Help Waiting until my parents kick me out to CTB

[annoyed]

To preface, I am a 21 year old male still living with my mom and stepfather. I planned on going to school but it's been rough for me to even get instituted into classes and it's only stressing me out more. I barely work and my only bill is my phone bill.

Is this plan viable in terms of getting nobody to figure out my whereabouts or my well being if I do end up killing myself in a secluded area? I won't be able to keep in touch with family because my phone will most likely be turned off since I am under a family plan. I just want to be able to walk out of the house with no plans on returning and just walk around until I find a place to end my life. I'm just sitting around subconsiously fucking everything in my life up until my mom gets sick of me and wants me out of her house.

What do I even plan on doing once I leave the house for good with nowhere else to go? Do I somehow get access to a roof and jump? Do I suffocate myself in a body of water? I have no plans and genuinely need advice. I barely have money for a painless solution to end my life and I honestly don't think I'd be able to purchase any items I need without my parents questioning it. I don't know everything makes no sense I just want to be gone for good.

Maybe I can kick myself out the house and run away? I'm not a teenager anymore, so whatever option I want to do they can't necessarily complain, right?

 

[lostovertime]

Can you start working?

 

[annoyed]

Can you start working?

It's hard to find any jobs hiring and with the issue of transportation being complicated because my mom's vehicle isn't safe enough to drive when something happens to it I can't get any jobs that's not really close to me and I've tried applying for numerous jobs near me but they aren't hiring. I tried remote jobs but that's the hardest thing to find right now.

 

[antonhylion]

You don't even have money to kill yourself bro

 

[annoyed]

You don't even have money to kill yourself bro

There are cost-efficient ways to die, painless or not.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm 19 and I'm in the exact same situation. I wish I could tell you what to do but I don't even know what to do in my own situation. I get scared of being homeless because I know that I'm simply unable to conform to society's demands but it will inevitably happen for me whether I like it or not. I just don't know what to do after I become homeless. I hate that I'm autistic as, just like how it makes me too stupid to figure out anything in life, it also makes me too stupid to figure out how to die. Because of this, I feel so trapped and alone. Maybe we could chat with each other in dm and try to brainstorm some solutions?

 

[lostovertime]

M

I'm 19 and I'm in the exact same situation. I wish I could tell you what to do but I don't even know what to do in my own situation. I get scared of being homeless because I know that I'm simply unable to conform to society's demands but it will inevitably happen for me whether I like it or not. I just don't know what to do after I become homeless. I hate that I'm autistic as, just like how it makes me too stupid to figure out anything in life, it also makes me too stupid to figure out how to die. Because of this, I feel so trapped and alone. Maybe we could chat with each other in dm and try to brainstorm some solutions?

In your response you seem so well educated. Im so sorry life is being so hard on you both. Wishing you both comfort. Please keep in mind how young you both are. There is no taking it back if you do decide to ctb. Either way I hope you find the peace you deserve.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

M

In your response you seem so well educated. Im so sorry life is being so hard on you both. Wishing you both comfort. Please keep in mind how young you both are. There is no taking it back if you do decide to ctb. Either way I hope you find the peace you deserve.

The permanence of ctb is a reason as to why I want to be dead. It's a permanent solution to my problems and I don't want it to be taken back. I want it to be permanent for me. Also, thank you for your post

 

[lostovertime]

The permanence of ctb is a reason as to why I want to be dead. It's a permanent solution to my problems and I don't want it to be taken back. I want it to be permanent for me. Also, thank you for your post

Respect

 

[antonhylion]

There are cost-efficient ways to die, painless or not.

Which ones?