Wanting to ctb very soon, but things keep popping up to hold you back

[K14~♡]

I thought of maybe attempting within this week, could even be tomorrow, whenever seems good

But I, randomly seem to have obtained a new friend tonight?
It's from spacehey, which I don't even normally open. I had my discord username included there so they added me. They asked me to help with the css and html code for their profile, so I spent a good hour trying to help. I may have info-dumped on them a bit, cuz they said I was enthusiastic (I didn't feel like so?) and they seemed tired at the end ToT
It could just be a one time thing, it's so common to have no more continuing conversations. But they already called me a friend? How can I just dip out the next day? One day, it's saying hi. The next day, it's saying, "bye I'm gonna die"??

I feel like this universe wants me to live ToT

I'm hoping they just won't approach me again TvT Tho yea tbf I should be distancing myself from people rn. I coulda just ignored the friend request, but I'm a dumbass who feel some joy and curiosity when someone new approaches me
I'll just see how things turn out I guess...

Anyway, I think I've seen people here make some posts about things suddenly coming up and delaying their ctb. Though usually rather serious events, mine is just lighthearted...But yea, I'd like to hear if anyone else suddenly has something that makes them feel like they shouldn't go yet, no matter how small or big it is

 

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

I thought of maybe attempting within this week, could even be tomorrow, whenever seems good

But I, randomly seem to have obtained a new friend tonight?
It's from spacehey, which I don't even normally open. I had my discord username included there so they added me. They asked me to help with the css and html code for their profile, so I spent a good hour trying to help. I may have info-dumped on them a bit, cuz they said I was enthusiastic (I didn't feel like so?) and they seemed tired at the end ToT
It could just be a one time thing, it's so common to have no more continuing conversations. But they already called me a friend? How can I just dip out the next day? One day, it's saying hi. The next day, it's saying, "bye I'm gonna die"??

I feel like this universe wants me to live ToT

I'm hoping they just won't approach me again TvT Tho yea tbf I should be distancing myself from people rn. I coulda just ignored the friend request, but I'm a dumbass who feel some joy and curiosity when someone new approaches me
I'll just see how things turn out I guess...

Anyway, I think I've seen people here make some posts about things suddenly coming up and delaying their ctb. Though usually rather serious events, mine is just lighthearted...But yea, I'd like to hear if anyone else suddenly has something that makes them feel like they shouldn't go yet, no matter how small or big it is

For sure, for me it's always the little things. I have a hard time focusing on major things as a reason to stay, because it's so overwhelming, it's almost out of reach. For example, "Do my loved ones really care that much? Wouldn't they be better off?". But, suddenly, I see a beautiful rainbow and then think to myself, "What is the matter with you? If you kill yourself you'll never see that again".

 

[Zvetok26]

Yeah..I've been flirting with a guy for a week now. And he seems genuinely sweet and kind. I keep thinking, in another life there could be a chance. Honestly I shouldn't have answered him in the first place. I felt too flattered. No one ever noticed me, especially like that!
At this point I'm just postponing the inevitable. I have to let him go
I am a broken mess. There is no way in hell I am suitable for a relationship of any kind

 

[aurevoir]

For sure, for me it's always the little things. I have a hard time focusing on major things as a reason to stay, because it's so overwhelming, it's almost out of reach. For example, "Do my loved ones really care that much? Wouldn't they be better off?". But, suddenly, I see a beautiful rainbow and then think to myself, "What is the matter with you? If you kill yourself you'll never see that again".

I've recently started rewatching a show that I loved the first time around and it gives me laughs, even through the despair. But I'm at the point where I've shifted from "stick around to keep enjoying that" to "god im gonna miss that".

 

[superangel]

I feel like this a lot, especially when it comes to ongoing series that I love! I think the hardest part of ctb is accepting that I won't get to see any future content of my favourite medias (duh).

