 . Life is meaningless suffering
13. The abominable human body: . trillions of cells, monstrous organs a horrific brain that can suffer unbearable constant pain

Many more chapters
 
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ClaudeCTTE

ClaudeCTTE

Misunderstood...
Aug 22, 2023
264
1. That I live in a third-world country.

2. That besides living in the third world, I live in a town where everyone has a traditionalist mindset and is not capable of understanding mental illnesses.

3. That without having a college education, I will have to endure disgusting jobs just to make a living.

4. Having a disgusting salary that doesn't allow me to enjoy my life.

5. Having to dedicate all my time to work and not having time for my hobbies.

6. That one day I will live in complete loneliness, without family or friends.

7. Old age. I don't want to think about dementia or similar illnesses...

8. Survival. I don't see the point of survival if we're going to die anyway.
 
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melancholia_melodia

melancholia_melodia

Member
Nov 29, 2023
56
For me, it's the extreme loneliness I'm enduring, the bad experiences I've had in life (mostly with toxic & uncaring ppl) and the uncertainty about my future.
 
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wiinterfrost

wiinterfrost

it only gets worse..
Oct 8, 2023
116
- the fact that police is mostly run by nazis and they have so much power over destroying people's lives
- climate collapse
- discrimination and the fact that many who would count as "good" people don't think they need to check their personal bias (leading to incredibly harmful situations where ofc someone like me is the one to get hurt most)
- no but really, climate collapse. how literally living in peace and restoring the planet would be so simple but the elaborate systems put in place so everyone in privilege can purposefully ignore what is going on are so much stronger than anything else. "let's destroy this forest that is extremely imprortant for the health of humans and for preventing apocalypse and instead try and turn it for something as dumb and made-up as money"
- those people who laugh while they kill you (figuratively and literally, i'd say). y'know those scenarios where cops smile while they degrade you or assholes laugh while they joke about raping you etc. those who shout slurs and triggers to test you and see your reaction because they have the privilege of being "unbothered" by trauma.

there is so much more but honestly this is bumming me out.
ugh
 
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Chr0nicAnhedonic

Chr0nicAnhedonic

poisoned to my rotten core
Oct 1, 2023
56
There are island-size trash heaps floating around in the ocean. Just massive clumps of trash that's being added to every day.

Microplastics have also successfully made their way into everyone and everything on the planet. The effects of them are under-researched (likely intentionally), but what we do know is incredibly grim.

Total ecological collapse is underway, and the best we can do is slightly mitigate the effects. The uber-rich will be fine, but the rest of us will likely perish under such conditions. And those that don't will still have to go into work the next day.
 
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Dliena

Dliena

𝚂𝚂 𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝙽𝚘. 43,53?
Dec 22, 2023
1,888
Diseases and they're prob more we still don't know about yet.
 
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CozyTime

CozyTime

Death should be a free choice
Feb 16, 2019
53
The people who cared for me more than anyone else ever will have been gone for over a decade.

The things I'd do to be able to see their faces again, for most of them I am without pictures and thus their faces have faded from my memory. Sometimes I'll see people who remind me of them but in ways I can't describe because I simply can't remember.

I hate it with every fiber of my being.
 
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Illegal Preclear

Illegal Preclear

Skull Skylight Installation Specialist.
Sep 6, 2022
135
1) Being incurably and untreatably disabled and having to spend every single year with less working neurons. To say "it could get better" is an outright delusional statement at this point. I put off CTB to the point where I have dementia like symptoms, I don't want or need to see how bad things get if I keep putting it off.

2) Having first hand knowledge of TRUE Evil growing up in one of THOSE kinds of wealthy families. The ill-gotten wealth kind. Thus being exposed to what kind of Demonic Machine this Prison Planet really is. I spent many years fighting that system. Now I'm retiring. I want no part of this Prison Planet anymore. I'm leaving.

3) Having my best friend CTB in 2015 and thinking about how his lucky rear end has spent the last 9 years NOT suffering.
 
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hail

hail

embrace
Jan 27, 2024
35
the fact that i went through so much shit at such a young age, the damage is done and no amount of support will ever change that
 
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halleyscomet

halleyscomet

halley
Mar 26, 2024
298
Here's my list:

1. Knowing the fact that everyone will die in the end no matter who they were, how much money they had or how lucky they got in their lives. Even then, it wouldn't matter because we all die.

