Discussion What are or were your parents like?

[AhG]

It's hard to say. My "family" isn't really family. My father and I didn't have a relationship, and I say that because he grew up in Mexico and didn't have much growing up. So when he had his own kid, he thought showing "love" and "affection" was being a workaholic. Yes, he did provide for me and my mother, but he wasn't a husband or a father. He never spent time with me. His time was spent watching TV and drinking beer. When my parents got divorced, he never tried to see me, and when he did, it was only to go the movies, that way he didn't have to talk to me, and then take me home and give me money until the next few months came around.
My mother turned into a alcoholic after my father left her. Our relationship wasn't a "mother-daughter" one. I had to take care of her when I was 9 years old. Always making sure she never did anything stupid. Making sure she didn't drink and drive, or getting her into the shower. Our relationship was more of "friends" type thing.
I can't really say anything else, except we can only make do with who raises us as children.

 

[S5E51mbB]

Not related to the post or your reply, but as a teacher, I love your quote. I try not to be that teacher as much as possible.

Thank you. We really need good teachers. Finding one is...adjectives fail me. I've had a few really good teachers over the years. Won't ever forget how helpful they've been.

Is your signature a radiohead reference? If so, you have earned my respect :)

I guess I haven't earned your respect lol. Surprising enough I've never listened to Radiohead? Would a guy like me, someone who enjoys Pink Floyd, Tool, Iron Maiden etc, like Radiohead?

 

[chlorine]

Thank you. We really need good teachers. Finding one is...adjectives fail me. I've had a few really good teachers over the years. Won't ever forget how helpful they've been.

I guess I haven't earned your respect lol. Surprising enough I've never listened to Radiohead? Would a guy like me, someone who enjoys Pink Floyd, Tool, Iron Maiden etc, like Radiohead?

Oh don't worry, I respect you anyway lol
Pink Floyd is my fav band with radiohead and sufjan Stevens. I also know tool and iron made. Radiohead is indie rock alternative, more close to pink Floyd than to the other bands you mentioned,, and a lot of their songs are very melancholic, it's their whole sound. I personally love them, I think you should check them out :)

 

[S5E51mbB]

Oh don't worry, I respect you anyway lol
Pink Floyd is my fav band with radiohead and sufjan Stevens. I also know tool and iron made. Radiohead is indie rock alternative, more close to pink Floyd than to the other bands you mentioned,, and a lot of their songs are very melancholic, it's their whole sound. I personally love them, I think you should check them out :)

I certainly shall!

 

[Letmego. Please]

I'm adopted, but I met my biological parents years ago. All four of them combined together are the main reason I decided to never had kids.

Adopted as well.
Real mum, had a shitty sexually/pshycially abusive childhood hence why she had a kid at 13, then got sent along with the father to Borstal (1960's kids prison) for a bit, then got preggers with me at 15. I met her in my mid 20's, by then she was profoundly broken, had attempted suicide a few times, been depressed all her life.

Adopted mum, i wasn't what she wanted, was a serious disappointment, but she was great at 'playing' the loving mum to schools etc
Other than that she has some serious mental health probs that she will never acknowledge (i am weak for mine) plus she is the reason i left home at 17 an alcoholic, she drank & popped so many pills she didn't even notice me raiding her large supply of homemade wine to cope with my depression. Very controlling, even now in my late 40's she still tries, emotionally abusive & just generally a fucked up human being.

I used to feel sorry for my dad when i was a kid, having to carry her up to bed at night & plonk her on the loo as she was so pissed, having to come home from work to find her raging about something or other that i had done. Now i look at it & think you were the one who married her, you stayed & let her behave that way for an easy life so i have no respect.
He also oddly had God speak to him a number of years ago & is now a Lay preacher, but doing 'gods work' only extends as far as the local 14th century 'posh' church were they might from time to time pray for the poor starving africans but never ever look at the deprivation around their little middle class fiefdom, oh and she goes for the social status, to me they are what is wrong with religion in this country.

I long ago figured i was buggered by both nature & nurture, but to care would give them power & I'm not doing that, plus i think i turned out to be a decent enough person, for that i thank my grandparents who did teach me what unconditional love was.

Thank you. We really need good teachers. Finding one is...adjectives fail me. I've had a few really good teachers over the years. Won't ever forget how helpful they've been.

I guess I haven't earned your respect lol. Surprising enough I've never listened to Radiohead? Would a guy like me, someone who enjoys Pink Floyd, Tool, Iron Maiden etc, like Radiohead?

I second the Radiohead, as a Pink floyd fan you will find plenty of tunes you like.

 

[Ruffian]

Adopted as well.
Real mum, had a shitty sexually/pshycially abusive childhood hence why she had a kid at 13, then got sent along with the father to Borstal (1960's kids prison) for a bit, then got preggers with me at 15. I met her in my mid 20's, by then she was profoundly broken, had attempted suicide a few times, been depressed all her life.

Adopted mum, i wasn't what she wanted, was a serious disappointment, but she was great at 'playing' the loving mum to schools etc
Other than that she has some serious mental health probs that she will never acknowledge (i am weak for mine) plus she is the reason i left home at 17 an alcoholic, she drank & popped so many pills she didn't even notice me raiding her large supply of homemade wine to cope with my depression. Very controlling, even now in my late 40's she still tries, emotionally abusive & just generally a fucked up human being.

