Wanting to ctb with someone

[moonshard]

Been thinking about CTB for a month now and I am so tired of being like this. I wish I had a friend who's also suicidal and wants to CTB so I could do it with them. I don't think I can do this anymore
also having to write a note just sucks I don't have the energy for that but I don't want my family and friends to be unable to get over it. I genuinely am at my breaking point now

I mean I've been at my breaking point for a long time. I remember visiting this forum in the past and then "got better". I know I can get better but why would I get better just to be suicidal again this is a fucking cycle. Why would I put myself through this suffering, if we all die one day, why can't I do it on my own terms?

My biggest concerns are my sisters and my best friend. I'm very close with them, they look up to me, and we share some hobbies. I'm worried that if I'm gone they will be sad, but they have each other, so I think it will be fine. My best friend is severely mentally ill and has attempted to take her life, she still struggles with suicidality but she wants to stay. I'm scared that if I'm gone she'd have less support.

I don't know, I feel like I should write a note for everyone. But I don't have the energy to
It feels unfair for them I guess, but I don't really care now.

 

[RiftbornVeil]

I'm pretty sure there's a megathread for this; you may find more success there. I wish you the best with whatever decision you choose to make. Sending virtual hugs

 

[moonshard]

I'm pretty sure there's a megathread for this; you may find more success there. I wish you the best with whatever decision you choose to make. Sending virtual hugs

Thanks ;v; I don't have a plan right now and it feels weird ctbing with complete strangers lol. I'll take a look at that thread

 

[RiftbornVeil]

Thanks ;v; I don't have a plan right now and it feels weird ctbing with complete strangers lol. I'll take a look at that thread

I understand. CTBing with someone else seems very intense, it is only logical you would want to do it with someone relatively closer to you.

As for making a plan, I believe there is a "Resources" megathread I recommend looking into if you haven't already. I found it helpful myself and am glad the community has come together to put forth such items to help us make the decision best fit for ourselves.

I hope you find what you are looking for, best of luck <3

 

[moonshard]

I think I might drown ? I don't have too much energy left for buying materials online. And hanging just sucks I tried choking myself and I hated the feeling.

My dream method is carbon monoxide poisoning so I can pass away asleep. But that's just not possible in my case

 

[kufajoy]

Same wish there is someone in my country

 

[T22222222]

me too i really want to find someone in my country too

me too i really want to find someone in my country too

although of course i'd like to meet them first before deciding if i want to ctb together, doesn't have to be a necessity

 

[moonshard]

me too i really want to find someone in my country too
a

although of course i'd like to meet them first before deciding if i want to ctb together

Where are you from if you don't mind me asking TT I'm from England

 

[T22222222]

Where are you from if you don't mind me asking TT I'm from England

I don't mind at all, I'm in Singapore

 

[moonshard]

I don't mind at all, I'm in Singaporean

Ohhh I lived in Hong Kong before I immigrated to the UK lol so geographically/culturally we're pretty close

there are a lot of Singaporeans on this forum I noticed best of luck in finding a partner!

 

[T22222222]

ah that's cool!
actually i don't feel like many Singaporeans are active currently on this site :'). thank you! all the best to you too

Ohhh I lived in Hong Kong before I immigrated to the UK lol so geographically/culturally we're pretty close

there are a lot of Singaporeans on this forum I noticed best of luck in finding a partner!

 

[Deer_Dairy]

Been thinking about CTB for a month now and I am so tired of being like this. I wish I had a friend who's also suicidal and wants to CTB so I could do it with them. I don't think I can do this anymore
also having to write a note just sucks I don't have the energy for that but I don't want my family and friends to be unable to get over it. I genuinely am at my breaking point now

I mean I've been at my breaking point for a long time. I remember visiting this forum in the past and then "got better". I know I can get better but why would I get better just to be suicidal again this is a fucking cycle. Why would I put myself through this suffering, if we all die one day, why can't I do it on my own terms?

My biggest concerns are my sisters and my best friend. I'm very close with them, they look up to me, and we share some hobbies. I'm worried that if I'm gone they will be sad, but they have each other, so I think it will be fine. My best friend is severely mentally ill and has attempted to take her life, she still struggles with suicidality but she wants to stay. I'm scared that if I'm gone she'd have less support.

I don't know, I feel like I should write a note for everyone. But I don't have the energy to
It feels unfair for them I guess, but I don't really care now.

I too want to ctb with someone but I've realised that it is almost impossible to find someone. Where should I look for person who really want to do it? I do not know.
I don't care if it will be a stranger. Let's have a small chat before and if we both agree, than I'm ok with it.

 

[moonshard]

I too want to ctb with someone but I've realised that it is almost impossible to find someone. Where should I look for person who really want to do it? I do not know.
I don't care if it will be a stranger. Let's have a small chat before and if we both agree, than I'm ok with it.

I think I want to CBT with someone mostly because I keep procrastinating everything
If I do it with a friend I feel less alone, and I don't have to plan everything myself