Story Waiting to CBT

[Pikashuu83]

Hi SS community,

I don't know where to start. I am exhausted at this point, but before I start my peeps for CBT, I want to let it out.

5 years, I first started sinking, uncontrollably.. I got accused of sexual harrasment, which I never did, which destroyed my life. Since then, I have just lost stuff, friends, family. So much so at this point I have no one to talk to since 2 years. I gave myself one last chance to try fix my life , when I was restarting my studies for the 4th time, but again, it all went haywire, both in my personal life and my family. at this point I am exhausted, my dreams died years back, so did any will I had, I was living for the sake of some people who I didn't want to hurt. But all in the end, they don't care either, and I am tired pulling through.

I have tried to Cbt a few times but got discovered.

But finally, I think I am ready to pass on.. I have nothing that keeps me interested to stay on this side.

My mom went away.
My father did the same.
My fiancee just gave up on me and left because I was taking too much time to get back into society.

I cannot get any reputable jobs, because if my record.

I am 23 and I have no motivation to continue to study either.

Hence I have planned to CBT by my birthday by January. SN seems to be my way to go..

Sorry I ranted here.. I have been a mess and I needed to vent out so that I can start my final plans with a clearer head.. it's abnoxiously shortened, my story, it's a mess like my mind.. I'll try venting out properly later

 

[LMLN]

I'm so sorry its come to this for you. Life can change for the worse very quickly. I'm so sorry. I unfortunately have had some very tragic things happen and find myself in this place as well.
Please reach out here. I've found many people that are willing to lend an ear.
Ranting is good! I think it can help to talk things out and process our situations.
Take care. ❤

 

[Lotus1818]

Talking always helps a bit. Atleast for me. And in this case you have a community that understands your pain.

What other ways for you try and how did you get discovered?

 

[Pikashuu83]

Talking always helps a bit. Atleast for me. And in this case you have a community that understands your pain.

What other ways for you try and how did you get discovered?

I tried hanging, but the rope broke and I was discovered unconscious a few hours later.

I tried exit bag, I panic removed it my first try, next time I tried it with help of some pills that I pass out, but I somehow tore the bag.

I'm so sorry its come to this for you. Life can change for the worse very quickly. I'm so sorry. I unfortunately have had some very tragic things happen and find myself in this place as well.
Please reach out here. I've found many people that are willing to lend an ear.
Ranting is good! I think it can help to talk things out and process our situations.
Take care. ❤

Thanks.. anyone irl I try talking to, they just say I am faking it. I know I made mistakes in life, but I was not bad.. but I made a living joke of myself and no one takes me seriously.

 

[LMLN]

Thanks.. anyone irl I try talking to, they just say I am faking it. I know I made mistakes in life, but I was not bad.. but I made a living joke of myself and no one takes me seriously.
[/QUOTE]

Unless people are in our shoes they dont understand. I was guilty of that before this. Couldn't understand how someone would want to cbt. I know now unfortunately.

 

[Pikashuu83]

Thanks.. anyone irl I try talking to, they just say I am faking it. I know I made mistakes in life, but I was not bad.. but I made a living joke of myself and no one takes me seriously.

Unless people are in our shoes they dont understand. I was guilty of that before this. Couldn't understand how someone would want to cbt. I know now unfortunately.
[/QUOTE]
Frustrating... I tried years to reach out. Ah well. Doesn't matter I guess. Once I gather all my resources, it will be over

 

[nbn]

I tried hanging, but the rope broke and I was discovered unconscious a few hours later.

I tried exit bag, I panic removed it my first try, next time I tried it with help of some pills that I pass out, but I somehow tore the bag.

Thanks.. anyone irl I try talking to, they just say I am faking it. I know I made mistakes in life, but I was not bad.. but I made a living joke of myself and no one takes me seriously.

sorry to hear that.What kind of hanging did u use.Full suspension or partial.How did the rope break.Did you feel any pain while hanging

 

[Pikashuu83]

sorry to hear that.What kind of hanging did u use.Full suspension or partial.How did the rope break.Did you feel any pain while hanging

I tried to full suspension, tying my rope up at the ceiling fan hangers (idk if that's a thing). It didn't pain, I passed out, just to wake up later and seeing the rope snapped in the middle