Waking up is so fucking sad

[danzk]

When I'm sleeping I feel a thousand times better than when I'm awake, when I wake up I feel enormous sadness for not having simply died in my sleep. The choice to die could be easier for all of us.

 

[sickofthisht]

I just wish I could get some sleep

 

[femboyy]

i agree, i really just want to sleep forever

 

[rednights]

It would be so awesome to just dream forever. My dreams aren't always fun, sometimes they reflect my daytime struggles. But other times, I'm in a whole new world and completely unburdened.

If only we could all just do that forever, but even if I do sleep in I can only fall asleep so long before I'm simply lying there awake in bed.

 

[jbear824]

Same here. The disappointment I feel waking up. The emotional devastation of another day being a hostage.

 

[Csmith8827]

Same here. The disappointment I feel waking up. The emotional devastation of another day being a hostage.

Yeah but at least you have a spouse... someone to share the burden with. I remember waking up one day and just like realizing the "burden of existence." Like it's honestly become a burden for myself. It wasn't always like this...I guess I kinda cursed myself. Sigh. Hopefully one day it's all better...

 

[lita-lassi]

i spend so long after waking up just laying in bed wishing i didn't have to exist every single day

 

[Pluto]

 

[Linda]

i agree, i really just want to sleep forever

Why do you want to ctb? I had a look at your past messages but they don't state a reason.

 

[femboyy]

Why do you want to ctb? I had a look at your past messages but they don't state a reason.

mostly because of my chronic illness.

 

[Ligottian]

If we could sleep twenty-four hours a day, we would soon return to the primordial slime, the beatitude of that perfect torpor before Genesis - the dream of every consciousness sick of itself.

- Emil Cioran, The Trouble With Being Born

 

[jbear824]

Yeah but at least you have a spouse... someone to share the burden with. I remember waking up one day and just like realizing the "burden of existence." Like it's honestly become a burden for myself. It wasn't always like this...I guess I kinda cursed myself. Sigh. Hopefully one day it's all better...

At first that seems positive right, that I have a partner?

And in some ways it is. But it's a double edge sword. He loves me. I love him. That love keeps me trapped into living. Because it triggers my SI. I don't want to hurt him.

The other downside is that now that the US is descending into fascism, if I continue to live, I will have to watch him be harmed by the world we are living in. Possibly even killed, depending on how bad it gets here.

That just fuels my depression. I wish I could leave him. But I can't. So every day I have to balance out my feelings. My resentment over the fact that my love for him keeps me trapped in this hell. And that my continued existence gives him some protection. But the result is that I am constantly suicidal. Which makes him feel like shit about himself, and then that just fuels the suicidality even more.

 

[BlendedHeart]

Amen to that. Every morning is the same song and dance. Dreading the fact that I'm still alive from the moment I open my eyes.

 

[Defenestration]

angry and depressed After wake up

 

[Electra]

I wake up and have anxiety for breakfast with a cup of panic.

 

[nymb]

i am sleeping just for killing time, i dont even like sleeping itself

 

[PetrichorBirth]

When I'm sleeping I feel a thousand times better than when I'm awake, when I wake up I feel enormous sadness for not having simply died in my sleep. The choice to die could be easier for all of us.

Cant really add much to this thread, but i do wanna say that i love Evangelion.

mostly because of my chronic illness.

and i also love nichijou. And yeah same chronic illness really sucks

 

[RosebyAnyName]

I regularly postpone going to sleep because I always dread having to wake up tomorrow. I have a job, so I need to wake up early most days.

I remember back when I had the time I would genuinely just rot in bed (or in front of the computer) for the whole day, nothing in life ever seemed worth waking up for.

 

[danzk]

O mesmo aqui. A decepção que sinto ao acordar. A devastação emocional de mais um dia sendo refém.

fr

 

[dazed.daydreamer]

I hate the moment as I'm waking up and becoming alert, the transition from feeling at ease to feeling my limbs become heavy again, the anxiety filling my chest, and remembering the things I'm stressed about or just feeling upset that I'm awake again

 

[EscapeFromLife]

When I'm sleeping I feel a thousand times better than when I'm awake, when I wake up I feel enormous sadness for not having simply died in my sleep. The choice to die could be easier for all of us.

So true … I feel the same.

 

[leaftomb]

i hope death feels like eternal sleep because that's all i fucking need

 

[Daryl72]

When I'm sleeping I feel a thousand times better than when I'm awake, when I wake up I feel enormous sadness for not having simply died in my sleep. The choice to die could be easier for all of us.

Feel exactly the same. Couldn't have said it better

 

[Not A Fan]

When I'm sleeping I feel a thousand times better than when I'm awake, when I wake up I feel enormous sadness for not having simply died in my sleep. The choice to die could be easier for all of us.

Yeah I was just thinking about this earlier today after I woke up, went back to sleep for 5 hours, and then couldn't sleep anymore. It's unfortunate actual hibernation is not biologically possible for human physiology. That would be like the next best thing to ctb, a natural self-induced coma.

i hope death feels like eternal sleep because that's all i fucking need

The concept of immortality is horrifying to me.

 

[Electra]

i hope death feels like eternal sleep because that's all i fucking need

If you think about it, sleeping is a temporary suspension of your conscious mind, with your subconscious mind generating dreams through electrical impulses that you might or might not remember. Death is a permanent suspension of both your subconscious and conscious mind. Just as you're not aware that you're sleeping (excluding the lucid dreaming phenomenon), you're not going to be aware that you're dead, so it's just going to be permanent nothingness. At least, that's how I look at it, and for some reason, it gives me peace of mind.

 

[leaftomb]

If you think about it, sleeping is a temporary suspension of your conscious mind, with your subconscious mind generating dreams through electrical impulses that you might or might not remember. Death is a permanent suspension of both your subconscious and conscious mind. Just as you're not aware that you're sleeping (excluding the lucid dreaming phenomenon), you're not going to be aware that you're dead, so it's just going to be permanent nothingness. At least, that's how I look at it, and for some reason, it gives me peace of mind.

that makes me feel a lot better about it, honestly. i hope you're right

 

[Felodese]

Sleep is the best escape, really. I used to be able to depression nap for like 48 h straight. Now I have meds that make me wake up at 6 a.m. and completely unable to relax or fall back asleep The haven't changed the fact that I wake up wishing I'd died in my sleep, but they do get me out of bed