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N

not_close

Member
Sep 7, 2020
11
The idea of having enough willpower to end my own life at any time would be comforting. The issue I'm dealing with here is: Yes I could hypothetically stab myself at any time but I've tried before and haven't had enough willpower to even make myself bleed.

The best I've done is when I was in like 2nd grade and as a test of my own willpower I successfully stabbed myself in the hand with my pencil without thinking about it too much. I'm thinking I either have to not think about it to much to if I want to actively harm myself or I'll have to practice cutting myself. Any recommendations on how to get into cutting and what kind of knife to use?
 
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Emily_Numb

Emily_Numb

Wizard
Jan 14, 2020
654
Stabbing yourself with a pencil cannot even be compared to lethally wounding yourself with a knife. I can't tell if you're being serious or not?

I'll entertain you for a moment. Do you know the force needed to stab flesh? I suggest you get a side of pork, get a butchers knife and see for yourself the sort of force required. Also would be helpful to first hand experience the feeling of the skin piercing and the flesh tear before you even consider this in any sort of serious way. It's quite a stomach churning feeling.

Stabbing oneself would require absolute zero survival instinct which is almost impossible. No half assed job will do. Also the chances of one stab being enough are pretty much nil.
 
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N

not_close

Member
Sep 7, 2020
11
Stabbing yourself with a pencil cannot even be compared to lethally wounding yourself with a knife. I can't tell if you're being serious or not?
I was being serious, that pencil is the most self harm I've ever actively done to myself. It's so pitiful that it makes me want to learn to cut myself.
 
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W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,163
A pencil? Never thought of that.
Stabbing is hard. I tried to but I chickened out once the knife touched my skin.
 
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Emily_Numb

Emily_Numb

Wizard
Jan 14, 2020
654
I was being serious, that pencil is the most self harm I've ever actively done to myself. It's so pitiful that it makes me want to learn to cut myself.
I think you need to look at the year on your birth certificate and realise this is a site for 18+ year olds.
This is infantile behaviour. Self harm isn't something you want to do. It's not a fashion statement.
 
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Nymph

Nymph

he/him
Jul 15, 2020
2,564
Are you sure you want to do this? If you wanna ctb there's so many better ways to do it. Selfharm is addictive and can leave you in a ditch. It really isn't a great thing to start... please look for different methods. Stabbing takes an extreme amount of willpower and there's not really a reason of doing it..if there so many better, faster and more reliable ways to ctb
 
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*Hope*

*Hope*

Student
Jan 18, 2021
112
Why bother stabbing yourself? Even if you want to get used to the pain to able able to slit your wrist, it isn't worth it. Much rather get drunk and hang yourself to avoid pain. Thats just my opinion tho
 
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Z

Zimcity

Member
Mar 10, 2020
40
Selfharm is addictive and can leave you in a ditch. It really isn't a great thing to start...
How? (Genuine question).
I'm not by nature prone to self harm and started doing it purely for pragmatic reasons. I read in an article that studies show physical pain elaviates emotional pain so I tried and it works to some extent.

I don't feel like it's something I can't control. Anything I should be aware of?
 
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N

not_close

Member
Sep 7, 2020
11
I think I'm sending the wrong message to some of you guys here so let me try again

I'd prefer SN or a Caffeine overdose or some kind of orally administered poison to stabbing myself. I'd just like to build up the willpower to be able to stab myself so I can have the peace of mind of knowing I can end my life at any time. It doesn't look like I'll be achieving that though. I don't believe in stabbing yourself as a fashion statement. Even if it's argued that it is I don't really care for fashion in the first place. The last thing I'd like to ask is that nobody harass me, there's a decent chance that I'm just feeding into my own harassment by responding in this way but I still think it's worth a shot to ask people to be nice.
 
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Emily_Numb

Emily_Numb

Wizard
Jan 14, 2020
654
You CAN end your life at any time. Simply jump off a tall enough building. Job done.
 
