astro

astro

recovery gang
Dec 19, 2019
89
I was tbh. I had a very happy life ahead of me. If I hadn't gotten sick I'd probably be studying medicine right now while having the time of my life living with my friends.
 
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HereToday

HereToday

Arcanist
Dec 27, 2019
437
Sick mentally or physically?
Doesn't apply to me either way, I've never done well at anything
 
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D

Daffodil

Student
Dec 23, 2019
130
I have always been bipolar so was very destructive through my teens. Started to turn myself around in my late teens but got in a couple abusive relationships that is just soul destroying. Then started to work very hard to turn myself around and the bipolar took over because of stress. Now on medication and still trying to turn myself around. Hope I have the motivation to continue through this, as it's tough to build momentum after 30 years of this.
 
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miseryh8scompany

miseryh8scompany

Student
Dec 20, 2019
120
I was doing very well. Years of hard work were paying off, I was travelling, enjoying life, and still young. Then a medicated cream damaged my brain and body. Two and a half years of suffering and I've recently gotten worse. I still wake up every morning in disbelief at how something so ridiculous could destroy everything. Every day is torture
 
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astro

astro

recovery gang
Dec 19, 2019
89
I was doing very well. Years of hard work were paying off, I was travelling, enjoying life, and still young. Then a medicated cream damaged my brain and body. Two and a half years of suffering and I've recently gotten worse. I still wake up every morning in disbelief at how something so ridiculous could destroy everything. Every day is torture
I'm so sorry to hear that.
 
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Flume

Flume

Villain
Oct 28, 2019
300
I was just coming off the death of my dad and a crush that broke my heart to shreds. I then start at an internship and... 3 months later I'm injured and is forced to leave. And that was it, after that I just didn't want to live anymore.
 
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M

Morphinekiss

Enlightened
Jun 8, 2019
1,207
I had some great years where I could manage my mental health, but then my physical health nosedived and every day is crap.
 
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Fragile

Fragile

Broken
Jul 7, 2019
1,496
i was never doing great, my life was always on the bad side but the decline of my mental and physical condition just made everything unbearable, things are not supposed to be easy, but they are just so hard nowadays it's just incredible how different my life turned out from what i imagined it would be.
 
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T

TimeToBiteTheDust

Visionary
Nov 7, 2019
2,322
Yes. I was good at everything I do but now I only wish to die..
 
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BPD Barbie

BPD Barbie

Visionary
Dec 1, 2019
2,361
Yeah, I kinda had a really good year last year. Had a house, car, good paying job, social life. Now I've lost it all and just spiralled into nothingness. I've been here before many times, lost it all and rebuilt, it's one of the things with mental illness and relapse. But this time I haven't got the same drive to get back up on my feet.
 
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JustVisiting

JustVisiting

Brain Tumour Killing Me
Dec 18, 2019
242
I had some great years where I could manage my mental health, but then my physical health nosedived and every day is crap.
completely get this. ❤️
 
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M

mediocre

trapped here
Nov 9, 2019
1,442
No I was still f'ed up but my physical ailments have made things much more unbearable. Everything has always been a struggle or an uphill battle. If I wasn't ill now I'd still have many other problems that stop me from living a normal life.
 
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waterbottleman

waterbottleman

Not a person
Sep 30, 2019
721
ive never really been happy. Ive always oscillated between being content and being miserable. Although I'm at my lowest point now than I ever have been my whole life.
 
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Quarky00

Quarky00

Enlightened
Dec 17, 2019
1,956
Always had mental & physical issues but was ok, ups and downs, hardships and traumas, overall long years of good job & home I've made, good friends, had fun, had happy moments (some terror here and there). Can't really say I was doing very well or that I became sick, but yeah kinda of:) mostly cool and things went down hill.
 
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Nogodallchaos

Nogodallchaos

Member
Oct 30, 2019
27
I was good before being hospitalized at a psychiatric ward where they fucked my mental health badly and the drugs the gave me made my speech get really heavy and it hasn't recovered ever since I stopped so I don't know whether it's permanent or not
 
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B

barty1013

Member
Oct 24, 2019
63
Yes, I was doing the job I love and was able to travel all over, enjoyed life very much...but my physical illness is progressive and I can't work any more, so no finances, physically incapable of travel...can't run, can't swim, can't dance...
 
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APharmaDestroyedLife

APharmaDestroyedLife

Your RX drugs are likely your real problem
Nov 4, 2019
305
Yep... life was great on every level that mattered. I finally got it all together, all the pieces in place, and true happiness deep inside. Then Boom! How fast life can change...
 
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Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
I had my fair share of pain before I fell ill, but I think my life was alright. When I fell ill I entered a downward spiral and I really don't know how to break it. I haven't given up just yet, though.
 
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P

PeaceisallIwishfor

Member
Dec 4, 2019
78
I had everything. I was so happy. Everything going for me, then I had a mental breakdown and self-sabotaged everything. I was beautiful, I shaved my head in a manic episode, I've atrophied my body away by laying in bed, my license is gone from DUIs, I have no hope or will to move past this. The emotional pain and shame I am left to sit with everyday is too much for me to handle, I used to be able to find comfort in my beauty and I can't even do that anymore. I am trapped in a nightmare I can't escape. I feel I am stuck in a bad acid trip. I feel my brain is severely damaged now from sleeping so much and this mental illness, it's just getting worse, I cannot focus on anything or function properly anymore, I feel my soul is stuck in a body on autopilot, I will be doing things and then switch to something else and forget, it's like waking from amnesia every five minutes. I can't recognize myself anymore.
 