I used to feel sorry for my dad when i was a kid, having to carry her up to bed at night & plonk her on the loo as she was so pissed, having to come home from work to find her raging about something or other that i had done. Now i look at it & think you were the one who married her, you stayed & let her behave that way for an easy life so i have no respect.
He also oddly had God speak to him a number of years ago & is now a Lay preacher, but doing 'gods work' only extends as far as the local 14th century 'posh' church were they might from time to time pray for the poor starving africans but never ever look at the deprivation around their little middle class fiefdom, oh and she goes for the social status, to me they are what is wrong with religion in this country.

I long ago figured i was buggered by both nature & nurture, but to care would give them power & I'm not doing that, plus i think i turned out to be a decent enough person, for that i thank my grandparents who did teach me what unconditional love was.


I second the Radiohead, as a Pink floyd fan you will find plenty of tunes you like.

You know, you have a pretty distinct writing style and a strong voice. You know the best writers kill themselves. Or at least they used to.

 

[chlorine]

I certainly shall!

Let me know if you do!

 

[Letmego. Please]

You know, you have a pretty distinct writing style and a strong voice. You know the best writers kill themselves. Or at least they used to.

Thank you. I do intend on upholding said tradition...

Though I've never though of myself as a good writer

 

[S5E51mbB]

Let me know if you do!

I just listened to Paranoid Android and also 2+2=5. Damn... pretty good.
I see what you meant when you asked me whether it was a Radiohead reference.

 

[chlorine]

I just listened to Paranoid Android and also 2+2=5. Damn... pretty good.
I see what you meant when you asked me whether it was a Radiohead reference.

told you haha :) i personally love karma police, street spirit, paranoid android and knives out. Of course the whole OK computer album, Kid A and The Bends are great albums with great tracks, such as fake plastic trees

 

[Final Escape]

My mom is a stereotypical Asian mother. She is materialistic. But, she is so clever and skillful when it comes to money making and business. It's like she has strong entrepreneur blood inside her. She only graduated junior high school, yet she is the breadwinner of the family, able to support 4 children, bought houses and car, helped my brother in law started a business (by providing capital), never got into debt. A perfect housewife material.

I hate her. Don't ask why. It's complicated.

My father on the other hand, has nothing great about him aside his muscular body. He didn't finish high school, yet pressured me to finish University. He forced me to stop my veganism with violence. He didn't make money on his own, only helping the business started by my mother. Definitely not a father figure that I wished I had. A part of me glad that he passed away early.

But, I still like him more than my mother.

Lol! This made me giggle. Your mom was what normally is the guy's role, but your dad was more like the submissive role. Gender reversal. It's more common once they began to push feminism everywhere. Just be glad u got to know them both and had them in your life.

 

[Ruffian]

Thank you. I do intend on upholding said tradition...

Though I've never though of myself as a good writer

Yeah, flip that script. I don't know how long you are planning on staying around or what your reason is for being on the site. It's something you might want to explore. I have been writing some pretty silly stuff lately and getting some of my voice back. It's kind of high to write something you like and can take your mind off of what we are dealing with here. I write a lot of online movie reviews, but I just sent a think piece to the NY Times. It took awhile to write, and it was pretty brutal. I doubt they will publish it, because I criticized some rhetoric they were espousing.

 

[Final Escape]

My mother was unable to nurture or bond, low empathy, high narcissistic traits, emotionally neglecting, psychologically abusive, but very competent in many ways. She was very intelligent but not wise in her choices with men. I unfortunately repeated the same mistakes, only none of my unborn children made it to the next generation due to abortions :("

My father was also psychologically abusive and very narcissistic. He already had two kids from his first marriage when he hooked up with my mother. They got pregnant with me outside of marriage and then decided to get married but my father did not want to live together lol! I suspect he was a man child and although he was in his 40's when I was born he was immature and unable to be a committed father.

I'm not entirely sure on the details of everything between them but he was not a wise partner choice for my mother and we paid a heavy price growing up with her trying to do it all by herself.

 

[Tabbyql]

I am with you. Many memories of my childhood are blurried and there are certain ugly, ugly things that I am not sure happened or not, and I really hope they didn't happen, otherwise I'll have to hate my father forever. This doubt makes me really uncomfortable around him sometimes, but I try to tell myself it must not be true and that everything's okay, enev though it drives me crazy sometimes.

Thats how i feel around my dad, it genuinely scares me so i have to block it out. i know i dont know you. But feel free to talk if you need to.

 

[Letmego. Please]

Yeah, flip that script. I don't know how long you are planning on staying around or what your reason is for being on the site. It's something you might want to explore. I have been writing some pretty silly stuff lately and getting some of my voice back. It's kind of high to write something you like and can take your mind off of what we are dealing with here. I write a lot of online movie reviews, but I just sent a think piece to the NY Times. It took awhile to write, and it was pretty brutal. I doubt they will publish it, because I criticized some rhetoric they were espousing.