2. Having to work a shitty job for almost the rest of your life just to make ends meet, most people aren't happy with their careers.

3. Aging and missing out on certain things you should've done in your younger days

4. Any sort of traumatic experiences

5. Knowing that earth is probably the only habitable in the universe.
the fact i will never be loved and cared for the way i do for others.

and no matter what i do and how hard i try i will always be ill and nobody will care.

i will never be happy, i don't know if i can live like this anymore.
 
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Ariii

Ariii

Member
Oct 29, 2023
20
That the rest of my life will be an endless work cycle

That none of my goals are actually mine, just expectations that have been pushed on me since I was a child, and I'm truly passionate about nothing
 
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Venessolotic

Venessolotic

English is not my first language
Jan 19, 2024
60
It's going to take many ages for humanity to go extinct, which is the most disturbing fact I can think of.

I'm disgusted by the fact that this hated species which is the cause of all of my sorrows is still going to exist even after I ctb.
 
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J

J&L383

Specialist
Jul 18, 2023
318
"There is no healing from (early) childhood neglect as they promised.
They betrayed me (and so many others)."

I so much agree.

"The eternal absence of existence"

I'm looking forward to it.
 
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astonishedturnip

astonishedturnip

Like Christine Chubbuck, but sadder
Jan 16, 2024
185
1. Knowing that anyone I love can die at any time. On my work browser I'm always getting weird targeted news stories about perfectly healthy people who randomly drop dead or are suddenly diagnosed with an extremely rare and fatal cancer. I'm not afraid to die ofc, but I'm only staying alive for my loved ones and the knowledge that I can't protect them from death or control the world into leaving them alone just kills me. Especially the knowledge that this death will be inevitable someday and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

2. Knowing this is it, there's no going back, no redos or second chances. I spent my teen and college years studying hard and working, so I didn't have any wild stories of dating, going out on the town all night with friends, wacky adventures of self-discovery, etc. I was pretty lonely and shy after a decade-plus of nonstop bullying in school, so all those "fun years" were spent just trying to recover. I'm still in close enough proximity to these years where I'll see a video or whatever of younger people having fun and falling in love and I'll think, "Well if that were to happen to me..." and then I realize that it didn't happen, and it will never happen. I'll never get those years or that youth back, ever. I'm going to be working full-time for the rest of my life just to get by. I deliberately curbed my "fun" in an attempt to secure a good future for myself and just ended up in the same exact rat race, trying to make ends meet, and socially I have nothing to show for it.

3. Knowing how miserable most relationships are. Most of my old girl friends are married to brick-dull slobs who make them do all the housework and childcare (while they both work full time) as they play video games and drink. I'd say only 1 out of 10 people I know are in relationships I envy. Why do I even bother chasing a relationship so much when just about everyone I know secretly resents their spouse? Smh.

4. Knowing that my bullies went on to become attractive and successful in their personal and professional lives. All married and regularly going on cool vacations, going out to fun social events, getting pregnant, making tons of money, etc. Literally no justice in life, what's the point.

5. That we have no idea what happens after death. Personally I believe in an afterlife but it makes me want to CTB when someone thumbs their nose at me and tells me "when we die, that's it, you'll never reunite with your loved ones again lol" as (curiously enough) a pro-life screed. Like okay dude. If I can never hug my grandpa again in the next life, then I'd rather just CTB now rather than suffer with the pain of grief for decades? We won't reunite but at least the pain will end forever?
 
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W

wCvML2

Member
Nov 15, 2021
244
Any earthquake, existential / nuclear war, famine, economic collapse, climate change etc. that are incoming but don't have an exact deadline. We know that all the progress we make might be wiped out in a matter of seconds by factors out of our control so what's the point of trying...?

Specifically, earthquakes terrify me and where I live it's predicted to happen sometime in the future and have devastating consequences. I want to avoid experiencing it.
 
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Dara Argith

Dara Argith

Remember me.
Oct 6, 2023
37
that we are overwhelmingly meantto suffer
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
3,128
I'm too exhausted to give a proper answer so my short answer is that suffering is always guaranteed and that suffering is mandatory in all stages of life
 
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T

TiredOfAllThis

Arcanist
Feb 5, 2024
442
On top of aging, body slowly giving in, and trauma it's knowing that I have most likely been on the autistic spectrum which has caused many of my problems. Also, life events constantly getting out of control.
 
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