Wasent abke to go

[IwanttodieASAP]

So I failed...

Except I didn't really even try. The mind will work any excuse it can to get you out from dying. I didn't post because I was embarrassed, and I know all of you will say I do not need to be. I do not need to hear that.

I hate myself, my life, what I did to get here, everything about myself. I hate me. I was able to get myself to go for a walk around where I plan to do full suspension today Finally. First time I left my bed in three days. I couldn't find a suitable tree. Please give me advice on what kind of setup I xan use or fashion in nature. Please I'm begging. I cannot take this hell much longer. I mean it. I cannot

I cannot

 

[IwanttodieASAP]

Can one person respond please?

 

[lionetta12]

So I failed...

Except I didn't really even try. The mind will work any excuse it can to get you out from dying. I didn't post because I was embarrassed, and I know all of you will say I do not need to be. I do not need to hear that.

I hate myself, my life, what I did to get here, everything about myself. I hate me. I was able to get myself to go for a walk around where I plan to do full suspension today Finally. First time I left my bed in three days. I couldn't find a suitable tree. Please give me advice on what kind of setup I xan use or fashion in nature. Please I'm begging. I cannot take this hell much longer. I mean it. I cannot

I cannot

SI is very strong and hard to fight. Don't be upset with yourself, it's natural for your mind and body to fight against CTB. Most people here have tried CTB several times so no need to feel embarassed, although we know how it is like and how defeating of a situation it can be.

Try to relax and don't rush any attempts. Being alive can be painful and feel unbearable, but rushing an attempt will most likely result in a lot of pain and failure. Take your time and find a suitable set up. There's a lot of threads on the topic of full suspension and good resources, so if you're able to, read into those.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm so sorry you are in such a dark place. Just like the previous post said though- there's nothing to feel embarassed about and I'm glad that you've come back to the site. I strongly feel a part of our function here should be to support one another at a time like this.

I would also agree that it's a good thing that you didn't go ahead with it. Like @lionetta12 said, rushed attempts do seem more likely to fail. You might well have made your situation even worse if you had tried and failed.

I'm afraid I can't give any advice on your set up as it's not a method I've really considered. I would say though- that your time wasn't wasted just walking around your chosen area. I think it's best to feel as calm as possible when the time comes- which I think is more possible with a detailed plan. You now know that your initial place isn't suitable. At least that means you won't go there again and panic because you can't go ahead with it.

I hope you are able to take some time to relax and forgive yourself. You haven't failed anything- it just wasn't your time. I hope you are able to find peace- whatever you decide to do.

 

[Al_stargate]

Sorry that life is hell for you. I can't give you advice because I don't know much about hanging. You seem to be in a lot of distress if you can bring yourself to even spell thread title correctly. What does Wasent abke means? Anyway, I don't wanna make you feel bad. Hope you find your peace.

 

[wantittoendsoon]

I wish you peace however you find it, I'm not trying to save you but Hanging is rough if it goes wrong, if you have the resources and the time Nitrogen with bag or mask is the way to go in my opinion
.....safe journey my friend

 

[FuneralCry]

It really can be torture when you so desperately wish to leave yet you struggle to go through with ctb, this world is definitely hell to me and it's certainly so frustrating and awful how it's potentially so difficult to free ourselves from it. But I hope that you find what you wish for.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Suicide isn't really an all or nothing proposition. I don't think the idea of suicide suddenly pops in someone's head and they go right out, immediately that second, and CTB. It's more a process. It takes time to get your head in order and wrapped around the idea. It's a big freaking deal to kill yourself. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. most likely, you're in that process now. The journey is as important as the means to the end. You just need to give yourself some time, do what you need to do to get there, and things will likely work out for you, whether that is CTB, or even making a different choice. There is no wrong answer in your life. It's your life. Try and go with the flow and see where it takes you. If you're set on full-suspension, you need something high enough to secure a rope. It's that simple. if that is really what you want, I'm sure you'll find it. If that is truly what you want, you'll make yourself get out and search for that right place. Trust yourself to do what is right for you. You are the one you are relying on now.