Vicious Cycle

[eternalbliss22]

I'm not sure why I'm making posts. After everything I've been through I don't trust this to be a real site or completely safe & anonymous one. Years of harassment, both in rl & cyber, dealing with hackers, ddos attacks, faked websites, stalked, threatened, mysterious deaths of pets, invasion of privacy, invasion of home & property, interference at work, being lied about, constant baiting & stress tests, law enforcement turning their backs, shady counseling services, gaslighting, manipulation & the list goes on. It gave me a mental breakdown a few years ago. All this after years of mental, physical, & emotional abuse by so called family members. Ab abusive & evil mother who would attack out of no where, punching & stomping, throwing knives & scissors at you & framed my father for a crime he didn't commit which he spent 4 years in prison. Don't feel bad for him, because he was every bit as abusive, only he didn't attack out of no where. He'd punch & stomp, not only put a child in hospital, but he killed his first child by beating his pregnant wife into a miscarriage. Unfortunately for me, because he did this I was conceived, she should have still been pregnant with his murdered kid. I only exist because of abuse & I only know about being abused. One brother has almost killed me multiple times by stabbing me in the head & suffocating me. Another brother is sadistic & would get me in trouble with our volatile mother just so he could watch. Fortunately both parents are now dead & the world is better for it. I've completed excised all relatives. I live a solitary life with only social support are cats. This isn't bad enough for some, since the harassment continues. My only option is death, but SI is troublesome. I do have hope in that a few weeks ago I was able to attempt a hanging. It was obviously unsuccessful due to I didn't have the rope anchored properly. I learned from that mistake & the next time I will be successful. Although it failed, it gives me confidence & hope that I can finally break this vicious cycle and cease to exist. I don't believe in an afterlife or any man made religion & I'm sick of all the Jesus freaks. Christians are the worst & biggest hypocrits.

 

[botanormal]

Reading this was a lot, I can't even imagine what it must've felt like to go through it all. I'm truly sorry that life has given you such awful experiences. Being abused at the hand of family is such a tough thing to go through - they're the ones who are supposed to love us unconditionally, yet sometimes they can bring us the worst hatred & abuse imaginable. This world can be a truly terrible place sometimes, and I'm sorry you experienced some of the worst of it. I'm glad, at the very least, you have some furry friends to take care of. Even when they don't even understand a fraction of our pain, they always know how to make us feel comforted. I wish you a lot of comfort & peace, regardless of your path. Thank you for sharing

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so incredibly horrific what you've had to experience, it's beyond awful and tragic how humans are brought into this hellish world just to suffer so much. I hope that you eventually find freedom from all torment.