Venting Very soon it's going to be my time to go

[lawlietsph]

The pain is so much worse than ever before. I am tired, so incredibly tired.
I feel this way since I was 13. My 29th birthday is coming up... I just don't want to live anymore.
Running low on money again. Sending my applications, sending sending sending my cv, only to get NO answers. Taking parts in these stupid online interviews. Only for them to choose someone else.
I will never be good enough. Not for work, not for any kind of friendship, relationship, not as a child, not as an aunt, not as a human being.
What am I going to do when my money is gone. What am I going to do this time.
Am I going to be hungry again? It was the worst feeling, I don't want that, no no please don't.
How am I ever going to buy clothes for myself? How am I ever going to be pretty without money?
I just want to sleep, my soul is tired.
I need to go very soon, life became unbearable.
I don't have money to buy sn.
I have to hang myself. I'm so scared it's going to hurt but there is no other choice anymore.
It hurts so much.

 

[Daydream Believer]

The pain is so much worse than ever before. I am tired, so incredibly tired.
I feel this way since I was 13. My 29th birthday is coming up... I just don't want to live anymore.
Running low on money again. Sending my applications, sending sending sending my cv, only to get NO answers. Taking parts in these stupid online interviews. Only for them to choose someone else.
I will never be good enough. Not for work, not for any kind of friendship, relationship, not as a child, not as an aunt, not as a human being.
What am I going to do when my money is gone. What am I going to do this time.
Am I going to be hungry again? It was the worst feeling, I don't want that, no no please don't.
How am I ever going to buy clothes for myself? How am I ever going to be pretty without money?
I just want to sleep, my soul is tired.
I need to go very soon, life became unbearable.
I don't have money to buy sn.
I have to hang myself. I'm so scared it's going to hurt but there is no other choice anymore.
It hurts so much.

I know exactly how you feel because I am in the same boat. Much love to you

 

[lawlietsph]

I know exactly how you feel because I am in the same boat. Much love to you

Thank you. I wish there was a solution but there isn't... Stupid, stupid fucking money. I hate it so much.

 

[Daydream Believer]

Thank you. I wish there was a solution but there isn't... Stupid, stupid fucking money. I hate it so much.

I hate money too, but alas I need it to at least live in a bit of comfort rather than from hand to mouth.

I moved to a tropical island just over 4 years ago. I have survived quite well but now things are more difficult. I live on a fruit only diet so healthy and cheap.

I had stayed alone for seven years and was happy. Then about a year ago a woman broke my mind and heart. I have lived in sorrow and bewilderment since then. I understand what it is like to die before death. Therefore I visit this site with a dream of CTB.


I isolate from this mad world

 

[lawlietsph]

I hate money too, but alas I need it to at least live in a bit of comfort rather than from hand to mouth.

I moved to a tropical island just over 4 years ago. I have survived quite well but now things are more difficult. I live on a fruit only diet so healthy and cheap.

I had stayed alone for seven years and was happy. Then about a year ago a woman broke my mind and heart. I have lived in sorrow and bewilderment since then. I understand what it is like to die before death. Therefore I visit this site with a dream of CTB.


I isolate from this mad world

The tropical island sound soooo nice But i'm sure life is not easy, it's not easy no matter where you are...
I also completely understand the heartbreak. The exact same thing happened to me.

You said it perfectly actually. I think we are dead already. There's no point or hope, this world is long gone and I refuse to be a part of it.

 

[Daydream Believer]

Even though I live on a tropical island with to-die-for (lol) sun-kissed golden beaches, mind is full of blackness and pain. I simply live one day at a time.

I have SN already. Things to sort out before I take the so-called easy way out.

My life is shit.

Much love and hugs and good luck my fellow broken warrior.