What are my chances of dying if I junp into the river thames? Is there anyway I can reduce pain?

[Leopard2023]

Especially in the early morning

 

[TheShadowQueen]

It will work but there's a chance you'll float up and survive so it's best if you have something to hold you down

 

[Intoxicated]

I'd prefer a small unpopulated lake without currents to a river.

Displacing air from the lungs by an ashyxiant gas like N2O, N2, DFE, or propane-butane seems to be the best idea for mitigation of discomfort from drowning to minimum. A few deep inhalations produce unconsciousness in about 20 - 30 seconds.

Cheap N2O can be obtained in culinary chargers. A culinary dispenser and a latex balloon would be handy for extraction of the gas from such chargers and inhaling it.

If N2O is unavailable, N2 would be the next best candidate. It can be obtained in nitrogen chargers for cold brew nitro coffee (dispenser + balloon would be a handy addition to such chargers as well).

DFE or propane-butane can be obtained in air dusters. These gases are likely mixed with unpleasant odorants, so I'd consider them as the last resort.

 

[Linda]

A lot of people have drowned accidentally in that river. Many of them were drunk. Being very intoxicated greatly increases the risk of drowning.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

It depends how persistent your survival instincts are.