Venting Wanting to have a terminal illness

[nonliv]

I wish I was terminally ill all the time. I've always liked hospitals, I've been a few times for small things and 4 times in the psychiatric hospital. You don't have to think about anything besides waking up when you're in a hospital. All the food is made for you, there's staff to help and it's the one time I feel like I can stop worrying about life. I wish I could stay in a hospital long term, but I have yet to really do anything to achieve that. I've always had a plan of cutting myself to the point where I lose alot of blood and the cut is deep, but I've only ever gotten stiches once and it wasn't a dangerous wound even, but I digress. I want to be taken care of is the bottom line of what I'm saying

 

[Abyss Dweller]

Is only being a patient at a hospital that you like? Cause if by any chance its not just that then you always have the option to try to work at one and then you can go every day :D

 

[nonliv]

Is only being a patient at a hospital that you like? Cause if by any chance its not just that then you always have the option to try to work at one and then you can go every day :D

That be pretty cool, but sadly I am in no way smart enough for the medical field, but thank you ♡

 

[Abyss Dweller]

That be pretty cool, but sadly I am in no way smart enough for the medical field, but thank you ♡

Is that the truth or are you being hard on yourself? I'm 100% you are being hard on yourself. I'm like that too. I can SENSE these things :D

 

[dontletthembribeyou]

That be pretty cool, but sadly I am in no way smart enough for the medical field, but thank you ♡

If you just have basic empathy you'll have a lot of medical professionals beat LOL
IK what you mean though, it's so much schooling

 

[Nood1eN0se]

Going to doctors and being in and out of hospitals isnt all its cracked up to be, I understand you want to get taken care of, but chronic/terminal illness is almost never painless. It can be humiliating aswell. And often times it doesnt even kill you, you just suffer indefinitely.

 

[XxEstenxX]

I wish I was terminally ill all the time. I've always liked hospitals, I've been a few times for small things and 4 times in the psychiatric hospital. You don't have to think about anything besides waking up when you're in a hospital. All the food is made for you, there's staff to help and it's the one time I feel like I can stop worrying about life. I wish I could stay in a hospital long term, but I have yet to really do anything to achieve that. I've always had a plan of cutting myself to the point where I lose alot of blood and the cut is deep, but I've only ever gotten stiches once and it wasn't a dangerous wound even, but I digress. I want to be taken care of is the bottom line of what I'm saying

Same here—and I've always felt guilty about feeling this way but Im so desperate to feel cared for for once since I cant take care of myself, but because I'm not level 2+ autistic or "special needs enough" I'm expected to take care of myself, but I cant, its genuinely so hard and I only eat one meal a day unless my parents cook or buy food for me (nowadays though I eat at midnight). I dont brush my teeth everyday anymore because I genuinely forget and I dont go outside and socialize 99.9% of the time so I see no point anyway. I cant function like a normal human being could in this society. Just thinking about getting a job gives me existential dread and anxiety. I'm not intelligent enough to go to college for any degree I'm interested in either.

Having some chronic illness or severe disability and being treated with pity everyday must suck but at the same time it sounds so ideal for me because at least my parents and society in general will finally stop pressuring me to do normal human things I'm incapable of doing. I went to the hospital before because of surgery and I remember how happy I was before anesthesia because of the nurses taking care of me felt so nice....

 

[abcezas]

I wish I was terminally ill all the time.

I totally get it. One of my professors has cancer and i find myself getting jealous of her. She's still working and going through treatment but if it was me i would just got to the hospital and let it get worse until it's over.

 

[tomame]

someone told me i'd get lung cancer- which happens to be one of the most lethal

and honestly i feel terrible that i hope it's true and happens sooner than later

i'm already 30 and didn't want nor expect to make it past 27

my life is meaningless and i've never seen a more sorrier version of a man

i often times wonder how i could've been created at all

it confuses me frankly. but i hope i'm executed sooner than later

 

[itsgone2]

A friend of mine has a young daughter who's battling leukemia

She's a good kid. That should be me. And I wouldn't be fighting it at all. I don't get this world sometimes. Why someone like that is sick and I'm healthy. I love to switch places with their. There'd be a lot more justice in it that's for sure.