Waiting for the bus

[reallysleepy]

I'm anxious because kind of soon I'm finally going to be able to ctb.
On September I tried (and obviously failed) and my bf made me promised to try to live until April at least. This past couple of months I've been pretending to get better and less suicidal and everyone is happy and impressed with my progress, but the date is finally coming to me and I can't wait.
Im sick of living this life and honestly I don't even want a different one, I just want to no exist, to sleep forever without dreams. All I can think of is that in 2 months I'll be finally dead and I'm so anxious, I just hope to go to bed today and to wake up on April.

 

[Dliena]

I'm very sorry life has brought you to this point OP. CTBing can be one of the hardest and scariest things to ever do in existence but I'm certain you'll one day get a taste of
the eternal sweet peace or whatever else you may desire. Wishing nothing but the best for you either way.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also only wish for the peace of eternal nothingness, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.