Thank you.
I really hope the NY Times does publish your piece, i will still be knocking around here for a few months at least so if they do i would love to read it.
R.e the writing, would you be happy for a Pm? Perfectly understand if not, think i am just too used to living as me only inside my own head if that makes any sense.

 

[Ruffian]

Thank you.
I really hope the NY Times does publish your piece, i will still be knocking around here for a few months at least so if they do i would love to read it.
R.e the writing, would you be happy for a Pm? Perfectly understand if not, think i am just too used to living as me only inside my own head if that makes any sense.

Yes, I am fine with PMs. Ive had quite a few. I was sad to see one of them go, but happy for them too.

 

[Done182]

Dad was a psychopath who I haven't seen in 10 years (restraining order), Mum an empath.

 

[IsItReallyParanoia]

Mom: very religious and ignorant. Have never really spent time with me and my brothers.
Dad: died when I was 8. I'd lie if I said I remember much about him as a person. Was neglecting and drank a lot.

 

[StillWaiting]

My mum is someone who never admit she is wrong.
My dad always listened to others and most of the time keep quiet and do what others want.

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

Mom: controlling tiger parent who would scream at me if I got a 96 on a test or did little things like saying "oh man" (because in her mind, "oh man" was "black people language")
Dad: uninvolved and enabled my mom; agreed with everything she said and did

 

[Severen]

Mom: controlling tiger parent who would scream at me if I got a 96 on a test or did little things like saying "oh man" (because in her mind, "oh man" was "black people language")
Dad: uninvolved and enabled my mom; agreed with everything she said and did

That's usually how it is. You have one sociopath parent. And then the other, just being nothing but a subservient minion with a vegetable instead of a brain or someone who is a complete coward.

 

[ExitTheDay]

I'm not saying my mother didn't take care me of me my whole life because she did, she did a wonderful job raising and taking care of me as a single mother, but I feel as if whenever she was in a relationship with somebody her attitude and affection for me and my brother changed just like with her current boyfriend, which him and I cannot stand because hes such an ostentatious asshole who lectures everybody over problems that hes faced himself

 

[Severen]

I'm not saying my mother didn't take care me of me my whole life because she did, she did a wonderful job raising and taking care of me as a single mother, but I feel as if whenever she was in a relationship with somebody her attitude and affection for me and my brother changed just like with her current boyfriend, which him and I cannot stand because hes such an ostentatious asshole who lectures everybody over problems that hes faced himself

She is probably trying to seduce him by mirroring him.

 

[Orin]

My parents are both assholes.

My dad is selfish, egomaniacal, dishonest, STD-spreading philanderer.

While my mom wants to play victim that she was cheated on for years, i recently found out she was quite a bitch in her youth. She once backstabbed a co-worker, saying she was "ugly". Word got to the co-worker and predictably she was incensed.

When i confided in my father that i was having suicidal thoughts, he said "that's nonsense."

When i confided in my mother that i was having suicidal thoughts, she asked me if i was thinking of any methods. I said "maybe jump over the Golden Gate Bridge."

She said "why waste money going to SF if the Coronado Bridge is just 20 minutes away?"

 

[stellabelle]

Toxic. Evil. Fucking stupid.

 

[Severen]

Toxic. Evil. Fucking stupid.

Yeah, if we were born with loving and good parents, we'd probably wouldn't be here. Instead, we'd be too busy, enjoying life...

My parents are both assholes.

My dad is selfish, egomaniacal, dishonest, STD-spreading philanderer.

While my mom wants to play victim that she was cheated on for years, i recently found out she was quite a bitch in her youth. She once backstabbed a co-worker, saying she was "ugly". Word got to the co-worker and predictably she was incensed.

When i confided in my father that i was having suicidal thoughts, he said "that's nonsense."

When i confided in my mother that i was having suicidal thoughts, she asked me if i was thinking of any methods. I said "maybe jump over the Golden Gate Bridge."

She said "why waste money going to SF if the Coronado Bridge is just 20 minutes away?"

Every time, I tried to express any kind of pain to my father due to a physical health problem or a mental health problem, he would tell me to suck it up or call me a hypochondriac. Every time in the past, I cried as a child, my parents would just laugh at me. And then nowadays, they see me as a monster because there are parts of me that scare them... Well duh...

 

[magick'sgone]

Wonderful people who would do anything to help me. I can't blame them at all (but have, with incredible cruelty, in the past). If they were assholes, i'd be dead already.

Ps- Radiohead all the way. I'll probably be listening to Talk Show Host or Videotape when I CTB

 

[Numbtopain97]

Psychopath

 

[burnedCookie]

they were good people who tried to help the best they could
my mom was often depressed too, but at that time nobody cared

both gone, and in a sad way I prefer that, they didn't have to see what I've become

 

[Intelligent_Lobster]

My mom is narcissistic, I feel like that's all I have to say.

My father stole my $$ several times, once when I was 11ish years old, and had gotten $$ from a family friend for Christmas. He didn't pay rent for 12 months, and now he's homeless, and relying on my sister, who he's put in tens of thousands of dollars in debt. Enough said about that, I think.