Venting We live in a predatory universe

[StunningIntent]

I just can't live like this anymore, to be so dependent on this system ran by greed that to survive I have to be ruthless and miserable, I gave it my all in the past and it broke me because I was relying on religious nonsense like Buddhism to get me by but then I realized that it's just another pretend system, if I truly know if the path was the right path for me then I would have not told people about it but I was seeking attention and approval by others by saying I'm Buddhist. A lot of spiritual teachings or beliefs are from the mentally ill, past down from generation to generation because it's based on faith and keep people pretending for a better future a better tomorrow to keep the slaves enduring the hardship. To shelter us from this brutal reality by selling us a false dream false hope in salvation. Unfortunately we can only save ourself, but at this point I'm too drained to begin the work once again. Faced with the terrible human condition, I try to take psychedelics in the past to find the truth but it ended up destroying me even more, had a bad trip and I was sent dimension where I was being tortured, killed in all different manner from being mauled, stabbed, raped by predatory beings. Came out depressed and suicidal and then the bipolar happened and my life derailed further into madness. Now I'm unemployed, ptsd ridden living with my family all my life feel like a prison as i was never truly self sufficient, trapped in my room questioning when my demise will happen. Too tired to fight, to live in a predatory society which indicate that the universe is also predatory and supposedly it is according to shamans or seers or people who have the ability to perceive beyond this physical reality. Humans are slaves which is an energetic fact in accordance to their viewpoint because they are able to perceived that we are food to beings called inorganic being that feed on our emotions from positive to negative, its intent is to farmed us like we farm animals for sustenance. To evolved is based on consumption, we must feed in order to grow. And to imprison us they gave us their mind which is contradictory in nature. If you think about it humans are all the same fundamentally we all think the same. And that we have been so enslabed that our mind required constant stimulation, that we can't stand the silence, or meditation which stops the mind, our mind has been infiltrated because if it doesn't serve us for our evolutionary growth than it is against us and cost us to self pity and drain us with bad habits, that's why inner silence tax them because they are not able to control us anymore. I'm tired of people, I just want to be alone. Socialization has become a disease because it keep us trapped to our fellow man and not seeing beyond the veil. I'm just tired because I feel like my life has been predetermined by beings I cannot perceive pulling the string to maximize my suffering. I don't want to be a slave anymore let me return to the emptiness. Let me be free of thoughts and worries. I feel the most free when I wake up around 3 am in the early mornings because it's when society is sleeping when people and their enslaved mind is sleeping and is not projecting the crazy thoughts upon the world. I want to close my eyes and let the silence consumed me, if I were to ctb I want to be listening to the music from blade runner, tears in the rain. ️

 

[bankai]

I'm actually pretty jealous of people who have a lot of religious faith. My mother is the same.She is religious. But she uses it to overcome any adversity. I envy that.

I don't believe in religion myself. But I do believe There might be some higher power out there.

It kind of props people up and gives them hope. That's a good thing, at least.

On the topic of psychedelics I was planning to try Ayahuasca in Peru. Now I only need someone to go with. My friend doesn't want to visit that place.Probably a good thing because I was also trying to get N over there if possible.I don't think I'll be able to do that if he comes along with me. And then again, I don't want to go alone to those places either.

And tears in the rain is a nice choice.The tears in rain monologue from Blade Runner delivered by that replicant is also a great scene imo.

 

[StunningIntent]

I'm actually pretty jealous of people who have a lot of religious faith. My mother is the same.She is religious. But she uses it to overcome any adversity. I envy that.

I don't believe in religion myself. But I do believe There might be some higher power out there.

It kind of props people up and gives them hope. That's a good thing, at least.

On the topic of psychedelics I was planning to try Ayahuasca in Peru. Now I only need someone to go with. My friend doesn't want to visit that place.Probably a good thing because I was also trying to get N over there if possible.I don't think I'll be able to do that if he comes along with me. And then again, I don't want to go alone to those places either.

And tears in the rain is a nice choice.The tears in rain monologue from Blade Runner delivered by that replicant is also a great scene imo.

I agree about envying religious people because at least they are functional in society, religion and society goes hand and hand. Humans love to be lead and not questioned their own beliefs system because sometimes the truth is too awful and they rather live in a comfortable lie than accept the truth. It is a curse to be too self aware that religion and spiritual hippie mumbo jumbo cant ever satisfied you because you see it for what it is. Delusions. Ignorant is bliss, I have gone too far down the rabbit hole that I can't ever unsee what I learnt and I must live bearing the weight of knowledge. I honestly don't recommend psychedelics, micro dosing is ok but to have an external substance changed your perception of reality is like spinning the wheel of fate. A good trip can give you some insight but if it's bad then the world will become more unbearable than ever. And bad trips has a high chance to cause the individual to enter psychosis where you are so detached from reality and you start to do crazy shit. Look up examples of Connor Murphy, also search up psychedelics has ruined my life and u see a lot of people have bad experiences with them. What mangas/anime do you recommend with dark themes? I assume your a berserk fan from ur pfp, one of the few anime I find refuge whenever I hit rock bottom.

 

[bankai]

I've heard this exact opinion on psychedelics. And I have also read that the way to control it is to make sure that you're in a really positive mood before attempting.'Cause if you are in a dark place, the trip is definitely going to be disturbing.

Ah,Berserk.My absolutely favorite dark fantasy themed manga of the last 25 years.It actually inspired me in real life to do better. To try harder. I can't say that about anything else.The art is absolutely beautiful. The villains are horrific.

I guess similar dark fantasy would be Bastard from Netflix. That's what I watched recently. I don't read much manga anymore.I do watch quite a few anime.

Ah OK, another great manga is Claymore. It's about all these badass women that were modified with demon DNA.But it's a very good story and very emotional, it's also complete. The one thing I don't like about Berserk is it's kind of in Limbo now.'Cause the author is dead. Another great manga is Gantz.