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terry_a_davis

terry_a_davis

Warlock
Dec 28, 2019
707
I was 'doing well', had a decent job, social life, partner, friends. But i wasn't living a healthy lifestyle and became schizophrenic. Lost everything just about.
 
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NotGoneButNotHere

NotGoneButNotHere

Member
Nov 3, 2019
45
I was tbh. I had a very happy life ahead of me. If I hadn't gotten sick I'd probably be studying medicine right now while having the time of my life living with my friends.
kind of. I was in school with a relationship of about a year when things started to go downhill. My life is still fucked now from it and I doubt it'll ever change
I had everything. I was so happy. Everything going for me, then I had a mental breakdown and self-sabotaged everything. I was beautiful, I shaved my head in a manic episode, I've atrophied my body away by laying in bed, my license is gone from DUIs, I have no hope or will to move past this. The emotional pain and shame I am left to sit with everyday is too much for me to handle, I used to be able to find comfort in my beauty and I can't even do that anymore. I am trapped in a nightmare I can't escape. I feel I am stuck in a bad acid trip. I feel my brain is severely damaged now from sleeping so much and this mental illness, it's just getting worse, I cannot focus on anything or function properly anymore, I feel my soul is stuck in a body on autopilot, I will be doing things and then switch to something else and forget, it's like waking from amnesia every five minutes. I can't recognize myself anymore.
I feel the same. For me most of it is mental. Most days feel like a dream or that I'm not even here. Anything even remotely positive that happens to me is ruined in one way or another and I feel like I'm doomed to a shitty fate. I wouldn't wish this shit on anyone and I look forward to the end
 
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B

barty1013

Member
Oct 24, 2019
63
kind of. I was in school with a relationship of about a year when things started to go downhill. My life is still fucked now from it and I doubt it'll ever change

I feel the same. For me most of it is mental. Most days feel like a dream or that I'm not even here. Anything even remotely positive that happens to me is ruined in one way or another and I feel like I'm doomed to a shitty fate. I wouldn't wish this shit on anyone and I look forward to the end
Do you know if you have depersonalization/dissociative disorder? I have had this, which is like you are in a dream, not in your body, my entire adult life. I'm neither here nor there, and it's awful. I believe the root of it for me is child abuse...mental and physical. I don't know if you are familiar with this disorder though.
 
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NotGoneButNotHere

NotGoneButNotHere

Member
Nov 3, 2019
45
Do you know if you have depersonalization/dissociative disorder? I have had this, which is like you are in a dream, not in your body, my entire adult life. I'm neither here nor there, and it's awful. I believe the root of it for me is child abuse...mental and physical. I don't know if you are familiar with this disorder though.
I have researched it a bit and it sounds really possible. I had a rough child hood moving a lot and my mom was really verbally and emotionally abusive towards me up until I was kicked out at around 16 so that might be the case. I hate it though, it's like always being numb and never really feeling like you're there
 
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B

barty1013

Member
Oct 24, 2019
63
I have researched it a bit and it sounds really possible. I had a rough child hood moving a lot and my mom was really verbally and emotionally abusive towards me up until I was kicked out at around 16 so that might be the case. I hate it though, it's like always being numb and never really feeling like you're there
I'm sorry. Yes, my mother was the same and also threw me out. Emotionally, mentally tormented me. There is a term called "gaslighting", which is a technique people use to confuse one, question their own sanity, she was and is a sadistic person, and it will literally scramble a child's mind on a physiological level. I never recovered. It certainly sounds like this is also what you have.
 
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cosmicpixiedust

cosmicpixiedust

Pixie
Jun 5, 2019
972
I technically haven't been well since my mom and grandma died back in 2012, but I've gone through stages where I've been more well and capable than the usual. I'm currently back at a very low period where I have no energy to do anything, though.
 
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Rushon

Rushon

Member
Dec 12, 2019
51
Yes I am almost 60 and have been successful most of my life. But the cancer came and changed everything, I beat the cancer but lost everything else. Sometimes I wish it would have taken me instead of going through this hell alone. And horribly lonely.
 
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coffeehouse

coffeehouse

Member
Oct 31, 2019
16
I had mental issues before I got very sick, then I got sick and it became very hard to want to fight. Chemo sucks the life out of you, although I tried very hard to make it seem like the opposite.
 
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B

barty1013

Member
Oct 24, 2019
63
Yes I am almost 60 and have been successful most of my life. But the cancer came and changed everything, I beat the cancer but lost everything else. Sometimes I wish it would have taken me instead of going through this hell alone. And horribly lonely.
I'm older too and ill, and have lost everything, and have become very isolated and lonely myself. I'm very sorry anyone goes thru this. Illness changes your priorities and point of view and that alone will changes ones choice of company I think. Very few people from my past to I want to be around any more. It becomes difficult to make new friends but I made a couple of good quality in the past year. They are out there.
 
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Rushon

Rushon

Member
Dec 12, 2019
51
I'm older too and ill, and have lost everything, and have become very isolated and lonely myself. I'm very sorry anyone goes thru this. Illness changes your priorities and point of view and that alone will changes ones choice of company I think. Very few people from my past to I want to be around any more. It becomes difficult to make new friends but I made a couple of good quality in the past year. They are out there.
Being alone is not something I would wish on any one. I do have a small core of friends (four) that I have known since high school and they are true. But they have families thus they are busy most of the time. I would like to meet new friends, maybe a new girlfriend but after what I just went through I might skip that.
 
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