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S

Symbiote

Global Mod
Oct 12, 2020
3,099
Stabbing and poisoning are two very different things. Stabbing = pain and poisoning by SN = almost painless...That so called willpower to die is negated by your survival instinct which everyone has, but can never tell you how to override it. I guess life would have to be absolutely miserable or feel you're backed into a corner that you don't give a fuck how you die as long as you die. Once you get to that point, then you won't care what method as long as it gets the job done. Don't worry though 75% of the people in this forum are in the same boat as you. The other 25% are dead already.
 
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Z

Zimcity

Member
Mar 10, 2020
40
I think I'm sending the wrong message to some of you guys here so let me try again

I'd prefer SN or a Caffeine overdose or some kind of orally administered poison to stabbing myself. I'd just like to build up the willpower to be able to stab myself so I can have the peace of mind of knowing I can end my life at any time. It doesn't look like I'll be achieving that though. I don't believe in stabbing yourself as a fashion statement. Even if it's argued that it is I don't really care for fashion in the first place. The last thing I'd like to ask is that nobody harass me, there's a decent chance that I'm just feeding into my own harassment by responding in this way but I still think it's worth a shot to ask people to be nice.
I wouldn't suggest it as a practice. You can easily damage nerves or tendrils that can fuck with your motor skills. A co-worker stabbed himself in the shoulder in a drunken angry/depressed state and he's now got a permanently shot arm.

If you want to train to reduce survival insticts I would think it would make more sense to find a method you like and train for that. Like for instance sit with a plastic bag loose over your head a good amount so you get comfortable and used to having it on - if exit bag was your method.

I don't think you can train yourself out of generally having survival instincts - you probably CAN build up a tolerance to specific actions though. Like a guy using lenses trains his reflexes to not shut his eyes when he touches them.
 
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Acopia

Acopia

Specialist
Sep 21, 2020
356
How? (Genuine question).
I'm not by nature prone to self harm and started doing it purely for pragmatic reasons. I read in an article that studies show physical pain elaviates emotional pain so I tried and it works to some extent.

I don't feel like it's something I can't control. Anything I should be aware of?

I always used to think I was in control, I could stop when I liked, I could keep to one part of my body.. that may have been true at first.
However there comes a point (like any addiction) where you try to stop and you can't, or you stop for a while and then something goes wrong and the urge comes back and before you know it you're sat in the bathroom with a blade in your hand and blood everywhere.
There will absolutely be people who can control their SH urges, and you may be one of the lucky ones - I truly hope you are! I started in a similar way to you, I pretty much forced myself to cut because it did to some extent make me feel better, but then it became my coping strategy. I didn't listen to the people who were warning me that one day I wouldn't be able to control it, and I totally regret not stopping when it was in my power to do so.
I'm now stuck in a body covered with scars as a constant reminder, and the ones on my arms are an advertisement for anyone who looks at me. I haven't cut for 2 months (yeyy) however my mood has dropped dramatically and I know that a SH sesh is on the way, I don't want it to be, but it is.
Honestly, it's a shit problem to have.
From one heart to another, please stop while you can. If you don't you may find yourself in the same position I'm in now, warning others who don't believe you.
Peace, love, and strength to you,
-Acopia:heart:
 
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Z

Zimcity

Member
Mar 10, 2020
40
I always used to think I was in control, I could stop when I liked, I could keep to one part of my body.. that may have been true at first.
However there comes a point (like any addiction) where you try to stop and you can't, or you stop for a while and then something goes wrong and the urge comes back and before you know it you're sat in the bathroom with a blade in your hand and blood everywhere.
There will absolutely be people who can control their SH urges, and you may be one of the lucky ones - I truly hope you are! I started in a similar way to you, I pretty much forced myself to cut because it did to some extent make me feel better, but then it became my coping strategy. I didn't listen to the people who were warning me that one day I wouldn't be able to control it, and I totally regret not stopping when it was in my power to do so.
I'm now stuck in a body covered with scars as a constant reminder, and the ones on my arms are an advertisement for anyone who looks at me. I haven't cut for 2 months (yeyy) however my mood has dropped dramatically and I know that a SH sesh is on the way, I don't want it to be, but it is.
Honestly, it's a shit problem to have.
From one heart to another, please stop while you can. If you don't you may find yourself in the same position I'm in now, warning others who don't believe you.
Peace, love, and strength to you,
-Acopia:heart:
Hmm. Okay. I will likely heed your warning. Thank you for making me aware of this danger.
 
