N
Nolivesmatter
Member
- Jan 31, 2020
- 13
I had to move back home with my parents for the second time in January after another failed attempt at being independent. I'm in a lot of debt. I have a worthless degree. My work history is so messed up from job hopping and not being able to hold down jobs. I fear the rest of my life will be working minimum wage. Honestly I'll probably be homeless because I've mostly lost the will to live and take care of myself. And I don't think I'll last long.
I'm 28, and I can't keep living like this. If it weren't for my parents I'd probably already be dead. But I feel trapped in this purgatory.
I tried partial a few times last night, but the guilt keeps eating at me that my parents would have to find my body or I'll fail and end up in an even worse situation, so I keep backing out at the last minute. Then I keep waking up the next day even more afraid that I'll have to keep living.
Since moving home, I've tried partial probably over 20 times.
I've made a lot of mistakes, and I've let my problems stack up without solving them and just don't have the energy to... And yet if I keep on living the problems remain... I don't want to take responsibility for my life, and so I perpetuate my suffering.
I'll probably try again tonight. I'll probably end up back in my bed dreading the morning again. I can't continue like this.
I guess I'm just venting.
I'm 28, and I can't keep living like this. If it weren't for my parents I'd probably already be dead. But I feel trapped in this purgatory.
I tried partial a few times last night, but the guilt keeps eating at me that my parents would have to find my body or I'll fail and end up in an even worse situation, so I keep backing out at the last minute. Then I keep waking up the next day even more afraid that I'll have to keep living.
Since moving home, I've tried partial probably over 20 times.
I've made a lot of mistakes, and I've let my problems stack up without solving them and just don't have the energy to... And yet if I keep on living the problems remain... I don't want to take responsibility for my life, and so I perpetuate my suffering.
I'll probably try again tonight. I'll probably end up back in my bed dreading the morning again. I can't continue like this.
I guess I'm just venting.