ratlover223
angelic fairy butterfly
- Mar 13, 2023
- 18
i daydream about what could be different like how i could've been more outgoing and not awkward in elementary/middle/highschool but it has always been a struggle maintaining relationships. i freeze up on the thought of starting up conversations with other people and i get so sick thinking i'll humiliate myself so i'm in my own little bubble, even at work. why do i have to force myself to keep on a smile at work? i just want to do my job but i have to interact with bitchy customers and my dick-ish boss.
i can't even bother trying to talk to others. i'm so lonely and i can't even hug my partner who is so far away right now. she is my one reason i am still dangling on a thread right now. every time i try to feel good on bad days, it doesn't work and the constant deep sadness in my chest never goes away. i only look forward to calling my partner and then getting high before going to bed. or staring at my ceiling before i sleep.
i can't even bother trying to talk to others. i'm so lonely and i can't even hug my partner who is so far away right now. she is my one reason i am still dangling on a thread right now. every time i try to feel good on bad days, it doesn't work and the constant deep sadness in my chest never goes away. i only look forward to calling my partner and then getting high before going to bed. or staring at my ceiling before i sleep.