 

[chaoschuckler]

I thought of maybe attempting within this week, could even be tomorrow, whenever seems good

But I, randomly seem to have obtained a new friend tonight?
It's from spacehey, which I don't even normally open. I had my discord username included there so they added me. They asked me to help with the css and html code for their profile, so I spent a good hour trying to help. I may have info-dumped on them a bit, cuz they said I was enthusiastic (I didn't feel like so?) and they seemed tired at the end ToT
It could just be a one time thing, it's so common to have no more continuing conversations. But they already called me a friend? How can I just dip out the next day? One day, it's saying hi. The next day, it's saying, "bye I'm gonna die"??

I feel like this universe wants me to live ToT

I'm hoping they just won't approach me again TvT Tho yea tbf I should be distancing myself from people rn. I coulda just ignored the friend request, but I'm a dumbass who feel some joy and curiosity when someone new approaches me
I'll just see how things turn out I guess...

Anyway, I think I've seen people here make some posts about things suddenly coming up and delaying their ctb. Though usually rather serious events, mine is just lighthearted...But yea, I'd like to hear if anyone else suddenly has something that makes them feel like they shouldn't go yet, no matter how small or big it is

That sounds cool, could you send me an invite if you don't mind? (:

 

[InTheAbyss]

There's been a lot of little things over the years that keep pushing my ctb back. Too many to list. Some from the rare meeting of a new person to almost having hope that I'll get approved for MAID and everything in between.

 

[burninghill]

I get this a lot.

I'll be in the deepest pits of despair and then some random meetup will get planned for the next few weeks and I always tell myself it'll be the last one.

Some would argue that wanting to continue doing things like that is a sign you should live, but I just don't see it that way. You can enjoy something every now and then but still want to die wholeheartedly.

I sort of hate it. I'm glad not every day is miserable, but these things hold me back.

 

[TheKingInBlack]

I thought of maybe attempting within this week, could even be tomorrow, whenever seems good

But I, randomly seem to have obtained a new friend tonight?
It's from spacehey, which I don't even normally open. I had my discord username included there so they added me. They asked me to help with the css and html code for their profile, so I spent a good hour trying to help. I may have info-dumped on them a bit, cuz they said I was enthusiastic (I didn't feel like so?) and they seemed tired at the end ToT
It could just be a one time thing, it's so common to have no more continuing conversations. But they already called me a friend? How can I just dip out the next day? One day, it's saying hi. The next day, it's saying, "bye I'm gonna die"??

I feel like this universe wants me to live ToT

I'm hoping they just won't approach me again TvT Tho yea tbf I should be distancing myself from people rn. I coulda just ignored the friend request, but I'm a dumbass who feel some joy and curiosity when someone new approaches me
I'll just see how things turn out I guess...

Anyway, I think I've seen people here make some posts about things suddenly coming up and delaying their ctb. Though usually rather serious events, mine is just lighthearted...But yea, I'd like to hear if anyone else suddenly has something that makes them feel like they shouldn't go yet, no matter how small or big it is

I don't think that makes you a dumbass at all, I think its a very natural way to feel when someone reaches out to you, makes you feel wanted even if its just for a moment. there are people who'd kill to feel that. I think you should count yourself lucky to have found a new friend. Yeah your plans might be delayed a bit but all that means is you get to have a little more fun with someone special or interesting before you go, should you still decide to. I've had mine delayed for financial reasons, or people finding out, or people coming home too soon mid attempt. Having a new friend slow you down is probably one of the best ways it could happen

 

[K14~♡]

That sounds cool, could you send me an invite if you don't mind? (:

Spacehey invite?

 

[chaoschuckler]

Spacehey invite?

Yeah

 

[K14~♡]

Yeah

Invite | SpaceHey

Join SpaceHey through an invite link.

spacehey.com

 

[chaoschuckler]

Invite | SpaceHey

Join SpaceHey through an invite link.

spacehey.com

TQSM ⊂⁠(⁠◉⁠‿⁠◉⁠)⁠つ