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W

Winter_Flower

Always thirsty for summer rain x
May 18, 2019
73
I always used to think I was in control, I could stop when I liked, I could keep to one part of my body.. that may have been true at first.
However there comes a point (like any addiction) where you try to stop and you can't, or you stop for a while and then something goes wrong and the urge comes back and before you know it you're sat in the bathroom with a blade in your hand and blood everywhere.
There will absolutely be people who can control their SH urges, and you may be one of the lucky ones - I truly hope you are! I started in a similar way to you, I pretty much forced myself to cut because it did to some extent make me feel better, but then it became my coping strategy. I didn't listen to the people who were warning me that one day I wouldn't be able to control it, and I totally regret not stopping when it was in my power to do so.
I'm now stuck in a body covered with scars as a constant reminder, and the ones on my arms are an advertisement for anyone who looks at me. I haven't cut for 2 months (yeyy) however my mood has dropped dramatically and I know that a SH sesh is on the way, I don't want it to be, but it is.
Honestly, it's a shit problem to have.
From one heart to another, please stop while you can. If you don't you may find yourself in the same position I'm in now, warning others who don't believe you.
Peace, love, and strength to you,
-Acopia:heart:
This I can totally relate to. I first SH at 15.........managed to stop from 18 to 27.......and I'm now 41 and I'm still using this as a coping mechanism x It is totally addictive, the need to feel something other than emotional pain, depression etc is huge. And when you get that feeling of not thinking of anything else other than pain/euphoria/disassociation you want it me because it takes the mental pain away xx
 
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Nymph

Nymph

he/him
Jul 15, 2020
2,564
How? (Genuine question).
I'm not by nature prone to self harm and started doing it purely for pragmatic reasons. I read in an article that studies show physical pain elaviates emotional pain so I tried and it works to some extent.

I don't feel like it's something I can't control. Anything I should be aware of?
Maybe you're start enjoying the pain and find comfort in it. I used selfharm as a coping mechanism so everytime I was overloaded with emotions I'd start cutting. It can be mentally addictive
 
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Uzera

Uzera

Member
Apr 11, 2020
77
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Stabbing yourself is not easy. Also like someone said one wound isn't gonna cut it. Itll take like 252 minutes to die from A stab wound so more would make it go quicker. Its just fucking hard. I've thought about trying to find another method theres really just none available to me atm.
 
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wanttodie

wanttodie

Enlightened
Apr 19, 2018
1,828
I've been thinking of stab myself to
 
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EdibleGasMask

EdibleGasMask

Member
Jan 30, 2020
76
I managed to work up the nerve to stab myself it was months of not looking and rapidly stabbing lightly into my leg. It wasn't nice it became an accidental habit I did it in stressful situations. One day I was stressed and accidentally stabbed too far and had to get it practically stitched it was about half an inch to an inch deep, I was bleeding everywhere I was panicking and I had traumatized the people I was living with but it never hurt it felt weird almost like my leg went numb. I don't want people to stab themselves it only give more suffering to people around you. I haven't self harmed myself since I stabbed myself like that. When people say it gets addicting it will, its not a chance it will. It's like when people stress eat it calms the emotions but at the cost of potential painful infection and a mess you have to clean up.
 
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P

pegasus4320

Member
Jan 16, 2021
5
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Stabbing yourself is not easy. Also like someone said one wound isn't gonna cut it. Itll take like 252 minutes to die from A stab wound so more would make it go quicker. Its just fucking hard. I've thought about trying to find another method theres really just none available to me atm.
Hi, I'm new to Ss and was just wondering how you know it'll take 252 minutes to die from a stab wound? Is this if it's left untreated? And how deep would it need to be? Sorry if these are obvious questions.
 

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