venting about my life

[oiopb]

i dont have money for a psy and my familly refuse to talk about this they are scared of suicide so here i am to vent a bit , i had a decent childhood until 10 year old , my step father got a knife and threaten me and my mother lied to the police saying that it was not true to keep him out of jail and i got sent to a foster home been depressed since i was 10 years old i thought this life is useless because we all die anyways and everything we do is useless.

now im 29 year old and im stuck at the hospital but as soon as i can find a wqy to ctb ill try again, i tried pills but i just slept for a while and woke up in the hospital, i tried partial hanging but its too hard , i cant find a way to do it, maybe theow myself in front of a truck but that scares me and the poor driver do not deserve that.

theres medical " help to die" in canada and i believe it should be free of access to anyone..... this life is unfair , i did not chose to be here my parents just had sex one night and here i am.... stuck in this sad world

 

[FuneralCry]

It's certainly so cruel and awful how people cannot just leave this existence in peace despite the fact that they were tragically burdened with the ability to exist. I just hate how we have to suffer so much ultimately because other people chose to procreate, if people were compassionate enough to leave the non-existent alone in peace it'd prevent all human suffering. But anyway I get that it's so dreadful feeling trapped in this existence, I envy those who are able to get legalised assisted suicide.

 

[antilife]

I'm so sorry this happened in your childhood. I also have childhood trauma and it's so bad that I guess my brain is damaged from it forever. I'm severely depressed too and currently in a psych ward but I still plan to ctb. My preferable method is nitrogen, it's quite expensive but I'm spending all the money I got on it. Gives me hope to plan to ctb. I feel you that you don't feel like there's another option. Good luck