princeseadove
wannabe angel
- Mar 4, 2025
- 69
Surprisingly, I don't have a genuine problem with pro-lifers until it comes to talking about my issues and getting comfort. And I realize now how.. angry it makes me. A few weeks ago I talked to a friend about my issues, and honestly I really wish I didn't. At the time I needed it, but now I can't help but think of all the ways I should have yelled at her. Comments like "things will get better" and stuff like that. More importantly about making connection. You know it was sometime last year that she told me I'm hard to love with a whole "no offense", and when I tell her she stays quiet. She tells me the friendgroup is here for me, but due to last years isolation it makes it very hard for me to be included now. I don't blame them, even when I did try this year they don't consider me at all. That thing I did tell her, though not directly. But it just frustrates me. It just feels like being lied too.
Yesterday I ended up caving and telling a friend I plan to commit suicide this year, and she told me a few things including the fact that there's nothing she can do because the choice is mine. And it's like. I DONT CARE MAN. Just repeating it over and over, and I don't want to be saved. For a long time I never did. Whenever I talk to her she makes it about herself, especially when I'm talking about my relationships with other people And she compares it to her relationship with those people and blah blah. It's like talking to a coworker about stuff you don't care about. We are two separate people, how they are with me is different how they are with you it's not the same!!! That's the thing I guess. She thinks that she is so similar to me that we are the same, when we really aren't.
And the thing that gets me is that fundamentally you can't get mad at them for saying stuff like this. They don't understand what it means to be wanting death so so so much with no way out. If you do get mad, if you do tell tell them how hypocritical it is, they don't truly listen. It goes in one ear and out the other, and the only thing theyll get from it is that youre ungrateful. I'm fucking sick of this
Yesterday I ended up caving and telling a friend I plan to commit suicide this year, and she told me a few things including the fact that there's nothing she can do because the choice is mine. And it's like. I DONT CARE MAN. Just repeating it over and over, and I don't want to be saved. For a long time I never did. Whenever I talk to her she makes it about herself, especially when I'm talking about my relationships with other people And she compares it to her relationship with those people and blah blah. It's like talking to a coworker about stuff you don't care about. We are two separate people, how they are with me is different how they are with you it's not the same!!! That's the thing I guess. She thinks that she is so similar to me that we are the same, when we really aren't.
And the thing that gets me is that fundamentally you can't get mad at them for saying stuff like this. They don't understand what it means to be wanting death so so so much with no way out. If you do get mad, if you do tell tell them how hypocritical it is, they don't truly listen. It goes in one ear and out the other, and the only thing theyll get from it is that youre ungrateful. I'm fucking sick of this
